Finding Courage
by klainegleek77
Summary: Blaine gets a call after Warbler practice one night. Kurt has been attacked and raped. The emotional stress Kurt goes through is beyond heavy. Can Blaine help Kurt find courage again? Very angsty! Very romantic; M for graphic material and sex scenes l8r.
1. Chapter 1: The Attack

**A/N: This is an edited version of the first chapter I posted. Don't worry! It still has the same dialogue and storyline but it is more easy to read and hopefully grammar free ;) If you have never read this story before however, enjoy! I also have two other ongoing stories if you like: "Take a Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and "Getting to Know You"**

**Warning! Swearing, talk of a physical attack.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter One: The Attack

I felt like I could throw up. It seemed like my stomach started twisting into knots formed from knots and it just wouldn't stop. I've never felt so sick and worried in my whole life. Today didn't start out that way thought.

Today seemed like an ordinary day; I woke up to a "Good morning baby. I love you!(:" text from Kurt, which made me grin from ear to ear, and then I had school and Warbler practice. Right after Warbler practice, I had just settled into my dorm. I threw my shoes to the other side of the room and lied on the bed.

I swore if I heard "Order, Warblers, order!" from Wes one more time, I am going to shove that gavel down his throat.

Then my cell phone rang.

Out of instinct, I thought it was Kurt. It was a number I didn't have saved.

"Hello?" I answered, expecting to hear Kurt's soft, sweet voice.

Instead it was a rushed, unfamiliar voice: "Hey! Blaine?"

"Um, yes, who is this?"

"Oh sorry! This is Finn. Uh, Kurt's step brother Finn Hudson."

"Oh, hey Finn, What's up?"

"It's Kurt, Blaine! He's in the hospital. Oh god… its bad man. He was attacked tonight and we think he was raped."

That's when it hit me.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh my poor Kurt… Oh god he's so innocent and sweet. Some people may disagree, but to me he is. Who could do this to him? All I heard was 'he's in the hospital' and my shoes we're back on in seconds.

I didn't worry to change or shower. I asked Finn for the address, inputted it in my GPS, and drove at least 10-20 miles over the speed limit. I didn't even listen to music. My head was too busy: _Kurt. My Kurt. He's hurt. He's been beat up. He's in the hospital. Kurt. Kurt's in the hospital. He hates hospitals. Oh god what if he's crying for me? Kurt. My Kurt. _

I had to fight back the tears numerous times that came to my eyes. I didn't have time to pull over and cry. I needed to see Kurt.

I reached Lima Medical Hospital and parked in the nearest parking space then ran to the ER doors in my Dalton uniform. I scanned the waiting room to look for Kurt's family. I couldn't find Burt or Finn but I saw Carole.

She looked up and saw me. She waved me to where she was and I ran over there. I guess I had too many questions; "Where is he? Is he going to be okay? Is there anything new? What happened?"

"Sh... Blaine honey, slow down. He's getting tests run," she spoke slowly to me.

My eyebrows rose. "What kind of tests?"

"Um… physical tests. They're looking for signs of bruises or bleeding," she replied uncomfortably.

My heart leaped to my throat. What if he _was_ raped? Oh god we haven't even had sex yet. We had just talked about it and said we were ready. God, what if this bastard stole his virginity when we could have been each other's firsts?

I let out a shaky breath before I asked Carole the question that haunted me the most: "What happened to him?"

Carole swallowed thickly and looked at me with pitiful eyes. "He went to the grocery store to get a few items for supper. Next thing we know, we get a phone call from the police saying they got a call from a customer. The customer probably spotted Kurt as they were leaving or going in the store. His…his pants were around his ankles and he had bruises _everywhere_ and one big cut on his stomach."

I felt like throwing up for the second time tonight.

There is no doubt that they raped him. The story tells it all. I'm speechless, what am I supposed to do? My knees started to quiver, and Carole must have noticed because she placed her hands on my shoulders and helped guide me to a chair.

The story terrified me. I don't know what I would have done if that happened to me, being publicly humiliated? Did they rape him in the parking lot of a public grocery store? This alone made me want to….punch…or….kick…something.

I felt nauseous.

Whenever my heart rate slowed down, I looked around the room to see if I could find a doctor, nurse, doctor's assistant…somebody. Other than Carole and me, the emergency room was basically empty except for an old man sleeping with a newspaper on his chest, and a woman in sweats watching some soap opera on the TV.

Then I saw Kurt's dad come around the corner and toward us. "Blaine! Hey buddy! There you are!" Burt said softly, probably noticing the look I had on my face.

"I just told him what happened," Carole informed him.

"Have you seen him?" I asked Burt.

"No Blaine. Still running tests." Burt and I sighed, mine probably sounded whinier though.

Time seemed to pass by like the waiting of death, I think I fell asleep somewhere when I was waiting because I felt something shake me and I sat up hurriedly.

I saw a nurse standing beside Carole and Burt. "He's settled into a room and has woken up from unconsciousness but is now sleeping. He asked us to call a… Blaine Anderson?"

"Oh! I-I'm Blaine! Is this for Kurt?" I asked.

She nodded. "He wanted to see you… all throughout our tests and cleaning for him he kept asking for Blaine. We're sorry we can only let him see one visitor at a time for tonight because he panics and hyperventilates a lot. Would you like to see him first?" My breath caught in my throat. I turned to look at Burt and Carole. I still didn't know where the hell Finn is.

"Go ahead buddy. Tell us how it is," Burt said as he and Carole sat down again. I nodded thankfully and followed the nurse; she seemed to guide me to the back of the ER foyer to a hallway.

"How long can I see him?" I asked her.

"As long as he wants to see you; he is very stubborn so we're not sure," she replied, continuing to walk down the hallway.

I nodded. Yup, that sounds like Kurt. As happy as I was that I got to see him, one questions still scared me.

"What happened with his physical test?" I asked her.

"They came back positive. We're so sorry Blaine. If you could, please don't mention anything about his physical or sexual attack, unless he does. Like I said he hyperventilates a lot."

I just nodded at her as I followed her to an over-night room in the ER.

Positive.

Kurt was raped. My sweet Kurt… That's all I could think of as I walked to his room. I was starting to sweat as she opened the door. I peered in and saw him. He had a bandage across his stomach, bandages on his legs, monitors on his chest, and his face seemed to be covered with bruises. I wanted to cry so badly, but I needed to be strong for him.

"Try to wake him up Blaine, press the button on the side of his bed if he starts to cough up anything or hyperventilates, okay?" I nodded at her and she left.

I slowly walked to his bed after closing the door. He was asleep but his eyes seemed to be in a furrow, like he was worried. "Kurt?" I said softly, careful not to scare him. "Kurt wake up, baby. It's me… Blaine, your boyfriend." He didn't move. "Come on wake up sweetie. I want to talk to you. Wake up Kurt, it's me, Blaine."

Finally his eyebrows twitched and his eyes seemed heavy as they opened slowly. I quietly gasped seeing him wake up. The nurse kind of scared me with all of the talk of him being stubborn and having anxiety attacks. His blue eyes looked into mine and he relaxed. One of them had a black eye, but I didn't look at him differently. It's Kurt, and he's still beautiful to me. "Blaine?" his voice cracked.

"Yeah it's me baby. How are—How are you feeling?" I asked him.

He still stared at me with those gorgeous eyes, they started to swell up. "I'm in so much pain…I-it hurts so bad" he looked away from me, avoiding to look at me.

"I'm so sorry Kurt, I hate to see you in pain, I love you so much….I just I-I love you more than anything. Please don't cry." I tried my best to soothe him. I couldn't even imagine what kind of pain he is going through but I hate seeing him like this; so upset, so broken.

"I'm sorry. Can I have a tissue please?" he asked pitifully.

"Sure! Sure. Anything." I handed him a tissue from a Kleenex box nearby. He began wiping his tears up.

"Who told you?" he asked me.

"Um…Finn. He called me" I told him, wanting to hold his hand so bad, but I didn't want him to freak out.

"I knew you would come. I knew you would help me. He didn't believe me," Kurt said quietly.

"Um… who? Your doctor?" I asked, a little confused. He is speaking like he's deranged or something.

"No… no Blaine…_him_." And from the emotion from his voice, I knew who he was talking about: the bastard who did this to him. "He just kept…looking at laughing at me as he…" Kurt trailed off and started to break down into cries and my heart broke.

I did not want to hear the details of this story. At least not yet.

"Kurt please don't…" Out of instinct, I placed my thumb on his cheek to wipe away a tear and I hit a bruise.

"Ow!" he screeched.

"I-I'm sorry baby! I didn't—I didn't realize that—" and then I saw a terrifying thing. Kurt started screaming at the top of his lungs and flailing his arms everywhere, almost hitting me in the face.

"Ah! Stop it! Leave me alone! That hurts!" He just started yelling things and becoming out of breath. I immediately hit he button and tried to calm him down but it just made him worse. He grasped his chest and continued yelling.

Then I saw the nurse from earlier come in. "Kurt! Stop it!" she scolded him.

"Ah! Stop hurting me!" he screamed.

"Try to hold him down for me please?" she asked me, a little irritated.

I grabbed his little arms and tried to pin him to the bed. He then twisted his body from side to side and arched his back as his breaching sped up even more. She placed the brown bag over his mouth and talked to him calmly.

"Breathe, Kurt! Calm down… Breathe…In…Out…Listen to me. In and out…slowly…"

His eyes became more relaxed and his chest and stomach movements seemed to slow down but were still jerky. She then grabbed an oxygen mask and placed it on his mouth. I saw his stomach slow down and move normally. She then took it off his face. She looked at him and he looked away and then at me with an apologetic look.

"What happened this time?" she asked me. I was still trying to recover from the scene I just saw.

"I-I touched one of his bruises. I am so sorry. I was just trying to wipe a tear off his face. It won't happen again," I apologized to her in a rush.

"Kurt, look at me" she said sternly as she turned to look at him. He slowly looked at her like he was in trouble. Why is she being so mean to him? "Why wouldn't you listen to me?" she asked him.

Kurt's mouth was open and he began to stutter. "I-I'm sorry I-I couldn't help it. I just-I started to-"

"You started to _what_?" she interrupted him.

"See _him_," he replied quietly.

"Does Blaine remind you of…_him_?"

I realized the doctors and nurses communicated to Kurt, addressing his attacker as him with emphasizing, like Kurt was some sort of special needs kid. I guess they just didn't want him to freak out again.

"No! I don't know why I saw him! Blaine doesn't remind me of him," Kurt said quickly.

"Did he start doing this when you touched him?" she turned back to me

"…yes" I answered, a little scared to reply.

"Just don't touch him please. Especially his bruises. Kurt, next time I tell you to calm down and breathe you need to do that, okay? It will help these problems you're having." Kurt looked at her irritatingly. I could tell he didn't like being treated this way, like he was a freak. "Are you listening Kurt? Try to _listen_ to me or Blaine the next time you see him okay? We're going to help you with your problems."

"How many times do I have to tell you people this? I don't have problems! I almost died okay? I have every right to freak out when someone touches me or scares me! I'm not a freak!" he screamed.

"Lean back Kurt," she told him calmly.

"Quit telling me what to do!" he screamed again.

"Kurt… you need to listen to her, okay? She knows what she's talking about. I know it seems hard for you but please listen to her, for me?" I begged him.

"I don't have problems Blaine," he started to sob. He's starting to scare me, he's acting like he's pregnant.

"His emotions are going to be a little out of control for a while. He's on a lot of pain medicine. Don't worry he's speaking with a psychiatrist tomorrow," the nurse informed me, as if she could read my mind.

"I don't want to talk with a psychiatrist. I'm not crazy," Kurt sobbed.

"I've already talked to your parents about it." The nurse shrugged.

Kurt's cries died down as he glared at her. Okay, I had to admit, this was getting a little creepy. In a few seconds Kurt turned from helplessly sobbing to screaming again.

"I'm not crazy! I'm not talking to a crazy needs person! I'm normal and I want to be treated normally! I'm not talking to anyone like that!" he screamed.

She just looked at me quickly and then at him.

I could tell I am going to be in one hell of a ride with Kurt for a while.


	2. Chapter 2: The Aftermath

**A/N: Here is chapter two of Finding Courage! If you haven't read chapter one, I recommend you read that chapter first or you probably won't have any idea of what is going on. Unlike on the actual show (; THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION OF CHAPTER TWO. It still has the same story line, same dialogue, but easier to read and hopefully grammar free.**

**Warning! This chapter contains a small amount of cursing and a flashback of Kurt's attack. If the attack bothers you it's in **_**Italicized **_**so just ignore that part.**

**I also have realized that I did not do a disclaimer on the first chapter. My apologies! So here it is: **

**DISCLAIMER! I do not own Glee or any of the characters from the show! All rights go to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of the people who made this awesome show happen. **

**Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read. Now Enjoy (:**

Finding Courage

Chapter Two: The Aftermath

The next few days were absolute hell; for me and Kurt both that is. I couldn't stay with him over-night so I had to leave and report back to Burt and Carole. I felt so horrible that I got to see Kurt and they were stuck in that lonely, cold, waiting room only to hear the news that visiting hours were over and to go home. As mad as I thought they would be, they were really relieved that somebody got to see him and for me to tell them everything.

Every day after school, I went to see Kurt. I bought him a different bouquet of flowers every day to brighten up his room and to make him happy of course, until his nurse told me I had to stop. Kurt's doctor told me he had an infected wound by the deep cut in his stomach, fractured legs, and of course a black eye and bruises everywhere. His doctor told me he had bruises under his clothes too, but I couldn't see them for now. I really don't want to see them until he's ready for me too though.

Since Kurt panics whenever someone touches him and his legs are fractured, he is still in the over-night ER room. I have no idea when he'll be able to be transferred or if he ever will be. He still hasn't really talked about the attack more than what I got to hear when I first visited him. I understand he needs his space and he still hyperventilates and has sky-high emotions, but I don't know anything and I would really like to know _something._

One day I was eating lunch with him and we were watching his favorite show on T.V. A commercial came on for spouse abuse or something like that, and to call this number if you have or know anyone who is being abused.

His face became pale and he grabbed the remote saying "I think I've already seen this episode. Let's watch football, okay?"

Which is totally off, because I know he hates football. He's just doing this to avoid the topic of his attack. I kind of thought it was sweet that he wanted to watch football with me… but he can't avoid this forever right? He has to talk to me sometime…

I found out his nurse, the same woman I met that night, her name is Kelly Edwards and his doctor is Jason Villa. I see them so much they know me by name and offer me free food from the doctor's lounge.

One day I went to see him after school, and after saying hello to the receptionist on call, Mindy, and heard screaming from inside before I opened the door. I quickly opened it and he was sweating and tossing from side-to-side repeatedly, his bottom lip quivered, his chest and stomach were moving fast and jerky, and he kept screaming every couple of seconds. I rushed in and shook him.

"Kurt! Wake up! Wake up, Kurt!" He then stopped suddenly as he woke up and his eyes were huge. They were full of fear and humiliation. He took a quick glance at me and then looked down; away from me.

"Hey… hey it's okay Kurt. You had a nightmare," I spoke softly to him and kept my distance. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and rub his back so bad but I still couldn't touch him.

"It wasn't a nightmare. Because it was real at one time," he sighed, his voice breaking.

"Oh. Do you want to talk to me about it?" I asked him. He shook his head violently, still refusing to look at me. "Okay. Okay that's fine too. You can tell me when you're ready. Baby, you're sweating. Will the hospital let you take this gown off?"

"I don't want it off!" he screamed as he hugged the gown tight around him, like I was going to rip it off him or something. Which is something I would never do, I thought he knew me better than that.

"Okay. That's fine too, but you're gonna be really hot." I shrugged and sat in the chair slowly beside his bed, making sure I didn't move too fast for him.

"I'll be okay. I just need to…calm down I guess." He started fidgeting with the strings on his gown and sighed quietly. "Why are you so amazing to me?" he asked looking down in his lap.

"Um… what?" I didn't expect that.

"I don't deserve this. I just...I-I'm really uncooperative all the time and I should tell you things and I-I don't understand why your still with me."

"Well Kurt I love you. I love you so much and relationships can't always be filled with good things as much as I would like for it to. I want to be with you through everything Kurt. I know you're in an unstable place right now but I don't care, I just want to help you through it all. Even if it means I'm just sitting here spending time with you and doing what the doctors tell me to. Do I miss holding your hand and cuddling and kissing you? Yeah, I do, all the time. But you being safe and protected right now are more important."

Half way through my speech Kurt finally looked at me with those big, gorgeous, blue eyes of his. Almost like the time when we were at Dalton together and I confessed my feelings to him. "You love me that much?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Of course I do." I shook my head. He blushed and smiled. I love that innocent little smile, it's just so adorable.

"I-I've never had anyone care for me that much. Other than my dad of course." he shrugged a shoulder.

"Well now you do, and I'm never saying good-bye to you."

He smiled again, "I love you so much…um could you uh… this is stupid," he muttered.

"No it's not." I shook my head.

"Could you…hold my hand?" he asked nervously.

My breath caught in my throat. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I-I think it'll be okay. Just not anywhere else please."

"Sure, of course" I said and I gently took his hand in mine, watching his reaction closely. He smiled lovingly back at me and rubbed my hand with his thumb.

ooOOoo

Kurt's Nurse Kelly came in an hour later and saw us holding hands and talking. "Hey, you two! I see Kurt's made a little progress then, huh?" she asked as she jotted something down on her clipboard.

"A little, he still gets jumpy from time to time with fast movements," I said.

"Well good then. Kurt, would it be okay with you for us to move your visitors up to two at a time?" she asked him.

Kurt nodded.

"Okay, I know you will want to but we just have to try it out. If it doesn't work then you can only see one again, alright?" she asked him and jotted something else down on her clipboard. He nodded slowly. "Okay. Doctor Villa will be here in an hour to check on your wound and then your psychiatrist will be here—"

"I don't want to talk to a psychiatrist." Kurt looked at her with cold eyes.

She sighed, "I know you don't Kurt but—"

"Blaine is holding my hand with no problem! Isn't that progress?"

"Yes it is but would you be okay if he touched your stomach right now? Or your legs?"

"No!" Kurt yelled, dropping my hand and moving away from me.

"See? You're not in a sane state right now. You need professional help with your mental problems," she explained to him.

Kurt flinched a little when she said the word "problems" and then snapped at her. I could tell it was mostly his hormonal imbalance talking though.

"So why don't you just put me in a mental institution then? Lock me up in there and treat me like an insane person? Oh wait, you already do that!"

Silence fell over the room.

Kelly looked at Kurt calmly as his hands were shaking with rage. "Doctor Villa will be here in an hour Kurt. Please behave properly for him."

"I'm not a child! I can't help my emotions! You all put me through this!" Kurt yelled at her as she left the room. I sighed as he stayed in his position on the other side of the bed, avoiding looking at me. "I thought I was getting better," he said quietly.

"I know sweetie but you can't help your emotions. It's not your fault that you yell or cry unpredictably, it's this damn medicine."

"Then _why_ do I need it?"

"Kurt if you were on zero pain medicine you would be in so much pain all you would want to do is sleep."

"But I'm already in a lot of pain," he whined and laid his head back on the bed.

"And could you imagine the pain you're in right now ten times worse?" I asked him, he looked at me and sighed, knowing I had a point.

"I just don't want to see a psychiatrist. We can do this together Blaine; you can help me get better. I don't need no damn psychiatrist to tell me how I feel and what my…my _problem_ is." he rolled his eyes at the word "problem".

"Kurt, listen to me. What happened to you… is what put you in this condition. Yes baby, I will help you as much as I can. But I don't know much about anxiety and panic attacks. This psychiatrist will help you and then you won't have to see _him_ eventually. Don't you want that? Don't you want these flashbacks and panic attacks and hyperventilating to stop?"

"Yeah but I don't have a _problem._"

"Kurt you need to accept that after this… you won't be the same again. But we will try to help you get back to a peace of mind again and it can be done. But you have to accept that you are in an unstable condition, okay?"

Kurt nodded, as much as he didn't want to believe what I said. Sometimes, Kurt is just so damn stubborn.

ooOOoo

Doctor Villa came into the room and greeted us. He came beside Kurt and set down a brown paper bag and readied the oxygen mask. Part of Villa's job is to touch Kurt while he looked at his body and his wound so I guessed Kurt will be hyperventilating and panicking a lot.

"Blaine?" Kurt looked at me.

"Yeah?" I asked, grabbing his hand, but he jerked it back to his side. I assumed he was scared but at least he didn't yell.

"Could you leave, please? I don't want you to see this"

I nodded understandingly and left. I stood outside the room and it was quite for a while then I heard Kurt screaming. Doctor Villa was probably un-buttoning his gown. I wanted to run in there and help him in some way, get him to calm down and comfort him.

But I just had to stand here and hear Kurt scream like bloody murder. I swore I heard Kurt scream and cry in desperation fifteen times during the amount of time I stood outside the room.

I was so heartbroken, he sounded like he was being beaten repeatedly. Which in his flashbacks, he was. All I could do was stand there and hear him cry and become out of breath. Finally, Doctor Villa let me in and Kurt's eyes were red like he had been crying. He sniffed as he sat quietly, his head down, like he was ashamed.

"Is he okay?" I asked Doctor Villa.

"Oh yeah, he's fine. He's just been having his usual panic attacks and hyperventilating again. His wound still doesn't look too good. The attacker used an infected weapon so we've been giving him medicine for the bacteria in his system but it still has the same color. It's a very large wound so it will probably take longer to heal. You need to see a psychiatrist Kurt."

Doctor Villa looked at him sternly. "And keep taking your medication. You don't know how much a wound like that could hurt, it's quite deep"

Kurt just nodded pitifully "Can I still see my dad with Blaine tonight when he gets off work?" Kurt asked uncomfortably. Kurt hasn't been able to see his dad yet for the few days he's been in the hospital. When Kelly said he could try to have two visitors at a time he immediately picked me and Burt.

"We'll have to see. It depends how your appointment goes with the psychiatrist." Kurt nodded.

"I'm sorry" he apologized, ashamed.

"It's not your fault, we're not punishing you. You'll be able to see him soon," Dr. Villa reassured him.

"Do you want me to leave when your dad gets off work so your one visitor can be your dad?" I asked Kurt.

"No Blaine, I need you here. Please don't go until visiting hours are over," Kurt pleaded.

"Okay. If that's what you want."

Kurt nodded.

ooOOoo

After the psychiatrist appointment, I could tell Kurt seemed relieved although he was too stubborn to admit it.

"How did it go?" I asked him.

"Fine," Kurt replied lowly.

"I got you a non-fat mocha." I set down his coffee by his bed.

His face lit up and took it, "Thank you Blaine" he said, taking a sip.

"No problem" I replied, watching him drink. "Hey, your dad got off work fifteen minutes ago. He should be here any minute," I informed him.

"Great. I've missed him."

"I know you have" I nodded. "I'll be right back" I squeezed his hand carefully. I left to go to the restroom and on my way back I saw Burt in the waiting room, talking to the receptionist:

"Yeah, I'm here to visit my son, Kurt Hummel. I'm Burt Hummel," I heard him say.

"Oh yes! _There's_ Blaine, could you show him where your boyfriend's room is?" Mindy asked me, typing something away on the computer.

"Sure! I was just going in there anyway," I said and took off to Kurt's room, Burt close behind me. We stopped at his door and I stood in-front of Burt. "Now we have to walk slowly. He gets nervous with fast movements and also yelling" I assured him before opening the door.

"Got it" he nodded. I opened the door and grinned at Kurt. He smiled back at me and then he saw Burt. He looked happy at first but then his eyes grew wide and his chest shook with jerky movements.

"Oh no…crap" I breathed out.

"What is it?" Burt panicked.

Then Kurt arched his back and let out a scream.

~Kurt's P.O.V. ~

I could feel it. I saw dad walk in and I've never been happier but then the room grew dark and I saw him walk towards me, not alone. He was with the other guys who also beat me up that night…I could vaguely hear Blaine and my dad but their voices grew quiet.

_My head was forced against my car and I felt him pull my hair. I arched my back and screamed. He just laughed at me. I closed my eyes and imagined the pain to go away. _

_I heard "Get 'em, boys!" and I felt hits come to my body. Sharp pain rang through me from all sides. I opened my eyes and saw three large, strong, men pounding into me like they were trying to tenderize meat. I couldn't take it, I wanted to fall to the ground and crawl somewhere but he was pulling me up straight by my hair. _

_It hurt so bad I began to cry and mumble. "B-Bl—"_

"_What is it, faggot? You want a black eye?" and I felt a punch come to my face. _

_I screamed loudly and sobbed. "Blaine…" I whispered, or so I thought. _

"_Who's Blaine? Your little sex toy? He's not going to save you! He only wants you for one thing! And it's the same thing we're going to do to you! Pull his pants down, Fred."_

**Review Replies from Chapter One:**

**Sarahamanda: **_Thank you! I wrote the first chapter in like an hour but this one took longer. I look forward to your reaction on the chapter two! Klaine and rainbows!_

**Candy Criss: **_from the flashback showing the attacker is most likely not Sebastian. But we will hear from the attacker very soon. Klaine and rainbows!_

**Duncan-Gwen-Roxx: **_Thank you! _


	3. Chapter 3: The Leftovers

**A/N: Okay so I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter of this story SO FAR. And to let all of you know who is confused about the time frame of this story, it is set after "Born this Way". Kurt is at McKinley and Blaine goes to Dalton. So late season twoish .This chapter has a lot to do with a part of Kurt's rape. So you'll have to read to see what I am talking about (; there is a portion of the story with texting from Blaine and Kurt. I doubt you will but just in case you get confused, Blaine's is in BOLD and Kurt's is ****underlined.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GLEE OR ITS CHARACTERS! ALL PROPERTY GOES TO FOX, RYAN MURPHY, AND THE REST OF ITS OWNERS!**

**WARNING: Contains swearing, mentions and a flashback of a sexual attack (The sexual attack is in **_**Italicized **_**if you want to ignore reading it**_**) **_

**Enjoy! (:**

Finding Courage

Chapter Three: The Leftovers

Oh God, Kurt is panicking again. I felt so sorry for him, I know it's because me, Burt, and his nurse are in here at the same time, and now he won't get to see his dad. Kurt started hyperventilating as Kelly helped him breathe through the bag. She then told Burt to step out of the room. I watched Kurt cry as he tried to re-assemble himself together. Kelly kept saying things to him like "Stop crying Kurt," and "Steady your breathing."

After she took the oxygen mask off of him he looked around the room with red eyes, "Where's dad?" he asked us.

"Kurt it looks like you're still not going to be able to have two visitors at a time," Kelly told him. "Why?" Kurt's eyes started to gleam.

"Honey, you started hyperventilating again. We need to get you in a sane state of mind before you can have two visitors," Kelly said as she was eye-level with him and tried to work up a smile.

"But…but I _want_ to see him. I want to see my dad. This isn't fair." Kurt looked at her in disbelief.

"Kurt I can go and then you can see him, okay?" I offered softly to him. I noticed he was on the edge of emotions right now and we needed to talk quietly to him.

"But I don't want you to go Blaine. You make me feel better. It's so hard to sleep at night when I know you're not here—" he started rambling off and sniveling.

"Baby, don't you want to see your dad? You haven't seen him in four days." He nodded in reply. "You can see him as long as you want and then I can come right back in, okay? I'll wait in the waiting room. Or if you want to see him as long as visiting hours last, I can just see you tomorrow."

"No I want to see you before I sleep," he said.

"Okay. Then that's what we'll do. I know how bad you want to see him. Alright, sweetie? How about we do that?" I smiled at his disappointed face.

"Okay. I'll miss you." Kurt sighed sadly.

"I'll miss you too. Let me bring him in here," I said then left the room.

Burt was still standing outside the door. "What the hell was that about?" Burt asked me.

"He has these. . ._problems_. . .panic attacks. Whenever someone touches him, he sees too many people or there are fast movements. I think he has flashbacks and it kind of blocks him out from what's really going on. I don't know, it's weird but he starts to hyperventilate and he just let me hold his hand today," I explained to him and he nodded.

"I don't understand. . . What does numerous people have to do with it? Was there . . .more than one person to . . . Do _this_ to him?"

"I don't know. I don't really know anything," I shrugged. ",but he really wants to see you so for now he can see just you until he wants you to leave and we'll swap out I guess," I said.

He nodded, "Anything I need to know?"

"Don't walk too fast when you first open the door and sit down slowly. Don't touch him, like _anywhere. _Don't do anything too fast or "jerky". Don't talk to him about the attack unless he brings it up and his emotions are all over the place because of all this medicine they give him so if he cries un-controllably or screams like a crazy person it's mostly the medicine giving him weird emotions," I told him.

"Whoa. That's a lot." Burt breathed out.

"Yeah, it's messed up. I really miss Kurt," I sighed.

"He's right in there, kiddo." Burt tried to assure me.

"Yeah but I mean . . . before all this started. I guess I just. . . miss things the way they used to be." I looked down at my shoes. Man, I need to get some shoe laces.

"You know they say that you never know what you got until it's gone. Now I'm not saying Kurt is going to be like this forever. . . but we need to give this time. Whatever _happened_. . . was traumatic and humiliating for him. Even if we have to treat him like a mental patient. . . because he probably almost is. . . he will get better."

I smiled at Burt and a real smile too. Not a smile I've had to fake at this hospital for who knows how long. Some people may say Burt has the academically eligible brain of a monkey, but he knows what he's talking about with stuff like this. I wish I had a dad like Burt; he just cares about Kurt so damn much.

"Okay. Let me know what happens." I worked up a smile and nodded to the door. He smiled back and I saw him disappear in Kurt's room.

I really didn't want to stand there and wait for who knows how long so I walked into the waiting room and saw Mindy eating her dinner in-front of the computer. I stood there leaning against the counter and she looked at me suspiciously. "You need something, Blaine?" she asked me nicely.

"No… No, I'm just waiting for Burt to visit Kurt." I glanced in the direction I just came from.

"I guess the two visitor thing didn't go so well then?" she frowned.

I sucked in a big breath and sighed, "Nope. He still has _problems_. It's—its crazy but I thought when I could hold his hand again that. . . _some_how. . . he was having progress. And then it would feel normal again. But then I saw that. It just brought me back to the first time I saw him here. It just feels so. . . so hopeless."

"You really love him don't you?" she smiled at me.

"Of course," I shrugged.

"Look Blaine, I know you're not gonna believe me but he's _going_ to get better. He isn't the first person to go through this." she shook her head and took another bite of a chicken sandwich. "What do you mean?" I asked her.

"I mean that panic and anxiety attacks aren't a new discovery. I've seen people go through things like Kurt has and have been able to live through it. . . and get back to a peaceful state of mind again. They just need to find that thing that has helped them before." She brought me back to a day at Dalton when I met Kurt, and then we had coffee later. I remembered that single word I texted him later. He told me that helped him confront Karofsky.

"Like…courage?" I asked her.

"Like courage, or happy memories, conversations. . . anything, with a psychiatrist and _you_ to help him. . . I know he'll get through this." Mindy grinned and took another sip of her drink. "Thank you Mindy," I said.

"No problem. Just telling you what I've seen, it's kind of my job." she winked.

It was an hour until visiting hours were over and I saw Burt walk into the waiting room. I had just finished a song I wrote for Kurt when I saw him walk over to my chair. I folded my notebook and stood up. "Well…how did it go?" I asked him.

"He was. . . its pitiful." Burt shrugged, trying to find the right words.

"I know," I nodded. ", did he talk to you about anything?" I asked him.

"He told me he's been having nightmares at night and having trouble sleeping. And he told me that there was. . . _more_ than one person that did this to him." More? Oh god, please don't tell me it was a gang attack. I sucked in a nervous breath.

"He didn't tell me that. How many?" I asked.

"Four," Burt answered uncomfortably. I felt sick and nauseated again.

"Oh my god. How did you get him to tell you that?" my eyes widened out of shock and honestly, a little jealousy. I wish Kurt could tell me something.

Burt shook his head, "I don't know it was silent. We hadn't said anything for about 10 minutes. I had the news on and he just spoke up and told me. He said 'there were four' and I got him to explain what he meant."

"I can't believe it. The first time he sees you he tells you something about his attack but he won't tell me anything? Does he not. . . does he not trust me?" I started to get scared and a little nervous on top of my jealousy.

"Blaine don't say that. He's known me his whole life, maybe he just don't know how you'll react or something."

"But he _knows_ me! Sometimes I feel like he can read my mind!" I almost yelled but I tried to control myself. There were times when Kurt and I were dating. I would just about to lean over and kiss him and he'd lean over and kiss me. Then he'd say "beat you to it" with that diva smile of his. God, now I really want to kiss him.

"I know kiddo. He'll tell you something. It's only a matter of time. Now go on in there. He wants to see you before he goes to sleep."

I sighed, "Okay. See you later Burt."

"Alright, kiddo. Drive safely!" I nodded and waved at Burt. Then I went into Kurt's room. He looked up from a notepad and his face lit up.

"Hey babe. What you doing?" I slowly walked to his bed.

"Just drawing." he showed me a sketch of a room on his notepad. Could he be more adorable? "What's that?" I asked him, sitting by his bed.

"The library in my dream house." he grinned, showing it to me.

I grinned back at him, "It looks great."

"I'm not finished yet," he giggled.

"Do you want me to stay until visiting hours are over?" I asked him. Kurt's bright blue eyes met mine in an apologetic glance.

"I'm sorry to say this but I'm really tired. I might tell Kelly to turn the lights off in here early tonight." he grabbed my hand.

"That's fine with me. I guess I'll just go then? See you tomorrow baby."

"Wait!" he exclaimed as I began to stand up.

"Hmm?" I asked him, turning around. He bit his lip and looked at me nervously.

"Could you. . . kiss me goodnight?" My heart started to beat extremely fast.

"On the. . . on your lips?" I asked him.

"Yes. But just don't touch me, except for my hand."

"Okay" I nodded, taking his hand. I looked into his blue eyes as I slowly leant in, just to make sure he was okay with this. His slender lips parted and his eyes began to close. I could almost feel that he was ready for this. I knew he was waiting as long for this as I had. I felt his breath against my lips. Then I felt an excitement deep in my stomach; I almost forgot what that feels like. I closed our small distance and kissed him slowly and sweetly. He breathed out a little high-pitch noise of relief. It was so sweet. Our kiss ended and I looked at him carefully.

He smiled at me, "Goodnight, Blaine. I love you."

"Good night Kurt, I love you too," I said, squeezing his hand and giving him one last peck on the lips.

That night was actually really weird. The whole drive home I had this giddy feeling. I kissed him! He actually let me kiss him and hold his hand in one day! I tried to remember the taste of his lips as much as possible but sadly it just wasn't the same. I un-locked the door and locked it back then stumbled through the dark house trying to find my room. I stripped my clothes off and as I was just about to pull some P.J's on and jump into bed, my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen, it was from Kurt. I smiled to myself as I opened it. But then it read:

I am so sorry.

Sorry? What the hell is he apologizing about? I texted him back:

**What do you mean sorry?**

I'm sorry I wanted you to kiss me. It won't happen again. I promise

**Kurt this is silly. I don't understand. Do you not want me to kiss you?**

No you don't want to

**Of course I do. Did I give any signs of not wanting to? If I did I should be apologizing.**

No I mean that nobody wants leftovers. You're so amazing and you don't deserve me. You don't deserve leftovers. I'm sorry Kelly is making me stop texting you and I need sleep. You don't have to see me if you don't want to tomorrow.

_You don't deserve leftovers_ is all that I got out of that text. Leftover from what? Is he talking about the attack...? Because he's never and I mean _never_ mentioned that he's "leftovers" before the attack. As confused as I was, I just tried to push Kurt's crazy texts out of my head and go to sleep. I am definitely talking to him about this tomorrow.

The next day I went to the ER and was going to check in with Mindy like usual before heading to Kurt's room. When Mindy looked up and saw me, sadness was shown on her face, "I'm sorry Blaine, but you can't visit Kurt today." Oh god. What happened to him now? I thought he was improving.

"What do you mean I can't visit him?" I asked worriedly.

"He requested to take your name off of the visitors list," she sighed.

"What?" I shouted. Can he even do that?

"Calm down Blaine." Mindy glared at me with wide eyes after she glanced around the waiting room.

"How dare he do that! I have been here every day for almost a week until visiting hours trying to help him and he takes me name off of the visiting list? Does he have a reason?" I'm sure I sounded like a crazy person; I practically yelled this to poor Mindy.

"He said something about you two did something last night that he knew you didn't agree with and he didn't want you to see him because he doesn't. . . _deserve_ you? I don't know it was weird." she shrugged. Last night was weird too. Wait, did he take my name off the list because I kissed him?

"Oh my god this is insane." I sighed.

"Oh, is it a misunderstanding then?" Mindy smiled hopefully at me.

"Yes." I shook my head.

"What happened?"

"He finally worked up the nerve to ask me to kiss him. We kissed and it was great and then I left and went home and then he texted me saying I don't deserve leftovers and he apologized for asking me to kiss him," I explained.

Mindy's eyebrows rose and scrunched together, "Here let me call Kelly. She's probably in Kurt's room right about now." After a short conversation and a couple minutes later, I saw Kelly come from the hallway. She smiled at me as she handed a clipboard to Mindy.

"Hey Blaine! You and Kurt have a couple spat?"

I laughed, "No he's just being…weird. Can I please see him? I need to talk to him."

"Sure. He's so crazy." she laughed and I walked behind her as she led the way to Kurt's room. "Stay here for a minute," she said, placing a hand on my chest.

She walked in and kept the door open just enough for me to see him. I saw Kurt lying on the bed watching T.V. "Hey Kurt." Kelly stood in-front of Kurt's bed. I couldn't really see him anymore, just her back side. "Hi," I heard him say.

"Blaine's here."

"He is?"

"He _sure_ is."

"I don't want to see him," I heard him say quietly.

"Are you mad at him?"

"No…"

"Is he mad at you?"

"…No"

"Well then what? Because he wants to talk to you."

"Why would he want to do that?"

"Kurt he loves you more than anything. That boy is crazy in love with you." Kelly walked around to his hospital bed. I saw him smile and say, "I know, I'm in love with him too."

"Then what's the problem?"

"He hasn't seen these!" I saw him open his gown and then I saw it: Horrific marks all over his chest and stomach from what I could see. I couldn't see much detail but I saw a whole lot of purple and blue, maybe a handprint or two if I looked close enough. Then I heard a sobbing sound that I knew all too well as he lowered his head.

"Kurt, pull your gown together please. Are you saying that he is going to stop loving you when he sees your other bruises?"

"I'm so messed up Kelly. What if these never go away? He won't be able to look at me the same anymore. I'm such a. . . such a freak." He sobbed as he pulled together his gown, covering the bruises.

"Kurt your psychiatrist said to not believe anything he told you."

"I know but—"

"No buts Kurt, if anyone is the freak it was him. Now Blaine really wants to talk to you. He may change your mind, okay?" I saw Kelly walk closer to me and I moved back. The door opened and Kelly nodded at me then left. I took a deep breath and waiting a couple of seconds before entering. "Hi," I said nervously, walking in.

"Hi." Kurt nodded, looking away from me.

I breathed deeply before I spoke what I thought needed to be said: "I love you." He shook his head. "You don't believe me do you? I don't think you understand how much I love you." I walked slowly to his bedside.

"Blaine please I don't want to go that far." Kurt said worriedly.

"No. No, I'm not talking about that. I just want to talk to you," I looked at his face slowly turn to look at me before I continued ", remember that day where I said that you moved me and that I've been looking for you forever?"

"Yeah…" He nodded with a blush on his face.

"I didn't say that just to make me sound like a cliché romantic and to make your heart swoon." "Although it did…" he blushed again. God, he is so adorable.

I chuckled, "I said that because I meant it. Now I don't really understand what you told me last night but. . . you are the best thing that has ever happened to me." I looked into his bright blue eyes.

"Better than the King's Island Christmas Spectacular?" he grinned as I laughed.

"Way better. You are the love of my life Kurt and I never want to lose you. Now I know that you've always been insecure about yourself but I think you're perfect to me. I couldn't ask for a smarter, funny, stylish, talented, and a more _beautiful_ boyfriend than you," his eyes widened in shock as I said that ", do you know what makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning? Your texts. I love being that person in your contacts list that you send the most texts too. So for whatever reason you feel that you're not good enough or you feel like your leftovers… Just know that I don't see that when I think of you. When I think of you I see that you're perfect to me and _nothing_ can change that, okay? That's why I say I love you." I looked into his wide eyes.

"I…I'm sorry and I don't understand." He shrugged.

"Its okay baby and what don't you understand?" I slowly took his hand and encouragingly rubbed it with my thumb.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt asked, watching my thumb then looking up at me.

"Sure." I shrugged, although he could just ask me without permission anyway.

"If we ever… _you know_," I almost giggled because of the way Kurt refers to sex sometimes ", It's going to be about love right? Not because I'm your…your…sex toy?" he looked carefully at me.

"Of course it's gonna be about love. Who told you that you're my sex toy anyway?" I asked him. Where does Kurt come up with these insane ideas?

"Um…It was uh…" his voice started to shake and he avoided eye contact.

I sighed, "It was _him_, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Kurt choked.

"Look at me baby. Look at me. That man is a twisted, sick, perverted ass hole. He doesn't know _anything_ about us. You didn't believe him did you?" Kurt shrugged. Wow, he believed him. "Did you believe anything he told you?" He shrugged again, still not giving me a helpful answer. "Did you believe _every_thing he told you?" Kurt looked at me with teary eyes.

"I—I'm sorry Blaine I—" I sighed, I shouldn't have pressured him so much, I hope he doesn't hyperventilate again.

"No, I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I nodded at him.

"No I do, I want to…I think." He sighed.

"Your psychiatrist Meghan will be here in about fifteen minutes. Why don't you ask her if you're okay to tell me something, alright?" I offered. I really didn't want him to tell me if he wasn't ready. I want to try everything in my power to stop any unnecessary panic attacks. "Okay." Kurt nodded sadly.

Kurt's Point of View.

She asked me the usual questions. How many times I had panic attacks, when I had them, what I saw, and how long Kelly told me they lasted. She then looked at my journal I kept for her and told me to repeat a few sentences she felt I should say about myself. Then I asked her the question Blaine asked me to: "How am I doing?"

"What do you mean, Kurt?" she smiled at me.

"With my… _problems_" I still couldn't get used to that horrendous word.

"Well you have improved. Your flashbacks are shorter in number and time. How do you think you're doing?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. Last night I asked Blaine to kiss me and he did." Meghan smiled when I told her he kissed me and she wrote something down.

"Oh. How did that go?" she asked me.

"It was amazing, but then I remembered some things _he_ told me and out of panic I texted Blaine and then I kept trying to believe what _he_ told me." I got nervous and fidgeted with my ugly gown.

"And what did he say?" Damn. I knew she was going to ask that. I took a slow, deep, breath.

"When he was… raping…me… He told me I could never make love to anyone because no one wants leftovers," another deep breath ", and he kept telling me that as he…got another one of the guys to…kiss me."

"Thank you for telling me that Kurt" she smiled encouragingly. She probably could tell I had a hard time telling that, which I did, because I don't even know this woman. Then I asked her the question I was dying to know the answer to:

"So do you think my problems are getting worse?"

"No they are just being put out there. What you need to do is tell me what you told Blaine. You had no problem telling me, right?" I nodded. "I think if you tell him he will understand why you were upset and you won't keep that memory bottled up inside. You will be surprised how much stress will leave your mind and body when you tell someone that loves you as much as Blaine does." I nodded again.

"Should I tell him more than that then?" I asked.

"Only if you feel like you should. Next time Blaine comes, make sure you tell him though. Alright?" I nodded. "Okay then, did you have any more questions?" I shook my head. "Okay. See you in a couple of days." She left my room and I waited for Blaine to return. I couldn't wait to tell him. I've been sleepy all day since last night; I couldn't get much sleep from my conversation with Blaine. As I waited I must have dozed off…

"_Ow! Oh… that hurts!" I felt rough fingers force its way inside me. This is not how I imagined sex would be like. But then again… will sex be like this? The pamphlets I read said that gay sex hurts a lot the first time. My stomach was bent over the back seat, my pants were around my ankles and I'm sure my butt was exposed to the whole parking lot. I cried from humiliation and pain. "Ha ha look at him squirm! He's so turned on and disgusting!"I felt him add another finger forcefully. "Ow!" I screamed loud. "Gag him, Jimmy." I heard then a disgusting sock was lodged into my mouth. I'm pretty sure it was used. The disgusting odor was enormous, I began to gag. "Listen to him gag! The little girl!_

"_I think he's ready. What do you think?" I tried to scream "No!" but I was gagged. I moved about trying to not bear the horrible pain I knew was coming. "Listen faggot I know you're exited but keep still! This is your punishment! Now listen to me fag. After I fuck you, you are going to be sore for a week. I'll make sure of it. And no one...and I mean no one will want you. Especially your sex toy Plain, Bane, Blaine…whatever. He'll find another fag to fuck. Because nobody wants a pathetic, useless, leftover."_

Chapter Reviews from Chapter Two:

**Setsunai: **Yes it will be sad for a while but you'll see how Blaine and Kurt learn to deal with Kurt's "problems" and thank you!

**miroku girl15: **Sorry about that you have probably already noticed but I confirmed the time frame of the story in this chapter's beginning author's note. Thanks for the grammar advice! I have accepted your constructive criticism and please let me know of any other problems I may have caused in this chapter but I have rearranged the way the chapter flows according to the basic grammar rules. But thanks! Enjoy this chapter!

**Candy Criss: **Este capítulo confirmará sí cuántos hombres atacaron a Kurt. Diré esto: No son de McKinley alto. ¡Si usted continúa leyendo esta historia, el ' s del atacante y su razón de hacer esto a Kurt serán revelados (si atacar a una persona inocente tiene nunca una razón) sino agradecerle! ¡Disfrute del nuevo capítulo! I el hallazgo del ' t del couldn un traductor de Espanish pero yo encontró un traductor español. Déjeme saber si usted tiene apuro que lee mi traducción en español. Pero si usted pone el ' t entonces continuaré utilizando esta traducción en su revisión contesto (:

**Sarahamanda: **Thank you! Here's an update!

**A/N: Thanks for reading! So Blaine has written a song for Kurt, eh? Maybe soon will get to hear it(; Also we will hear from Blaine's reaction to Kurt telling him a memory from his rape. Also if you have favorite this story or added "Finding Courage" to your story alert, please review on this chapter. I would love to know your thoughts. Reviews are my only way of knowing. So… please review! I will update soon! (:**


	4. Chapter 4: The Unfortunate Story

**A/N: Chapter Four of Finding Courage is up! This chapter is ENTIRELY told by Kurt's Point Of View. In this chapter, we will find out what all happened to Kurt and how both of them takes it. After this chapter we will get no more point of view from Kurt unless there is something I felt is needed to be told by Kurt's point of view like a certain flashback or something. Blaine will continue with the next chapter and probably the remainder of this story. **

**Warning! Klaine hand jobs and a heated make-out session, sexual assault, physical assault told by a character. **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All copyright goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and whoever else! Totally don't own.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Four: The Unfortunate Story

This week has been the worst week of my life. I thought that Tuesday night was going to be the highlight of my week. I was going to make my chicken parmesan dish for the Hudson-Hummel's until I noticed we were running low on cheese and garlic. I thought I could take a quick trip to the "Piggly Wiggly" down the road, make dinner, and then Blaine would come over after and we could watch a movie in my room. Or maybe put a movie on and not watch it if you know what I mean. But no, four, large, unfamiliar men had to steal my keys and destroy the groceries I just brought and then beat me up and rape me in my car. And now I've been in this cold, gloomy hole called an over-night ER room. Seeing Blaine is the highlight of my day. I know I stink and I look gross because I haven't showered but he doesn't seem to care. It has been a full week. Today is Monday and I couldn't wait to tell Blaine what I needed to tell him. This is going to feel great. All day I doodled in my note book and watched T.V, then my nurse Kelly bathed me and washed my hair which was very humiliating, although I don't remember much of it because I had panic attacks mostly the whole time. But at least I'm clean now.

An episode of "America's Next Top Model" came off and the door opened. "Hey sweetie." Blaine entered wearing his Dalton uniform.

"Hi." I smiled at him before he gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"What you doing?" he asked, sitting slowly beside me.

"Oh, I was just watching T.V. Listen Blaine; I want to tell you everything," I said, turning off the T.V.

"Huh?" he arched one of his adorable, bushy eyebrows.

"About the attack" I breathed out nervously.

"Kurt you don't have to—"

"I know I don't _have_ to. I want to Blaine, I _need_ to. It's going to help me." I looked deeply into his hazel eyes, hoping he could understand how much this means to me, and to our relationship.

"So you want to tell me everything then?"

"Yes. Could you please not touch me or say anything until I'm finished?"

"Sure! Whatever you want." He shrugged.

"Okay…as you probably know I went to the store to get some groceries for a meal I was making a week ago. I left the store and I was walking to my car. Out of nowhere…I saw four, large men I have never seen before walk up to me. One was the leader because he walked in front of them and told them what to do. One guy pushed me on the ground and then another guy stole my keys and the last one grabbed my bag of groceries and threw them in the road.

"They all did that when the leader was just looking at me smiling. I knew something was up. I was on the pavement and I thought they would do nothing more than steal my car but then the leader picked me up by my head and forced me to stand up against my car. I started to say what do you want from me but then he pulled on my hair so much that he lifted my chin. I was screaming, because it hurt and because I wanted someone to hear me. I tried closing my eyes to imagine the pain to go away but then I heard someone laughing and the leader said something like get 'em boys.

"That's when they started hitting me. They punched me, slapped me, pulled at my skin… everywhere. Because three different ones were doing it while the leader still held me up by my hair. I wanted to fall to the ground and hide somewhere but I couldn't… I tried to think of a safe place. I was thinking of you; you and me at home just talking, because it would feel so much better than what they were doing to me." I saw a sad smile on Blaine's face and tears started to form in his eyes as I continued with my story.

"I guess I tried to think of you too much because I started to say your name and then the leader punched me and gave me this black eye which is almost gone. I cried louder when he did that because I knew I'd been crying. They were still punching me and then I said your name and they stopped. I guess _he_ made them stop. Then he asked who you were and told me that…that you're my sex toy and you didn't care about me…and that you wouldn't save me. Then he told one of the guy's names…his name was Fred, to pull my pants down." I could feel my voice getting jumpy when I told Blaine about them pulling my pants down. But it's just so hard not to cry when I think about it, because all of the memories and unbearable pain come rushing back to me.

"I screamed for them not to and he actually agreed with me then he let go of my hair and I finally fell to the ground. I never felt so happy in that attack than when he stopped pulling my hair. But then they started kicking me. They kicked my legs, my stomach, my chest, even my groin a few times. Then the leader pushed me against the tire of my car and lifted my shirt up to my throat so they could kick me better. I don't remember how long that went on but I could feel kicks, slaps, and more punches.

"Then I felt one of them twist my nipples really hard and I screamed loud and closed my eyes. Then I heard someone gasp. I tried to turn my head and look but the guy finally let go of my nipples and slapped me to look the other way. It must have been a shopper; she must have been who called the police. I saw one guy un-lock my car and I thought for sure that they were going to steal it and drive away but then they threw me across the backseat and the leader took out a… a _knife_." I felt tears down my face; damn I'm sobbing now explaining this story. I tried to look at Blaine as much as I could but he was sobbing too. So I just forgot about our humiliation and we cried together.

"My stomach was still trying to cover from the bruises when he cut me across. And Blaine I can't even express into words how bad that hurt it felt like I was dying and the worse cutting experience someone could ever imagine." I said taking his warm hand. Oh, I love that hand.

"That's when they fractured my legs. I heard a crack and I cried out after feeling pain in my legs and when I looked up one of the guys were hitting my legs with this huge crow bar. I have no idea where he found it. He kept hitting my legs with it until they just felt numb then the leader said 'don't break them, just fracture' When I heard them say that I guessed that they have done this to other people before.

"Then…that's when _he_ reached for my pants and underwear and pulled them down to my ankles. I screamed out trying to get some help because I was so embarrassed. I mean he was looking at something I only wanted you to look at it, and I also knew what was going to happen next. But they kept slapping me every time I screamed so I just settled for crying. He kept touching me and squeezing me, and then he flipped me over and started to force his fingers inside me. The blood from my stomach is probably still on my car's seats. I kept trying to tell him it hurts and to stop. I tried to have courage you know?" I looked at my loving boyfriend while holding his hand. He nodded with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I then thought that every kind of sex I would have would be like that. He would get different guys to hate-kiss me. It was disgusting, and he kept yelling things at me when he jammed his fingers in me like 'you're a freak', 'your ugly', 'you're a disgusting faggot' and 'your dick is small'."

"No it's not." Blaine interrupted me. Oh god Blaine, please don't mention that right now. I know we've jerked each other off before and you've felt me but please…I need to finish this story. It's almost over.

"Blaine…" I warned him blushing.

"Sorry. Go ahead. " Blaine tried to smile.

"Then they started laughing at me because I was in pain and I screamed really loud so they gagged me with this really smelly, used sock. Then he _thought_ I was ready and he told me that nobody would want a leftover like me…and that's when he raped me. He forced himself in me and it hurt _so_ badly.

"He kept _jamming_ himself in me and dragging his nails on me and telling me that now I'm used and I'm a left over and then I just felt like dying, it hurt so badly. I was crying and trying to scream with that gag in my mouth and I knew he was bruising me inside and he probably tore something in there because it just felt like hell. Then I heard sirens and his _helpers_ scrammed. Before he left he whispered in my ear: 'that was my property'" I looked at Blaine and he had a face that showed horror, upset, and shock. "That's it Blaine."

Blaine's face was soaked with tears and his eyes looked red. I felt guilty but I just continued to hold his hand. "Oh my god." Was all he could say when I finished.

"Yeah, it was the worst thing I ever could have experienced." I sobbed.

"I really want to hug you but I don't want you to ever think of that again. I'm just… I'm _so_ glad you told me but now I just want to find them and make sure they die a slow and painful death. Because who would want to do that to you? You're so amazing and beautiful and they just… tortured you."

"It's okay Blaine. I'm getting better. And I probably _will_ have flashbacks and panic attacks but they've gotten shorter and less frequent. Well, until today." I shrugged, looking down at my small, pathetic, hospital sheet. Is this supposed to keep me warm?

"What happened today?" he asked.

"Kelly gave me a bath," I sighed ", Oh and Dr. Villa said my cut's color is starting to fade. That's good, huh?" I smiled at him, trying to cheer him up. I hate seeing Blaine cry, he's so put-together and amazing. But when he cries it just breaks my heart.

"Yeah. That's great baby," he answered sadly with a smile. I knew it was forced though. I carefully placed my hand on the back of his neck. I saw him looked at me confused. So I eased in and eyed him carefully then kissed him deeply and sweetly. He gave me a loving smile after I kissed him.

I gave him a quick peck on the lips before saying, "I know I'm scared all the time and I wish things _could_ go back to normal, and now I have these problems but it's going to be okay because Meghan is helping me and someday I won't see _him_ anymore. He won't come into my dreams or where I am anytime someone touches me."

"I know baby. It's going to take time though," he told me truthfully.

"I know. I _want_ to get better" I nodded hopefully at him, and he smiled back.

"You will, " he sighed and then looked uneasily at me ", Can I ask you a few things about the…about the attack?" I took my hand off of his neck and settled it in my lap next to my other hand. I took a slow breath.

"Sure." I then nodded eagerly. As happy as I was about telling Blaine about the whole attack, I knew explaining my feelings and circumstances in depth would probably help me, help us. Even if it would be a little awkward and frightening telling him.

"What did he mean that was my property?" asked Blaine. Oh good, a not-so-humiliating question. I shut my eyes and breathed in a nervous breath, remembering the memory. Even though I know I shouldn't.

"Remember that one time when we were both really horny after school?" I asked Blaine with a blush.

"You're going to have to clarify when Kurt." Blaine laughed. I laughed with him, I had to agree. . . Blaine and I get horny a lot. But it's not my fault my boyfriend is do damn hot.

"Um… it was about two weeks ago?"

"_Kurt…Uh, you can't just do this to me!" Blaine squirmed in the passenger seat of his boyfriend's car, with an uncomfortable hard-on seen visibly in his khakis. _

"_And what is this you're speaking of?"Kurt innocently asked._

"_Kurt you just kissed me with your tongue inside my mouth and played with me and then quit? Now I'm all hard and it hurts," Blaine whined, desperately trying to not touch himself in-front of his boyfriend._

"_It's called teasing dear."Kurt laughed knowingly as he took a right on a bare road._

"_Yeah, well it's called being mean," Blaine huffed and threw his head back, trying to think of incredibly un-sexy things. Kurt laughed at his boyfriend's inability for an intelligent comeback._

"_Nice one, Blaine," Kurt retorted. As much as Blaine tried to think of Rachel Berry in lingerie and him without hair-gel, nothing seemed to be helping._

"_Kurt, please, it hurts so bad and it's straining against my zipper," Blaine sighed._

"_What do you want me to do? Jerk you off while I'm driving? We'll be there in like 10 minutes baby." Kurt tried to calm down his boyfriend by affectionately patting Blaine's thigh. When in actuality, it just turned Blaine on even more. _

_Blaine swatted his boyfriend's hand away as he continued to whine, "Ugh…10 minutes…"_

"_Fine Blaine, what do you suggest I do then?"_

"_Okay well if I'm in the position for suggestions. I would suggest you never tease me that bad again and leave me horny for you. Next, I suggest we pull over into some vacant, un-used place so we can go at it with each other." _

_Kurt laughed uncontrollably, "Alright 'go at it'? Seriously Blaine?"_

"_I'm sorry but I can't think of any coherent thought right now…and I am not jerking myself off in-front of you."Blaine huffed again, although it is so hard to not touch his self. . . How could he when Kurt is touching distance from him?_

"_Fine then. We'll do that" Kurt said and suddenly taking a right. Blaine looked out the window, "You don't live down here. Why are we going through here?"_

_Kurt just smiled at Blaine evilly before replying, "Because I'm going to jerk you off." He then pulled over in an old warehouse parking lot and parked the longest distance away from the road. "Are you sure nobody's going to be here?" Blaine asked nervously, looking around. _

"_Oh yeah. I used to come here all the time when I was all sad and lonely. You know, before I met you."Kurt un-buckled his seatbelt and turned off the ignition. _

_Blaine smiled at Kurt's romantic statement, "Aw… Now let's go at it." he un-buckled his seatbelt as well and watched Kurt, wondering when Kurt was going to go ahead and jerk him off._

_Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's animalist behavior and started to kiss him. It wasn't long until Kurt licked Blaine's lips and Blaine immediately parted his lips, hungry for Kurt's tongue. _

_The two boys were moaning, gasping, and sweating as their make out session started to heat up. Blaine groaned when his boyfriend ran his tongue over his teeth. "I'm so hot for you right now baby." Blaine sighed. "Mmmm… I know honey" Kurt cooed at Blaine and then un-buttoned Blaine's pants. "You ready, baby?" Kurt asked Blaine before shoving his hand into his boyfriend's pants._

"_Yes. I've been ready."Blaine sighed laying his head against the window shield._

_Kurt laughed at his impatient boyfriend as he reached his hand down in Blaine's underwear and stroked his cock. "Mmmm… you are hard."Kurt grinned. _

"_I told you,"Blaine whined._

"_Really hard. You get hard easily."Kurt noticed as he continued to stroke Blaine's throbbing cock._

"_Because you turn me on so easily Kurt."Blaine grinned his un-dapper, flirtatious grin. _

_Kurt chucked, "Okay enough flattery. I'm here for you." Kurt moved as close to Blaine as he possibly could then he sucked Blaine's neck as he teasingly stroked his cock and balls. _

"_Kurt! Enough teasing!"Blaine squirmed. _

"_Sorry baby. It's so fun."Kurt smiled, then pulled Blaine's shirt up to his throat and started kissing his chest while he pumped his cock. _

_He licked Blaine's erect nipples and started to suck on the now hardened buds when Blaine moaned loud. "Mmmm…feels so good baby." Kurt rubbed Blaine's entire upper body and sucked his neck. Kurt felt his own cock start to harden uncomfortable so he laid his body on-top of his boyfriend's and thrust his hips to Blaine's hips. Blaine grunted, feeling his boyfriend's hardness against his own. "Ugh, your hard too baby."_

"_I've been hard."Kurt continued to thrust his hips to Blaine's._

"_You haven't said anything though," Blaine acknowledged._

"_Well I'm not as whiny as you." Kurt laughed and thrust harder._

"_Oh please, yes you are," Blaine couldn't agree with Kurt for a split-second on that one. Blaine started to match his thrusts with Kurt's as Kurt continuingly jerked him off. Blaine sighed and arched his back with pleasure. "Oh…Ah yes baby…Ungh…Harder…Yes! Oh like that…"_

"_Mmmm I love that you're so talkative during this Blaine. Turns me on."Kurt began to shudder, feeling his stomach tighten up and his thighs begin to shake. He soon felt Blaine's thighs shake against his own._

"_Ah…ah so close… oh yes. Oh! Oh! Ah, Kurt!"Blaine cried out his boyfriend's name as he began to come. Kurt felt the wetness of Blaine's cum and the pleasure of his boyfriend screaming his name and he followed soon after._

"_Oh god….Ungh, Blaine!"Kurt cried out, coming as well._

"_Ah…" Blaine sighed, exasperated as his boyfriend laid his head on his chest. Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead. "Wow. That was great baby. I can't wait until we actually have sex." _

"_Me too, it's going to be so amazing." Kurt lifted his head to smile at his boyfriend and the two shared a slow kiss when they heard a crunch in the woods. "Did you hear something?" Kurt asked his boyfriend. _

"_Nah, I think it's just an animal" Blaine shrugged. _

"Oh my god…" Blaine looked like he had difficulty breathing. Then he shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "This is my entire fault. Oh my—"

"Blaine, please. It is not all your fault." I tried to console him but he stood up from his usual chair and began to pace the floor.

"How is it not my fault, huh? I was so _damn_ horny I couldn't wait 10 minutes so you could relieve me at your house? And you even thought someone was coming and I kind of believed you but I _wanted_ to believe it was an animal just so we could stay there a little longer…"

"It is _not_ all your fault. I wanted to jerk off too, remember? I was just as hard as you and I wouldn't have teased you that much and got you that hard if I didn't want us to hump each other in a car in the first place! The old warehouse was the place _I_ drove into." Blaine just shook his head. I couldn't believe how hard Blaine was beating this onto his shoulders. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked him.

"Because it's my fault, okay? If I could have just calmed myself down and stop being such a needy animal then you wouldn't _be_ here. You wouldn't be in this hospital bed with fractured legs and an infected, deep wound. You'd also still be a _virgin_." I mentally shuddered as Blaine said that to me.

"Don't—" I warned him.

"Well it's true! Do you know how perfect out first time was going to be? I'm still a virgin and _now_ you're not. That bastard took it from you!" Blaine continued to yell and I snapped. I don't know if it was the medicine or just me talking. But I didn't want Blaine throwing the attack in my face.

"I know what he did, Blaine! Did you know it still hurts down there? Did you know I can just now sit up without intense pain going through me? You don't have to remind me." Tears sprung to my eyes as I snapped at Blaine. His hazel eyes were filled with tears and anger, and then they softened to pity when I yelled.

He sighed, "I'm sorry Kurt but if I never—"

"_Stop,_ Blaine! I thought you would be okay with me telling you this and it would be good for us but I didn't think you would blame it on yourself! Why won't you listen to me? We did it _together_, okay? He knows what both of us look like. If he found you first he would have done the same to you probably. This could be _you_ raped with your ass still sore sitting in this hospital bed!"

Then the next thing that Blaine said was something I never thought I'd hear him say. After the entire week of him consoling me and helping me, he outburst, "I would rather it be me!"

My eyes widened, "What!"

Blaine sighed and looked away from me. He got close to my bed and I moved away from him out of instinct. He spoke softly to me. "Kurt, I don't like seeing you this way. It kills me inside when I see you this broken."

I rolled my eyes as I held back a few tears. "I'm sorry I'm so horrible to look at."

Blaine shook his head. "Stop it Kurt, you know what I mean, alright? Listen to me. I am so thankful that you told me this story. I've had to wait a whole week without knowing what _actually_ happened to you. Now that I know, we can work together on helping you get better, okay? Maybe it was both our faults but I just can't help but feel a little more guilty than you…but if you honestly don't see it that way maybe I can try to stop feeling so guilty."

I smiled at my amazing boyfriend. Even if he did have a tendency to snap when he got uncomfortable and blames everything on himself. I looked into his upset eyes, trying to comfort him. "I don't see it as your fault Blaine, _honest_. We're both teenagers and we were both horny. Stuff like this happens all the time…not the attacks but teenagers doing crazy things because they're so turned on by one another. This was just something that happened, okay? We both wanted to do it. Including me."

Blaine offered me a half-grin, "So you don't want to punch me repeatedly?"

I chuckled at his adorableness. "Blaine first off… I'm not in the position right now to be punching anyone. Second, I would _never_ punch you and third, no. This is not your fault, okay?"

I placed my hand on his; he nodded slowly then looked away from me. "Okay. I just wish it was me. I've been attacked before, remember? Maybe I wouldn't take it so badly… or…"

"I wouldn't wish this on anybody. No matter what you or I went through, nothing could have prepared us for this emotional trauma. We can't erase our past, okay? I'm getting better; I've improved since last week. Please don't wish this on yourself." I tilted his chin up with my finger and kissed him slowly. "Okay. I'm sorry."

After that moment, I felt more comfortable with Blaine doing anything with me. I still didn't want to risk any chances by him doing more than holding my hand or kissing me, but I felt a relief. I can't wait until my legs heal so I can get the hell out of here.

**Review Replies from Chapter Three:**

**Sarahmanda: **Thank you! Here's an update! Enjoy(:

**Candy Criss:** No te preocupes, escuchamos de atacante en la historia. ¿Pero quiénes son y cuál es su sexualidad será algo a ser descubierto. Aunque algunas de sus preguntas desconocidos espero serán respondidas por leer este capítulo y escuchar la historia de Kurt. Disfruta el capítulo cuatro! (:

**Miroku girl15: **Yes poor Kurt's actions and thoughts are unfortunately questionable in his little head but he is getting better slowly and when there is Blaine, things will always get better for Kurt(; and don't worry I didn't take it as you being mean. I like constructive criticism! And thank you, I'm glad this chapter was easier to read.

**A/N: There you go! That is what all happened to our poor Kurtie): The next chapter will be told by Blaine and maybe will get to hear that song from Blaine? Or hear from our attacker? Stay tuned to find out (; also DON'T FORGET to REVIEW! Reviews are like crack to me, they actually inspire me to write MORE and often since I'm new to writing. So before you click off the internet or go to wherever you think you should flee to… please give the time to write me a little something of your final thoughts(: and I will always reply to each and every review in the following chapter. So stay tuned and always review!(;**


	5. Chapter 5: The Healing Process

**A/N: Chapter Five of Finding Courage is up! BAM! Ha ha I don't know why I feel the need to confirm the chapter is up when you can clearly see it. But anyhow, as I said, this is entirely Blaine's Point Of View. Enjoy reading! (:**

**Warning! Incredible Klaine fluffiness, I think this chapter should be called The Klaine Fluff. But this title suits it a tad better. (;**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Ryan Murphy, Fox, and the rest of its owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Five: The Healing Process

You know how people say the best medicine is laughter? Well sometimes I try my hardest to make Kurt laugh at _something _so I can feel like I'm helping him. It is so hard to come in here every day and see Kurt like that. Kurt's the strong, independent, comforting one. Well, I'm not saying I'm not strong or comforting or even independent, but that's who Kurt is. Kurt's a fabulous diva and is not afraid to show it to the world. God, I love Kurt so much. . . And now look at him. Broken, hurt, violated, and just so out of him. I know his feelings are always sky high now, but I just want to be able to talk to him real again. He has gotten better; I can hold his hand and kiss him now. That's better, right? One thing about Kurt is he's unpredictable. Well not entirely unpredictable because I know him better than anyone else. But sometimes, when you least expect it, Kurt surprises you. Sometimes good, and sometimes not.

I was sitting in the waiting room watching a commercial on some whitening toothpaste when Kurt's psychiatrist, Meghan, told me she was finished. I walked into his room and instead of Kurt's lit up smile, I got a sad look. "Hey. . ." I said, slowly sitting beside him.

"Hi." Kurt rolled on his side, away from me, and winced a little.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him as he tried to rearrange his hospital gown so he could cover his chest, although it's not like I'm going to see anything anyway...

"Yeah…" Kurt mumbled.

"Kurt quit lying to me."

"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt sighed, voice breaking a little, it seems like his emotions are bothering him again.

"If something is bothering you, don't you think you should tell me about it?" I asked him softly.

Kurt shrugged, "I don't think you want to know."

"Well I do, I want to know everything."

Kurt huffed and struggled to lie on his back again, then winced as he settled down. Probably from both the pain in his legs and… raped area. He twiddled with his fingers. "It's just… here lately… I want to…" he mumbled off.

"Want to what?"

Kurt looked at me with those blue eyes of his that were filled with tears. "Kill myself," he sniveled.

"What? Kurt, where did this come from? I thought you were feeling better. After you told me that story two days ago it really seemed to help. . .Why would you want to do that? Don't you remember that talk I had with you? How you're perfect and nothing will change that?" I felt like crying. I can't believe Kurt is even considering this, Kurt would never even considering doing that to himself, ever. It might be the emotions… or something deeper, possibly.

Kurt shrugged, "Blaine I'm not. I'm this…"

"Don't say leftover, Kurt," I interrupted.

Kurt sighed with watery eyes and looked toward the ceiling. "Well I feel like it! I really do, and I'm not just saying that because he told me that. I just want to get _out_ of this gloomy place and be home with dad and Carole. I want to be singing in Glee and… and being with you."

"Kurt, you're with me every day." I reminded him softly.

"Yeah… You _sit_ in that chair and can only hold my hand or kiss me occasionally because of my damn emotions and attacks. It doesn't feel like us anymore. I want to get back to us." He cried.

"We can."

He shook his head. "I feel so hopeless and...And alone. For a week I've told myself… I wish this never happened, how could this happen? And it'll be okay, I live through it, right? Well now I've realized it happened. I'm not a virgin, I can't walk, I have this scar on my stomach, and I can't lie with you anymore. I'm just so…broken and sometimes I feel like I'm never going to go back to being me," he cried.

Kurt's sobbing noises felt like someone was piercing my heart, he just sounds so _broken_ and hurt and confused.

"Baby, look at me," Kurt turned his head slowly and looked at me pitifully. ", I know you're feeling depressed but this is _not_ hopeless. This is not the end of the fabulous Kurt Hummel. You're _going_ to walk again, I will be able to wrap my arms around you again and we can melt into each other, and you're right, we can't change our past. . . We have to work on this _together_. But I can't work on this with you when you're just being so mean to yourself. When you're feeling depressed and hurting talk to me, I need to know when you feel these hopeless thoughts, okay? Although it is _not_ hopeless, understand? "

I grabbed his hand and rubbed his pale little hand with my thumb. He smiled that endearing smile, and then looked at me with a tear-stained face. "What if I never get to do those things though?"

"You will. I _promise_ you will. I _know_ it. You are so beautiful; I don't care about a scar. I care about _you_. I'm not letting you go, Kurt. Please don't let yourself go. You're too amazing. There is not another Kurt Hummel in the whole world. You're special."

"Thank you. So you believe in me? I'll be able to be… me again?" he smiled. God, he's so cute I want to ravish him with kisses. Gah, but I can't.

"Absolutely. I'm not the only one either, your dad, and Carole, and Finn… and all of your new directions friends believe in you. But I want you to talk to Meghan about this."

"No Blaine…" Kurt shook his head.

"Yes. Depression is a serious stage in sexual assault, Kurt. If Meghan knows everything that's going on with you it will help her to help you better, alright?" Kurt nodded. "So you're telling her Saturday, okay?" Kurt nodded. "Promise me, Kurt."

"I promise Blaine," Kurt said, looking into my eyes.

"Also promise me that whenever you feel this way you will talk to me immediately. I don't care if I'm not here, text me, whatever time of the night or morning. Or if I'm going to the bathroom here at the hospital, ring for me." Kurt giggled which made me smile. "Talk to me, alright?" I asked him.

"I promise Blaine, I will." Kurt promised me, looking into my eyes.

"Okay. Is it okay if I kiss you now?" I asked him with a smile. He smiled back with that adorable toothless smile.

"It might help." He replied. I chuckled and then kissed him deeply. I felt him as he relaxed his arms around my neck and continued to kiss me. Mmmm… he tastes delicious….so Kurt. I could kiss him all day long, I wish I could kiss him more and taste him in my mouth, but I don't want to scare him, I want him to feel my love not my hormones.

"Am I interrupting something?" I suddenly heard someone. I finished kissing Kurt rather fast and turned to see Kelly standing there with a chart and an amused smile on her face. "No, we were just kissing." I stood up, coughing.

"I could see that." Kelly chuckled and Kurt blushed. "Kurt, I need to take you to the examination room, alright?" Kelly said, looking at him seriously.

Kurt's face grew pale, "Why?"

"Don't worry honey, we just need to check your anus for the bruises we found when you first came here. See how it's healing." She reassured him and he nodded uncomfortably, he probably became the most uncomfortable when she said the word "anus" I had to guess.

"Do they need any help?" I asked Kelly.

She shook her head, "Afraid not, Kurt can't be around that much people still. So it can just be me and his doctor. I also need to get the stretcher for him; do you think you could help me put him on it?"

I looked at Kurt; he had a heartbreaking look on his face, like he knew something bad was going to come to him. "Um, is he going to start…panicking?" I asked her.

She shrugged, "I don't know. We'll have to see. Let me go get the stretcher, you going to help?" I nodded. "Okay then, be back in a few, Blaine." I looked at Kurt; he was twiddling with his thumbs, looking really pitiful.

"Have they put you on a stretcher for anything before?" I asked him.

"A few times," Kurt replied, nodding slowly. I sighed… I hope this goes well. I feel like Kurt has made it pretty far in this past week and to see him scream and have a panic attack would just cause my hopes to crash down. By the look on Kurt's face now, it seems like he's dreading this. Does he know his panic attacks are coming? I don't think I can deal with this.

Kelly came back around five minutes later with a stretcher. "You covered up, Kurt?" she asked him. He looked under his covers at his gown and nodded. Kelly nodded and took a deep breath.

I eyed Kurt carefully and he nodded at me, I then pulled back his sheet slowly and off his feet. "Blaine, get him from under his arms and we'll see how he reacts, okay?" I nodded. "Lift up your arms, Kurt." Kelly ordered him. Kurt nodded and gulped then raised his little arms.

I breathed deeply and placed my hands under his arms, ready for him to scream.

His chest started to rise and he was breathing fast. Damnit… he's going to freak out again. I saw him look up at me and into my eyes, still breathing fast. I looked at him with hope and with encouragement; trying anything I could so he wouldn't start to freak out, although I was scared to death inside. "Kurt?" I asked quietly.

He smiled, "I'm okay."

"He's good." I looked at Kelly, still holding Kurt up in his bed.

She smiled, "Alright Blaine, I'm going to grab his legs and on the count of three, we lift him on the stretcher. 1...2...3…" I lifted him up with Kelly and placed him gently. His breathing started to become hasty but he didn't scream at all. When we placed him down he grabbed the sides of the stretcher for support while he calmed his breathing. He was smiling; I swear that smile could light up the whole room.

"I didn't have a panic attack," he breathed out with a relived smile.

"That's right, Kurt. That's great." Kelly smiled. "I'm going to take you to Dr. Villa's exam room and we'll check you alright? We'll be back, Blaine. Hang around here or the waiting room. We'll be in room 5." She said, pushing him out. I smiled and nodded. I couldn't believe it, yes it felt like Kurt was going to freak out but he was just having his weird breathing. I know he's going to come through this. I know it…just slowly. It all has to be a healing process, and a slow one.

I left Kurt's room to say hi to Mindy before I did anything else. "What's going on?" she asked me.

"They're checking Kurt for bruises." I replied, pointing towards the examination room. She nodded, and then looked at me and smiled.

"Someone's happy." She observed, lifting an eyebrow.

I grinned back, "I helped them lift Kurt on a stretcher and he didn't have a panic attack! Well his breathing was getting fast… but he didn't scream or cry or have a flashback or anything!" I practically shouted.

Mindy smiled brightly. "That's great! I told you he would get through this!"

"I know. Thank you so much. I hope his bruises are healing…"

"When did they check for bruises last?" Mindy asked.

"When he checked in here, this was like…nine days ago." I counted mentally in my head. She nodded. "They'll probably be healing. Anal bruises start to heal after a week."

"Do you…have the file on his…anal bruises?" I asked her. Her eyes grew wide and looked at me closely. "Blaine you…you don't want to know what his bruises looked like."

I swallowed thickly as anger rose up in me, I really want to find that bastard and kick the crap out of him again. "Is it that bad?" She nodded sadly. "Is there a picture?" I asked her.

"Yeah for trial purposes, Kurt told me not to show the picture to anyone without his permission…he still doesn't want anyone seeing it. Not even his dad."

I sighed. I don't think I could work up the courage to look at his picture anyway. This is Kurt we're talking about… I don't want to see his damaged…insides. It would be too much for me to handle. I'd probably punch a hole in the wall. I nodded at Mindy then watched some boring show that was on their T.V.

Thirty minutes later, I heard wheels squeaking across the floor. I turned around and saw Kelly pushing Kurt on the stretcher. He looked like he was asleep. I almost jumped out my seat and followed her. She smiled at me, "Hey, he's still unconscious. I'm just going to leave him in here in the room until he wakes up. Come and get me and we'll get him on his bed again."

I nodded. "How are the results?" I asked.

"Don't know yet, has to go through the computer." Kelly replied. I nodded and let the two in Kurt's room. She rolled his stretcher to the other side of the chair that should be defined as "Blaine's chair.", A.K.A. the chair beside Kurt's bed. After she left him there I sat in my chair and watched him sleep. God, he is so beautiful. He looks so peaceful and angelic, well to me he does anyway. I scooted to the edge of my chair and placed my right arm over his body.

"I love you baby. I want to kiss you all over but I know it'll hurt you so I'm just going to kiss you all over your face since you won't feel it." I took his limp hand and kissed it. I leant in and kissed his relaxed lips, then his soft cheeks, his hair, his forehead, eyelids, tip of his nose, chin, and then to his lips. I sighed as my forehead was relaxed against his; our lips barely touching.

"That felt so good to get out of my system. Although, I know you didn't feel it." I laughed to myself. "Someday I'll get to do that and you can feel it, and you won't freak out either. Look at me, I'm talking to myself." I chuckled.

After a while of just sitting there waiting on Kurt to wake up, I heard him take a deep breath. I looked over and saw him stir in his sleep. "Hey there," I smiled at him. He smiled back after he fully awoke. "Do you feel sore? I mean…more than usual?" He nodded. They must have gone deep in him, I assume. "Okay. Let me go get Kelly so we can put you back on your bed." He nodded again.

I got up and started to walk to the door when I heard, "Blaine?" I turned around and looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"Could you go check the mail at my house? I think my subscription for Vogue should be coming in today or tomorrow." I nodded at his adorableness.

"Of course I will." I said, and then left the room. I brought Kelly back and we put him on his bed with ease and then covered him up. I told Kelly about me leaving to Kurt's house and she nodded saying that would be a good time for Kurt to get another bath. I knew Kurt was nervous about that. I also knew a lot of screaming and crying would be coming from that. I'm not feeling all that nervous about it though because we have made an accomplishment today. But we made a small one; it will still probably take a longer time for Kurt to be able to be naked in front of someone again without screaming bloody murder, even someone like me.

Turns out, Kurt did have a Vogue magazine come in, and a "Get Well" card from the New Directions. Well, it was more like a "Get Well" poster board. I told Burt, Carole, Finn, and Rachel (she was there visiting Finn) about his success today and they couldn't be more thrilled. Burt was planning on visiting him again tonight so I'd probably finish up some homework in the waiting room since I still feel a little unsure about Kurt having three people in his room.

I walked into the E.R, waved at Mindy, and knocked on Kurt's door. "Come in!" I heard him. I opened the door and set down the poster board beside his bed then gave him his Vogue subscription. "Yay!" he squealed, then tore the plastic off. "God, I'm probably going to be reading the crap out of this one." He sighed. I laughed at his cuteness, knowing how boring it can get in this hospital. "So… what's with the poster board?" he asked me, glancing down beside his bed.

"Well this is from all of your friends at McKinley…mainly the new directions." I said and placed it on his lap. I smiled as I watched his face lit up. Tears came to Kurt's eyes as he scrolled through the different little notes and signatures like:

_Kurt we miss and love you! Whenever you can have twelve visitors at once let us know! Also I hope your diaphragm isn't messed up since you're an amazing soprano. Let me know!_

–**Rachel Berry **

_We miss you, Kurt! My church is praying for you and I miss your white boy hips shaking in this choir room! Love you hun!_

–**Mercedes Jones**

_Hi Kurt, Mr. Shue told me that a lot of people beat you up and I hate them right now. I'm going to find them and let you kill them with your amazing unicorn horn…although I know you don't have one so we'll have to think of another way. I miss you Kurt!_

–**Britney S. Pierce**

_Hey Prancy Smurf, (Mr. S said I could only call you a slightly mean name so I went with that one). Seriously though, glee club is so weird without you. We miss you hitting all them damn high notes and school is just so weird without those outfits you wear that who knows where you get the money for…get better Simmons! P.S. I'm finding the bastards who did this to you and am going all Lima Heights on their asses! _

–**Santana Lopez **

_Hey my boy Kurt. I'm not really good at being sentimental and all but I do miss you and you mean a lot to us. You mean a lot to me too Kurt and I just want you to focus on getting better, unlike hot Jew, Rachel. Get better soon, Kurt!_

–**Puck**

And there were more from a few other people whose names I recognized: Quinn, Mike, Tina, Mr. Shue, Miss Pillsbury, Finn, Artie, and Sam, and some woman named Sue called him sweet porcelain, I still couldn't quite get that one.

"I miss them so much." Kurt sobbed.

"They miss you too, baby. Look at all that, they did that for you." I smiled at him and he smiled back at me, eyes full of tears. "Listen, I wrote a song for you a few days ago and I really want you to hear it. I think it fits our situation a lot right now. It goes better with piano so I didn't bring my guitar and it will be just acapella. Do you want to hear it?" Kurt nodded violently.

"Of course! I love hearing you sing." He grinned.

"Alright, awesome, okay, so here goes…it's called Not Alone." I smiled at him and cleared my throat before I sung the first lyrics. _"__I've been alone, surrounded by darkness. I've seen how heartless the world can be. I've seen you crying, you felt like it's hopeless. I'll always do my best to make you see.  
"Baby, you're not alone, cause you're here with me. And nothing's ever gonna bring us down. Cause nothing can keep me from loving' you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be. Our love is all we need to make it through."_

Kurt's face was already soaked with tears so I grabbed his hand to comfort him before I sang out the next verse. _"Now I know it ain't easy, but it ain't hard trying. Every time I see you smiling and I feel you so close to me, and you tell me baby, you're not alone, cause you're here with me. And nothing's ever gonna bring us down nothing can keep me from loving' you. _

"_And you know it's true it don't matter what'll come to be. Our love is all we need to make it through. I still have trouble; I trip and stumble, trying to make sense of things sometimes. I look for reasons, but I don't need 'em. All I need is to look in your eyes and I realize. Baby I'm not alone, cause you're here with me. And nothing's ever gonna take us down. Cause nothing can keep me from loving' you and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be. Our love is all we need to make it through.  
"Cause you're here with me, and nothing's ever gonna bring us down. Cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from loving' you. And you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, you know our love is all we need. Our love is all we need to make it through." _I took a deep breath and looked at Kurt's emotional face. "So, what do you think?"

"I loved it Blaine, your voice moves me already but that just…it really helped what I was going through and it was very romantic. I can't wait to hear it with some music too, it'll be amazing."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. Although I have written several songs and the Warblers have told me how amazing they are, Kurt's approval is mainly what I sing for.

"Thank you Kurt." I smiled.

"No thank _you_, that song is going to help me." He smiled back.

Kelly came back and told us that Kurt's anal bruises are starting to heal. She said they haven't healed much but I know it'll take a while so I'll take that as good news. Before Burt came, I spent my time with reading Kurt's Vogue magazine with him and maybe us doing a little kissing.

The fact is: I know it won't be long until I see Kurt walk again. I know it won't be long until I can lay with Kurt and ravish his beautiful body with kisses. When Kurt finally is ready for us to make love, I'm going to be gentle and loving for him so he knows what sex is supposed to feel like. But until all that happens, I'm going to be here every day waiting, waiting on this healing process.

I'll wait for Kurt to have tiny baby steps to become completely healed, and I want to be with him when he takes each of those steps. Sure, it's going to take a while but I don't care because I know it will happen. Right now, Kurt's just in a healing process, a really long healing process.

Replies from reviews in Chapter 4:

**Sarahamanda: **Thank you! Here's the next update! Enjoy! (:

**Candy Criss: **Yes, poor Kurt. You'll just have to see on the rapists' intention with Kurt, and even if he was going to go after either of them or just Kurt. If you mean when he says Kurt belongs to him… I don't think he said that but by "leftovers", it does imply that Kurt's rape would be his first…so he really just wanted to hurt Kurt and manipulate his thoughts when he told him that. But here's the next update! Enjoy! (:

**A/N: Yes, I am aware that I did not write that song, Darren Criss did so here: DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN DARREN CRISS OR "NOT ALONE" (but how friggin awesome would my life be if I did own Darren Criss?) So the next chapter is also going to have some huge clumps of fluff and Kurt's progression! Yay for Kurt getting better! So…REVIEWS! My writing LIVES for them…So drop me one! I'll read it and reply to it in the next chapter! Adios! Love and Klainbows to all! (:**


	6. Chapter 6: The Bump In The Road

**A/N Chapter Six is up! So I was thinking and this story will probably be about twenty five chapters long. And the last chapter will probably be nothing more than an epilogue. So keep that in mind: TWENTY FIVE CHAPTERS. This chapter is a filler, yes, but also creates a little angst between Kurt and Blaine, which this is angst story so that should be expected anyway. I didn't plan for this chapter to happen it just came out ha-ha but I like how it took the story. Hope all of you do too!**

**Warning! Klaine fluff, cuddles, and mild swearing**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters, only the story. All property of Glee goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Six: The Bump In The Road

It's been two weeks now, two weeks since I've spent every minute with Kurt and I've loved it. Kurt has been able to see three people in a room at the same time and those three people are usually Burt and I and occasionally when Kelly comes in. Ever since then Burt has been here every day with him. It was a little awkward at first but we've been able to work it out. Also, since Kurt is okay with moving to a stretcher Dr. Villa asked if he wanted a room in the actual hospital but he would have to switch doctors. Kurt didn't want to do that since him and I have gotten so close with Dr. Villa, Kelly, and Mindy, so he decided to stay in the over-night ER room.

"Hey buddy!" Kurt and I's heads popped up as Burt walked into the room one day, fresh off of work.

"Hey dad!" Kurt smiled an adorable smile.

"You got some more of them clothes magazines." Burt placed about three magazines by Kurt's bedside.

"It's _fashion_ dad." Kurt corrected him.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Burt asked, pulling up a chair. I laughed at the two of them as Kurt looked through the magazines then smiling from ear to ear as he tore off the plastic. "So how was today, Kurt?" Burt asked.

"It was good. I saw Meghan today and my bruises are now red instead of purple…My cut is starting to fade a lot, Dr. Villa said." Kurt's eyes rose as he began to try and count his progressions.

"And he only had two panic attacks this week." I added. Kurt nodded and ran a hand through his messy, dirty hair.

"Do you know when your legs will start to heal?" Burt asked.

"Dr. Villa said about 10 more weeks I can start coming for physical therapy. He said once my cut completely heals to just an ugly scar and my panic attacks can be handled by medicine he'll let me go. I'll have to use crutches though," Kurt replied with a sigh.

"But you're already on so much medicine though," I said.

"Yeah but when the cut heals I won't be on so much. Then I'll just need pain medication for my legs and…inside bruises, if they're not completely gone by the time I leave." Kurt fiddled with his fingers. He usually does that when he's talking about something he's uncomfortable with or when he's nervous. In this case, it's probably both.

"When do they check those?" Burt asked.

"They'll check again next week." Kurt sighed.

"Do you not like them doing that?" Burt asked.

"Of course not dad, it hurts. They stick their fingers up my butt hole and then when their done with that they replace it with a camera, which they push about 12 miles up me," Kurt sarcastically replied.

"It's not 12 miles Kurt…" I almost laughed at his over-exaggerating, but he'd probably give me his bitch stare.

"Do they not give you any numbing medicine?" Burt asked.

"Well I'm unconscious with the camera but not when they press their fingers up me. The point is for me to feel them pressing on the closest bruises I have to the…outside. Can we not talk about this? The point is I just get…painfully sore after I wake up and their not healing that much anyway."

"But they will." I told him with a grin. He tried to grin back but was truthfully sad and I could tell Kurt's emotions were starting to get sarcastic and angry. Ever since he had that anal test he has been in more pain, so he requested more pain medicine, which of course makes him act like a pregnant woman over anything at anytime.

Kelly entered and Burt and I both looked at Kurt's expression: completely calm, minus his emotions calming down. Maybe he can get up to three visitors soon. "Hey I brought Kurt's dinner," Kelly gently placed Kurt's tray over his lap.

"Yay hospital salad," Kurt sarcastically commented.

"Isn't this what you wanted, Kurt?" Kelly asked him, pulling out a notepad at his precise order.

"Yes he wants it, he's just being bitchy." Burt said. Kurt glared at his dad and sighed.

"No it's all his medicine. His emotions are weird remember? They got better since he started seeing Meghan though," I spoke up for Kurt, feeling Burt was being a little insensitive towards him.

"Hello? I'm right here! Can you please stop talking about me?" Uh-oh, he's starting to yell again and his face started to turn pink, almost red. That usually happens before he goes into a yelling rage. I mentally sighed, not another yelling rage Kurt...

"Kurt, don't yell," Burt sternly said to Kurt.

"It's his emotions again," I said.

"Oh," Burt replied.

"No it's not!" Kurt huffed and his lips turned into a grimace. "I'm not hungry." He tried to push the tray away but Kelly took his hands off the tray and pushed it closer to him.

"Eat Kurt, remember what Dr. Villa said? You need to eat three meals a day." Kelly reminded him and opened her clipboard writing down the time and date of Kurt's outburst.

"What are you writing down? Are you writing down stuff for Meghan? _I_ can talk to her!" Kurt yelled at Kelly and knocked the clipboard out of her hand.

"Kurt, calm down and it's for your doctor." Kelly picked up the clipboard.

"I just don't feel like eating right now, leave me alone! And stop writing stuff down, I'm fine! All of you are what is getting on my nerves!"

"What do you want to drink Kurt? I'll go get it." Burt requested.

"I don't _want_ anything to drink. I _want_ to be able to eat food again and I want to walk, walk without feeling sore up my ass. I guess that can't happen though, you know why? Because I deserved this since I'm _gay_!" Kurt outburst and the room fell silent.

I bit on my bottom lip uncomfortably, please Kurt just shut up and calm down. I know you don't mean any of this but that really felt like something you kept bottled up inside for a long time. Burt frowned and crossed his arms while Kelly remained calm.

"Blaine, Burt, please leave I need to talk to Kurt." Kelly told us.

"No they are staying! I think _you_ need to leave!" Kurt yelled at Kelly again.

"Kurt…" Kelly warned him.

"Mind her son, we'll be back." Burt told Kurt and he and I left the room. I looked at Kurt before leaving. His face was red with anger and he was shaking. This was definitely the medicine, Kurt doesn't shake when he gets angry, he just doesn't. "Is this really the medicine?" Burt asked me in the hallway.

"Yes, ever since they ran an anal test on him he's been hurting down there and he requested more medicine. Obviously, he feels better but the outcome is like day one." I sighed

"I've never seen him like that."

"I have. You just let him run his course, put down when he does it for Dr. Villa, and he'll eventually calm down." Burt and I remained in the hallway waiting for Kurt to calm down. We heard a couple shouts from Kurt and finally heard silence. Burt and I exchanged glances and Kurt's door opened.

"He wants to talk to Blaine alone." Kelly said. I looked at Burt and he shrugged and mumbled something about a drink and both Kelly and Burt disappeared down the hallway. I opened the door nervously and found Kurt sitting in the bed with his head down, fiddling with his fingers again. Usually after Kurt has outburst he gets horribly embarrassed and ashamed of himself.

"Hey it's me." I said softly and sat beside him.

"Yeah…"

"You wanted to talk?" I asked him and he nodded slowly, and then finally looked up.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"I understand Kurt, you don't have to apologize. We can't help that all of this medicine gives your hormones a weird outcome."

"I know but I'm talking about the last thing I said. Most of the time I _do_ scream random things I don't ever mean but sometimes I'll scream out things I really don't feel comfortable about saying and it just comes out uncontrollably."

"Like when you said you deserve this? Because you're gay?" I eyed him closely, he looked ashamed and tired. He could be tired from screaming or tired from all this crap he has to put up with, or both.

"Yeah," Kurt nodded. ", _He_ kept telling me I deserved it and I know being gay is not something we choose but I just kept thinking…if I never came out of the closet then…this wouldn't have happened." Kurt shrugged.

"Kurt if you also never came out of the closet then we wouldn't be together…I probably would have never met you and you'd probably still be dating Britney or whatever it is you did with her." Kurt laughed at the horrid failed attempt at a heterosexual relationship.

"I know. I'm glad that we're out and together but…I never wanted anything like this to happen. I just wanted to be _me_." Kurt sighed and laid his head against the bed pillow.

"Kurt _nobody_ wants anything like this to happen. Gays are just not looked at well in Lima and a lot of places, it's a fact. But whenever we graduate we'll both go to New York and be able to be ourselves, alright? We'll have a happy ever after, I promise. We're going to be successful, all that bastard is going to be is a homophobe, Lima, loser and probably rot in jail. We're better than him and you _don't_ deserve this." I grabbed his hand and held it.

"I love you, you always know the right thing to say; especially about stuff like this." Kurt smiled shyly and squeezed my hand back. "I love you too, and mark my words Hummel: we _will_ make it."

"Ow….Oh…._Ow_ it hurts…." I heard whining, is that Kurt? I woke up and found myself in a chair in a dark room. God, I can't see _anything_. Is this Kurt's room? Oh god, it is. I must have fallen asleep! Isn't visiting hours over? Why did they not make me leave? Ah my neck hurts; I hope I don't have a whiplash or something. "Kurt?" I asked into the darkness, rubbing my neck.

"Blaine?" I heard a voice ask back, his voice sounded broken and full of pain.

"Yeah sweetie it's me, I must have fell asleep. What's wrong?" I felt around for the bed and felt Kurt's arm.

"It hurts, it hurts so much…" I heard him whimper.

"What hurts?" I found his hand and gently squeezed it.

"Ow my legs and…and down there…my stomach is slowly starting to…Ow!" I heard him intake a sharp breath and release a painful moan. Oh no, his pain medicine is probably starting to wear off, he needs more medicine quick if he can feel his cut on his stomach.

"Okay, okay, I'll go get a nurse okay? I'll be right back." I squeezed his hand once more and ran out of Kurt's room, almost stumbling over the bed post and running into the wall. I finally found the damn door and found the hallway to be dark. I saw a light on at the end of the hallway, probably the front desk and waiting room. I saw a sleepy guy at the front desk, taking over Mindy's shift.

He looked up at me from his cheek resting against his fist with an annoyed, questioning look.

"Hey…um, I need a doctor for Kurt Hummel, pain medicine." I told him and he yawned.

The sleepy guy typed something and looked at me, "His day doctor Dr. Villa?" I nodded. The guy called him and they exchanged a few words then he hung up. "His night doctor will be in soon." He said.

"Thanks" I smiled and went back to Kurt's room to wait.

"Doctor?" Kurt asked miserably when I opened the door. I stumbled through the room again but finally found my chair.

"No it's Blaine, your night doctor is coming though alright? Is it still just your legs and...insides?" I asked him and tried to find his hand to hold it, he squeezed it back, very hard.

"Yeah and my stomach but just a little bit, although it's starting to get worse," he replied.

The door suddenly opened and I turned to see a shadow with loud shoes enter. "Is it alright if I turn the light on?" the shadow asked.

"Yeah," Kurt squeaked. The light turned on and I and Kurt covered our eyes from sudden light. The doctor turned out to be a man, who looked Hispanic, his name on his coat said Dr. Rodriguez.

"Okay now…" Dr. Rodriguez started to take some shots from his coat pocket. It all of a sudden hit me; if I want Kurt to take less pain medication so he'll be able to be him again now is my chance. He shouldn't be in too much pain tomorrow or today, I have no idea what time it is. His anal testing was days ago anyway.

"Hang on a second let me speak with him." I stood up and walked over to Kurt's night doctor. I knew trying to ask Kurt about lessening the medication would do no good. He's too focused on his unbearable pain at the moment.

"Blaine! I need drugs!" Kurt cried out.

"I know, hang on," I brought Dr. Rodriguez to the side away from Kurt's earshot. ", Doctor Villa prescribed him a lot of medication but everything went kind of haywire so could you go back to his original please?"

"Only one shot then? He needs more I.V. fluid too…" I nodded. He nodded at me and went to Kurt. Kurt winced as he gave him a shot and refilled the I.V. Dr. Rodriguez left with a wave and I told him to leave the light on. "I need to go Kurt, it's like…" I checked my phone. "Oh god it's ten till midnight."

Kurt pouted, "Blaine it will take you an hour to drive back to Dalton and I'm sure Wes won't be too thrilled of you dragging in at almost one in the morning. Please stay with me."

"Kurt I _want_ to but what about the doctors? Visiting hours are supposed to be over, what about your dad, too Kurt? He would kill me." I ran a hand through my tousled hair. Damn, I knew I should have put more hair gel on this morning.

"Blaine I am not in the state right now to be humping your leg like a rabbit, I'm sure he'll understand. I'm also sure the doctors' won't mind since they didn't usher you out anyway. You don't even have school tomorrow, it's Saturday. So you won't need to be there in the morning." I sighed. He's right. What's the harm? They never woke me up so obviously their cool with me being here.

"Okay but where will I sleep? On the floor? That chair is _so_ uncomfortable." I grimaced.

"Actually I was thinking you could…sleep with me." Kurt bit his lip nervously.

"Really? Are you sure you're ready for that? What if you freak out?"

"I don't think I'll have a panic attack, I am slowly getting used to touches and everything. I'm in so much pain right now although it's slowly getting better. I just really want you to lie with me." Kurt looked into my eyes desperately. He didn't need to beg, I missed this so much.

"Okay." I nodded. "But let me try something, let me turn the lights off first." I turned off the room light and slowly walked to Kurt's bed. He scooted closer to his I.V. bag and winced at the movement. I took off my shoes and tie since my Dalton jacket was already off. I placed me knees on the bed and tried to look at his face. I could barely see him. I leant my hand down to feel for his lips. I touched his nose and he giggled. When I felt his lips I slowly leant in and captured them gently with mine.

I slowly lay down on his bed with him and covered both of our bodies with the thin hospital sheet. I directed his head to my chest and he sighed contently. So far so good, I gently placed an arm over his body. His chest rose rapidly but eventually slowed down. He winced and moved my arm to his large, stomach, bandage instead, where he couldn't feel it. "Good night, Kurt" I kissed his hair.

"Good night, Blaine." He sighed and relaxed into my chest. Yeah, this was far much more comfortable than a chair.

When I woke that morning Kurt still had his head on my chest, his greasy hair in my face. I grinned and gently squeezed him and he let out a little satisfied noise. I squinted at the sudden light into Kurt's boring grey room. So this is what he has to wake up to every morning. I checked his I.V. bag; it still had plenty of fluid. I closed my eyes as I yawned and I heard a gasp. I jolted upright in my bed and saw Kelly walk in with a shock on her face.

"Blaine? Oh my god I have too many questions for you…"

I chuckled, "Nice to see you too, Kelly. Also don't be too loud, you might wake Kurt up."

She nodded. "When did you start getting here at 7:45?" she asked.

"Um…I never left last night." I replied. She looked at me like I had grown two heads.

"That's not possible. Visiting hours end at 10."

"Well it must be possible because one second I'm watching T.V. with Kurt and the next I wake up in Kurt's dark room."

"Oh god, I can't believe Dr. Villa didn't make you leave when he started turning lights off…" I just shrugged. "Also, how is Kurt letting you do this? Does he know your sleeping with him?"

"Yeah he asked me to."

"Wow. That's a lot of progress." I nodded and smiled. "Well I just clocked in and I was just checking on some patients. I see he's asleep so just buzz me if you two need anything." I smiled and waved good-bye.

I heard a groan from Kurt lying on-top of me and I started to get nervous. What if he doesn't remember asking me to sleep with him? What if he was completely out of it? What if he freaks out? Will I have enough time to get up? All of a sudden I heard another gasp, coming from Kurt this time. His blue eyes grew big and he looked at me breathing heavy, I just laid there and was about to grab a brown paper bag when he touched my stomach and gulped hard. He sighed as his chest slowly started moving normally.

"You okay?" I asked him. He chuckled lightly and nodded. "Good morning by the way."

He smiled at me and laid his head on my chest carefully. I was careful to not touch him too much as he got accompanied to lying with me. "Good morning. Sorry for…that." He shook his head into my chest.

"Don't apologize, I—I'm used to it."

"I wish you didn't have to be."

"I know but I am, it's gonna be okay. Did you have any nightmares last night?" I gently brushed my fingertips up and down his sides.

He hummed happily into my chest. "No I didn't. It was the best sleep I've had here. I wish you could sleep here more often."

"Me too, and I'm glad I could help." I and he both laughed. "By the way, your dad doesn't know about _any_ of this."

Kurt groaned, "Blaine he's not gonna—"

"Yes Kurt, he _will_. You know your dad he will probably flip out. Even though there's no way I would think about doing that to you with how much pain you were in last night…He isn't going to look at it the way we do." I spoke to him softly as I continued to lightly trail a pattern on his clothed sides.

Kurt sighed and mumbled something along the lines of "whatever" into my chest. He hates being wrong in anything. "Speaking of dad what time is he—ow...Ow, ow, ow…" Kurt started to shift his body and sit up. I immediately stopped touching him and watched as his face scrunched up in pain as he began to whimper. Oh god, what now?

"What? What is it?"

"Oh _god_…Oh it hurts…" Kurt lay on his side and threw his head onto the pillow.

"Do you need more pain medicine?" I began to move away from him and lay on my side as well.

"No it's not that."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No! Ugh it's just that _one_ area. It's weird because I asked them to bump up my pain medication. I wish it still didn't have to be so sore…"

I bit my lip and instant guilt washed over me. Oh no…Yeah I did go behind Kurt's back to tell his night doctor to not give him as much but I was just tired of him going insane all the time. Ugh, that sounds really selfish. But I'm sure I wasn't the only one getting tired of him like that and he's right, how long ago was it when they ran that anal test? 3days? He shouldn't be that sore down there. I was sure once I got him to lessen his pain medicine that it still wouldn't be hurting him. Obviously it is.

"I don't understand. Dr. Rodriguez gave me pain medicine last night. I usually don't need any more medication until two hours."

I bit my lip nervously, "Well um…maybe it's just uh…a phase, you know? Like it'll be gone in a few moments?"

Kurt groaned irritatingly and probably still in pain. "Blaine I'm not having a contraction this is like…_god_ it burns. It's something completely different."

"Sorry, what should we do?"

Kurt sighed, "I don't know. I don't want to ask for more and throw off my medication cycle. I guess I'll just have to wait it out."

I gulped and nodded. "Will it hurt worse if you do that?"

"I don't know. I've never waited it out before."

I laid there in his bed watching Kurt squirm and complain pitifully into his pillow. I can't just sit here and watch him in pain for two more hours…"Hey since you're awake why don't I get you some breakfast? Maybe food can take your mind off of it."

"Maybe…here's my usual breakfast order. Try to get everything on the list." Kurt groaned and reached his hand into a drawer from beside the bed and pulled out a neon pink notepad paper. I grinned and folded it into my pocket. "What about to drink? Do you want some coffee?"

"You know my order."

After breakfast Kurt was feeling a little happier although his insides began to hurt worse. I tried to take his mind off of it and talk to him about our senior year next year and what's happening with the Warbler's and New Directions. Finally the time rolled around for Kurt to get more pain medicine. As much as I hate to do this, I can't handle Kurt in that much pain. I can't bear to look at him like that; I needed to talk to Dr. Villa about taking his pain medication up again.

Dr. Villa soon entered and I shushed Kurt and smiled at him before taking his doctor over to the side. "Look, last night I was here and it was time for Kurt to get more pain medicine and I told Dr. Rodriguez about Kurt's….emotions and asked if he could give Kurt his original pain medicine."

Dr. Villa looked at me puzzled, "Dr. Rodriguez did this without consent from me?" he asked. I nodded. "I'll talk to him about that…"

"Anyway it turns out Kurt's in a lot of pain so just…bump his medicine up again please. How long do you think it'll be before you can give him his original amount?"

"Probably another day or so he'll be feeling better. Does Kurt know about this?" I shook my head. Dr. Villa sighed and raised his eyebrows. "Good luck kid, I'll be back with more medicine. It'll take a few." I nodded as Dr. Villa left.

"Why is he leaving? Ugh….I need medicine…" Kurt moaned and tossed to his side.

"He has to get more." I replied and stuffed my hands in my pants. As much as I know Kurt will yell at me until he turns blue, I just can't hide this from him. It's too obvious, and it's not that big of a deal, right?

"Why? He knows my prescription doesn't he? It's on my chart."

"Yeah but it got….it got changed." I swallowed thickly.

"How? Did he change it?"

"No um…I did."

Chapter Reviews from Chapter Five:

**Sarahmanda: **Thank you! Here's another update!

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**Candy Criss: **Oh yes I'm sorry about your translator and I do try to understand as much as possible. But yes this story has a lot more to tell so check back often! (:

**A/N: Thanks for all the following, reviews, and favoriting. If you weren't aware, I have another ongoing story called "Getting To Know You". Check that one out too it is now at three chapters. Check out my YouTube for Glee recaps! I'm posting my "Goodbye" recap tomorrow. Which how SAD was that episode? And confusing? But I'll cover everything in my recap. Here's the link to my channel: .com/user/klainegleek77 so review and subscribe to me on YouTube! Until next time, love and Klainebows to all!**


	7. Chapter 7: The Highs and The Lows

**A/N: Here's Chapter Seven! I did receive a review that I will reply to in the end of this chapter. Maybe some others felt the same way but that chapter was MEANT to be confusing. It threw out a whole bunch of un-discussed, abnormal things that will be touched on in this chapter and explained further. It also ended in a cliffhanger so this is a continuation and explanation chapter if you will. Putting that aside, enjoy chapter seven of "Finding Courage"! (:**

Finding Courage

Chapter Seven: The Highs And The Lows

"That's impossible."

"What do you mean? No it's not I—"

"Blaine the doctors cannot do anything new to me without my parent's consent since I'm seventeen." Kurt rolled his eyes at me.

"Sure they can. You requested—"

"Yeah and then they called my dad." Kurt interrupted me and sighed after shifting positions in his bed, so he wouldn't be in too much pain.

"But your dad had no clue when I was telling him about the new medicine with you…" I trailed off remembering earlier from yesterday, when Kurt was getting in a fit over his salad the hospital gave him.

"Blaine what is going on here? Did you really change my subscription? Because even if there is a chance in hell of that happening, it may make me want to strangle you."

I sighed and collapsed in my chair, sitting at a comfortable distance away from Kurt; mainly because he's in a lot of pain and really angry right now. With Kurt, those two things don't mix. "I know Kurt, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed.

"So you did? How did that even happen?" Kurt began to raise his voice even higher than he was already screaming, which I didn't think was possible.

"Last night. You were in pain and your night doctor came in?"

"Dr. Phillips?" Kurt nodded.

"No uh…Dr. _Rodriguez_. I guess he must be new…"

Kurt shook his head and sighed. "So a new doctor did what you told him to and went back to my original subscription causing me intense pain?" I nodded and gulped. I tensed up on the inside, Kurt is about to explode. Please Kurt, just slap me already.

"Blaine you _know_ how much pain I am in! Do you have any idea how much this hurts me? Why would you do that?" tears sprang to Kurt's eyes as he continued to wince from his unbearable pain. I bit my lip and knew there was no way I could explain this to Kurt with it sounding good.

"Because you…you just…I—"

Kurt's eyes grew wide and then he narrowed them at me. "Ah my _emotions_, huh? You care more about the way I act than how much pain I'm in. Well I'm sorry I embarrass you, Blaine!"

"No you _don't_ embarrass me. It's just when you have your outbursts I hate the way everyone treats you and I feel like they just don't understand."

Kurt looked utterly confused and like he wanted to strangle me at the same time. "Like who?"

"Everyone around us, the doctors and nurses here, your dad, your dad just…scolds you and tells everyone your being a bitch…"

Kurt crossed his arms. "He doesn't understand my emotions like you do though…"

"I know! That's why I did it!"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You did this because you don't like the way my father treats me?"

"Yeah I—I'm sorry Kurt. I had no idea how much pain you would be in, honest. I hate seeing you go through pain. I thought it would have healed more you know? I won't—I won't do it again Kurt." I pleaded and tried to look for forgiveness somewhere in his pain-filled, blue eyes. Although all I could see was pain and confusion.

"Hopefully they won't listen to you next time since you're not my legal guardian…"

"But I am—"

"I know _sorry_…I know you're sorry I just…you have to know that everyone else here just sees me as a crazy person when I do that, because I'm probably not the only person that has came through here to act that way. They don't see the pain behind it all like you do, and my dad doesn't understand the way my medication has an effect on me."

I sighed. I couldn't believe Kurt is taking this so well. I remember when Kurt first came here and he just couldn't understand why everyone treated him like a mental patient. Now he's reassuring me why everyone treats him that way and why his dad doesn't understand. It seems like the only person who understands him at this moment is me.

"So…do you still want to strangle me?" I asked him.

"Not as much I guess…I'm still kind of mad at you though." Kurt offered me a lopsided smile. The best smile he could force under his intense pain.

"I understand. I'm sorry." I placed a hand beside him on the bed and he took it and squeezed it. Finally, Dr. Villa busted through the door. "Okay boys, I'll explain it all to you later but right now I need to get some medicine in Kurt. Don't worry Kurt, we're upping your medicine again and your family can sue Dr. Rodriguez." Dr. Villa shook his head and stepped closer to Kurt's bed, taking some shots out of his coat pocket.

"No I'm not going to sue him." Kurt shrugged and winced automatically.

"Kurt it is illegal for him to do what he did," Dr. Villa said, looking at Kurt like he grew two he grew two heads.

"I don't care. Do whatever _you_ want but I'm not getting in the middle of this. I'm getting medicine now and I couldn't care less about what happened last night. Just give me some drugs before I tear this gown apart from frustration…"

Dr. Villa and I looked at Kurt curiously but Dr. Villa eventually shook his head and gave Kurt all of his medication. "I talked it over with your mom and your subscription of medication is higher now for just the next few days." Dr. Villa reassured a now more relaxed Kurt.

"My…my mom?" Kurt asked with a confused look on his face, for like the 15th time this morning.

"Yes. Carole Hummel?" Dr. Villa asked, looking at his clipboard. Kurt let out a sigh and chuckled a little.

"Oh no, that's my step-mom." Kurt stated.

"She's still your legal guardian though, isn't she?" Dr. Villa asked Kurt.

"Yeah, she's married to my dad so I suppose so." Kurt shrugged.

"Well I called your house the other day when you requested more medicine and your father was working. She gave me the okay to it, I hope that's alright." Dr. Villa explained, checking Kurt's I.V. fluid he previously filled.

"Yeah, that's totally fine. She knows what she's talking about she's also a nurse." Kurt replied.

"I guess that's why your dad didn't know about your new medication…" I inputted.

"It still wouldn't hurt for Carole to tell him though." Kurt mumbled and rolled his eyes, I shook my head agreeably.

"And you're sure you don't want to sue Dr. Rodriguez? Because it's perfectly fine if you want to." Dr. Villa asked Kurt a second time.

"No I'm not going to, just please have Dr. Phillips as my night doctor and no more new doctors for me anymore." Kurt replied with a little wink.

"Will do. Take care boys, and Blaine? No more requests please." Dr. Villa asked me with a stern smile. I smiled back shyly.

"Yes sir" I nodded. Dr. Villa nodded back and left the room. As much as I was happy that Kurt will not be in pain, I needed to brace myself for a high range of emotions that were coming my way.

ooOOoo

"No Rachel it's impossible for me to be at school now—Yes, I'm sure I can't walk, well I mean I haven't tried because they carry me around on a stretcher everywhere but I'm pretty sure—Rachel I'm not really in the mood to try singing—"

"Is that all she's going to talk to you about?" I sighed. Kurt and I were in his room later that day a few hours later. He was talking on his cell phone with Rachel while I was looking through some sort of food magazine. Seriously are these the only magazines that hospitals have? It's either food magazines or health magazines.

"I guess so. She probably doesn't even know I quit talking—Yes, I heard you Rachel…Yes you told me to drink water with lemon and to go through my scales—No I'm not—I don't know maybe because I have a cut on my stomach? Yeah, not a scar a _cut_! A _deep_ cut! Singing is my passion Rachel, but right now I couldn't give a damn about it because I almost died!" Kurt yelled into the cell phone. I took a deep breath and held out my hand.

I am so glad Kurt only has one more day left of this medication, which he really has to continue with the medication anyway because he has to have another anal test tomorrow. "Give me the phone, Kurt." I told him.

"No I'm talki—"

"You're not talking to her you're screaming at her." I calmly explained to him.

"Well she deserves it!" Kurt yelled straight into the phone within Rachel's clear hearing range.

"Kurt, stop it! Give me your phone!" I bent over my chair and tried to grab his phone from his shaking hands. He tossed and turned to avoid my hands.

"Fine! You want my phone so _fucking_ much? Go get it!" Kurt threw the phone across the room and it shattered on the cement wall, and then fell to the floor in separate pieces. I sighed and raised my eyebrows as Kurt's chest started to rise and fall from short breath.

I glanced over at his destroyed phone. "Your dad is going to flip."

"I don't care! I wouldn't have thrown the phone if _you_ would have let me finish my damn conversation!" Kurt spat in my face. I just sat there and slowly wiped my face as I waited for Kurt to calm down before he apologized. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Kurt screeched.

"I'm waiting for you to calm down and stop yelling," I calmly replied.

Kurt just rolled his eyes at me and huffed. He rolled over on his side and I saw his body jump from the pain he just caused himself. "You're going to hurt the bruises on your side if you keep doing that." I reminded him calmly.

"Shut up, Blaine." He mumbled from the other side. I could tell he was going to start crying now, after he cries he will start feeling ashamed and eventually apologize. I shook my head and went to retrieve his phone. The screen was cracked and a button fell out, along with the back compartment and the battery. After reassembling Kurt's phone, I sighed and set it on the table next to my chair. I heard a sniff from the other side of the pillow; I continued to wait as I flipped to the next page in my magazine.

"I'm sorry, Blaine." I heard him say from the other side of the pillow. As much as I am used to Kurt's crazy emotions, every time he apologized my heart does this little flip and I want to hold him. He never fails to sound like an upset little five year old that just got yelled at for doing something he was told not to do.

"It's alright, Kurt," I reassured him.

"No it's not, I—"

"I know. You're sorry. Don't worry about it." I spoke softly to him, not glancing up from my magazine.

"But Blaine—"

"Kurt, don't talk about it." A silence fell in the room after I interrupted him. I heard a quiet sigh and a few more sniffs.

"Okay…I'm still sorry." Kurt sobbed.

I took his closest hand to me and gently squeezed it. He still had his back to me and sniffed again. "I know…Shhh."

ooOOoo

Later that day I was on my way to Kurt's room from the bathroom when I heard the sound of Kurt yelling from his room. "I don't want anything to eat!" and then a little later I heard "Then let me starve to death!" I sighed and just kept on walking toward the front desk. My pocket vibrated and I saw a text from Wes:

**Emergency Warbler meeting tonight at seven. You coming?**

Really, Wes? It's Saturday! I sighed and bit my lip checking the time. Wow, if I'm going to practice tonight I need to get a move on. Do I have time to go tell Kurt I'm leaving? He's probably still yelling at whoever he was yelling at before…. He should be okay with me taking off and leaving, right? Probably not. Ah, what am I going to do? I guess I'll just have to tell him about it later. I could really use some getaway time with the Warblers. I told Mindy to tell Kurt or tell Kelly to tell Kurt about me leaving. She nodded and I then raced out the E.R. and to my car.

I know it sounds really horrible to say this but I'm always relieved when I go to Warbler practice. Not just because I get to see all of my friends but…it's kind of a relief to get away from Kurt. Don't get me wrong, I love Kurt more than anything but right now, it seems like Burt, me, Kelly, or Dr. Villa can't do anything without Kurt yelling or crying about it.

Yes I know it's not his fault and I'm used to it by now but it's still nice to get away for a little from that. Yeah, I sound totally selfish. Kurt's been through hell with those bastards and I need to be comforting him but right now he just scares me…One Warbler practice won't make him yell at me, right? I mean Burt's on his way to see him and he has an appointment with Meghan tonight. Warbler practice only lasts for two hours anyway.

I pulled up to Dalton and smiled to myself as I walked into the music room. I was greeted by a group of boys wearing the same uniform as I with smiles and waves.

"Hey Blaine! How is Kurt?" Thad said immediately.

"He's been better." I shook my head with rose eyebrows. Everyone's faces seemed to drop as they offered me a sad smile. "But he's had a lot of progress since two weeks ago. Although right now he's…his emotions are all over the place with his pain medication and it's just nice to get away from the hospital." All of the Warblers nodded and then David spoke up.

"We all sent him a bouquet of flowers an hour ago. It should be there any minute now."

"Great! I'm sure he'll love it." I smiled; hopefully it will help him a little tonight.

"Alright, Warblers now we'll start off with Blaine singing 'Trouble' by Pink..."

ooOOoo

After Warbler practice I never go back to the hospital so I trailed up to my bunked room with Wes and collapsed to my bed. I rubbed my temples and drew out a deep breath before checking my phone. 5 new texts, 2 missed calls from Kurt. Damn, I'm in trouble.

Where are you?

Kelly told me you're at Warbler practice. Thanks for telling me.I can see a little bit of Kurt's anger behind that one…

My appointment is over with Meghan. I miss you 

Text me when your practice is over. I love you.

I'm going to bed now, too late for you to text me now so I'll see you tomorrow**. **And he's angry here too…

I hit reply and typed out a good night message to him even though I knew he wouldn't see it until morning: **Yeah sorry baby after I used the bathroom Wes texted me about an emergency Warbler meeting so I had to head to Dalton for practice. I hope you're feeling better soon. I love you so much. Practice is finally over and I'm heading off to bed myself. Good night sweetheart I'll see you tomorrow. Xoxo**

I plugged my phone into my charger and grabbed some P.J's before my dorm room banged open and Wes slammed it shut and locked it. "Could you bang that door open any louder? Some of us aren't slouches!" I snapped, and then I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach as soon as I did. I'm beginning to sound like Kurt…

"Anderson you left a pizza box under your bed for a week." Wes retorted.

I sighed, "Sorry I'm just…ugh, stressed." I collapsed onto my bed and let out an exasperated sigh.

I heard a squeak from the other side of the room as Wes sat on his bed. "How are _you_ stressed?"

"In case you didn't know Wes, my boyfriend is in the hospital and is having mental problems and in a lot of pain," I replied.

"Well you could try thinking about _him_."

"You don't think I think about him?" I immediately sat up in my bed and watched as Wes un-tied his tie and threw it across the room.

"No I just—you seem to think it's all hard on you, is all. I mean he's the one that was beated and raped."

I raised my eyebrows and shrugged a shoulder. I had no idea Wes felt that way about me. "You think I'm being selfish?"

"A little, yes," He replied.

"I don't think you _understand_ just where I'm coming from. I'm not being selfish at _all_. I go there _every_ damn day and spend _every_ second with him. I try my best to make him laugh because I hate all this pain he's in. He can't even walk right now. His emotions are so sky high he could cry if I told him he had ketchup on his face! I have to see him like this and there's nothing I can do about it? I—I want to do _something_ so bad and I am the only person there that understands how hard this is for him. His dad just looks at him and says he's being a bitch but it's not his fault, he—he—he's just in—" I started to break down in uncontrollable sobs and couldn't develop my thoughts into words anymore.

"Okay Blaine, alright. I get it. Sorry. But do you not believe in him?"

"Of course I do." I shook my head.

"Then stop worrying! Kurt is strong and you _know_ that. Gang attacks and rapes are humiliating and horrible, and he has actually _lived_ through it and is progressing within two and a half weeks! Two and a half weeks is a small time." Wes sat beside me on my bed and began to rub my shoulder.

"I know he has progressed a lot it's just—When I see him in that bed in so much pain and…worry and anger it just…it breaks my heart to see him like that. I know I can't do much but I want to so bad."

"I know you do. But you know, sometimes it's not the things we do but the things we show that matters the most. Kurt adores the hell out of you; he thinks you're the best thing since cheeseburgers and fries. So don't worry about failing with his progression. He's progressed and included you in all of it. I mean you told me that you hold his hand and you two kiss and you got to sleep with him last night so just don't worry so much, okay? It's all a part of the process." I sighed and began to calm down as Wes' words began to make more sense. Kurt has progressed a lot; I still wish I could help him. But maybe he's right…this is all part of a long, slow, wanting to stab myself in the eyes process.

"The healing process?" I asked him.

"Exactly, and in that process there will be ups and downs. Lots of them, but just show him what you are. You know what you are Blaine. We all know it doesn't take you long to find courage."

Chapter Replies from Chapter Six:

**Sarahmanda: **Thanks! Another update! Enjoy! (:

**Sabaku no Sable:** Yes I am completely aware of all that. Like I said in my first author's note, that chapter was meant to be pretty abnormal. I'm pretty sure this chapter clears up the confusion you or any other readers may have expressed.

**A/N: So I wanted to continue this chapter but it just seems to end perfectly right here. Don't forget to check out my YouTube channel! I do Glee recaps to every new episode: .com/user/klainegleek77 so subscribe to my YouTube channel and review! Also! Since I did two "Finding Courage" updates without a "Getting to Know You" update, I'll update "Getting to Know You" twice before updating this story again, just to make things fair (;**


	8. Chapter 8: The Progressions

**A/N: BAM! Chapter Eight of "Finding Courage"! Sorry it took a little longer than usual but I am not writing THREE Klaine stories. "Finding Courage", "Getting to Know You" (which is now on a month long hiatus), and a very new one called "Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight" So enjoy!(:**

Finding Courage

Chapter Eight: The Progression

Three weeks, just like all the other weeks, has really flown by. Kurt has almost been here a whole month. He really has improved though, it's amazing. When I look back on the first night I received that call from Finn, I couldn't even touch Kurt, and he could only have one visitor, along with one medical employee (nurse or doctor) in the room with him. Now, Dr. Villa is thinking of letting him have four people in the room with him (including a medical employee) so really it's three visitors. Which would most likely be me, Burt, and either Finn or Carole.

Now I'm able to hold his hand, kiss him, he can be lifted on a stretcher with no problem, and I've slept with him a couple of times. So much has changed, slowly, but it still has _changed_ and it feels great for the both of us. Kurt's only problems now are his emotions, because of the medication, because of his weekly anal checks, Kurt's stomach is still bandaged, and anytime he has to be naked in-front of Kelly or Dr. Villa…so his anal checks don't go too well, or when Kelly bathes him.

I also still haven't seen the bruises under his clothes, but after that talk with Wes, I don't think I should worry too much. A lot has progressed, and I know things can only go up hill from here. Also, on the up side, Dr. Rodriguez was fired.

After school Monday, I headed to Lima Medical Center. I waved at Mindy before heading to Kurt's room. Today marks the third week for Kurt being in this ER. I abruptly stopped in the hallway, just inches away from Kurt's room, because of what I heard from inside. "Stop it, stop it, please…" I heard sobbing. That's Kurt crying. I gasped quietly from the other side of the door, hoping he didn't hear me. Is he dreaming? Is he having a nightmare? I was just about to turn the knob and peek inside until I heard another voice.

"I need to know what bothers you. Please just tell me how you feel about me doing this." I heard Kelly's voice. What is she doing to him? My eyebrows rose and heart quickened. As much as I wanted to bust through the door and save my beautiful Prince, being his knight in shining armor, I couldn't help but feel I would be interrupting something important.

"Are you uncomfortable with me doing this?" I heard Kelly's voice again. Her voice was low, almost quiet and soft, and then I could hear Kurt sniffle a few cries.

"No it just hurts!" I heard him shout in pain. He sounded really frustrated. I am curious as to _what_ she is exactly doing to him.

"I _know_ it hurts. There are _bruises_. Are you scared right now? Are you feeling fear?" I heard her again.

"No, just pain!" I heard Kurt scream. I drew in a shaky breath, his emotions is starting to get all worked up again.

"Okay. Okay. How about here?" I heard Kelly's voice.

"No! No! Ah! Stop it!" I heard Kurt screaming at the top of his lungs. Oh no…another panic attack.

I bit my lip and shut my eyes as I heard him scream and Kelly instructing him through it, "Kurt you are having a panic attack, you know what to do."

"Ah...Ah!" Kurt whimpered. A few moments later, I couldn't hear any more screaming.

"That's good Kurt, great! You didn't even need an extra supply of oxygen. You're doing well. I just need to update your results and your stomach is still off limits for touching. Okay, I'll see you later Kurt, Blaine should be here soon."

Wait, no one can touch Kurt's stomach? That's strange…I touched his stomach like last week when we slept together. I moved away from the door while it opened and I saw Kelly's face. She smiled at me and greeted me; I offered her my best smile as I greeted her as well.

"Honey, Blaine is here." Kelly turned her head as she spoke to Kurt. She then turned on her heel and walked towards another over-night ER room. I stepped in the doorway and saw Kurt's eyes mildly red. That's good. They're not _as_ red, which means his crying wasn't so bad.

"You okay?" I asked him as I walked into the room and closed the door behind me.

He shrugged and looked to his lap. He usually does that after a panic attack or he comes down from screaming. I sat beside him and waited for him to speak.

He sighed deeply before speaking to me. "Well, I'm getting there. Kelly just ran a few tests on me." He turned his head and looked at me, still a little upset.

"Yeah…" I bit my lip and looked back at Kurt. He looked away from me and started to reach for the remote. Is he lying? Did he just _fake_ a panic attack? Why would he want to do that? Does he want to stay here longer? Because as far as I know, Kurt hates it here. Well, there's only one way to find out; an idea struck my mind.

"So…how did the test go?" I asked him. He was flipping through the small amount of channels the ER allows.

He sighed and softly scratched his hair, "It's improving. Except for my stomach, I still panic when she touches me there."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, well at least you're improving. That's great news."

"Yeah, it is… I missed you this weekend. Burt and Carole have been visiting me since you couldn't." He looked at me after deciding there was nothing good on T.V.

I nodded sadly at him, "Yeah, they told me they visited you. I'm so sorry I couldn't come, baby, I …"

"I know. You were sick." Kurt nodded at me with that love-stricken smile he has. God, he is so adorable…even when he's lying about things.

"It was only a twenty four hour fever so I'm completely healthy now. But I did miss you too." I grabbed his hand and he squeezed mine back. "I love you so much" I took my other hand and raked my fingers across his belly. He didn't even flinch; he just looked at me with those gorgeous, blue, deep-with-love eyes. I smiled back at him and started to rub my palm against his stomach. Still no abrupt movement; he was still as ever. I can't believe it!

"Alright Kurt, I caught you." I stood up and let go of his hand. His eyes widened and he sat himself up in his bed wincing.

"What do you mean? What is up with you?"

"You just told me that when _she_ touched you, you panic, and now when _I_ touch you, you don't? That just doesn't make sense!" I yelled at him.

"Of course it makes sense!" Kurt yelled back with a hint of hurt in his eyes.

"How, Kurt? How?" I leaned forward on the back of my chair and he scooted a little further from me.

"Because it's _different_ with you!" He yelled uncomfortably, nervously playing with his fingers. I rolled my eyes.

"Kurt it's a hand and a stomach. It's still touches, it's still bruises, and panic attacks…"

"Yeah but it's you!" Kurt's face began to grow red and his hands began to shake. Classic sign of his emotions getting the better of him. It is kind of my fault though, I started yelling first.

"Yeah I know that and—"

"I trust you! Blaine we have grown very far in our relationship before this happened and of all the people I know, you have seen the majority of me! I don't really know Kelly! She opens my gown, sees _all_ my bruises and starts _touching_ me and I've only know her for three weeks! But I feel different about your touches because their yours and I…I…I feel safe with you." His voice grew smaller but his anger still raging. His hands were trembling with anger and color started to rise in his face.

"You don't feel safe with Kelly?" I tried to control my anger, thinking that could cool him down.

He sighed dramatically and crossed his arms, trying to calm his emotions down as well. "Not really, no."

"But you do with _me_?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Kurt looked at me like I grew two heads and narrowed his eyes at me shamefully. "Why?" he asked me sardonically. I nodded and he scoffed, un-crossed his arms and slapped his hands hard on the mattress. "Because I love you? Because you're my _boyfriend?_ That happens to be my best friend and we've made out shirtless and jerked each other off before so I think I'd be okay right now with you touching my stomach!"

"Yeah but when you first came here you freaked out because I touched your cheek, what happened with that?" I don't really know where that came from. I knew what happened with that, he got better. Why did I just ask that?

Kurt shook his head at me angry and confused. "_What_ is going on with you! Twenty questions!"

"Kurt, just _answer_ me!" I don't know where that came from either.

"Because I was just _raped_ and _attacked_! If you haven't noticed, I have _improved_ okay? I was more fragile and emotional then!"

"You're still emotional…" I mumbled and rolled my eyes. Kurt eyes widened with temper and he looked like he wanted to grab my neck and squeeze it until my head popped off.

"Blaine you _know_ why I am emotional, it's this damn medicine! Why are you being such a _dick_?" Kurt screamed. I sighed, there it is. Exactly what Cooper has told me countless times before when I merely wanted him to stop bossing me around so much. How dare he insult me the same way.

"You think I'm being dick?" I walked closer to him.

"Yeah. Yeah I do." Kurt shook his head trying to control his fear of me, but it didn't seem like he was doing a good job at it. He eyed me carefully and was backing away from me. Suddenly, I heard someone clear their throat and a door shut. I turned my head and saw none other than Burt Hummel standing by the closed door.

That's great, just great, Blaine. Burt just witnessed you completely lose my mind in-front of his beautiful son, who has really done nothing wrong.

"What's going on? Blaine, why are you two yelling?" Burt asked calmly. I looked at the two Hummel's. Kurt was raging angry while still a little scared, and still remained in his position: trying to crawl away from me. Burt was just utterly confused, but he usually looks that way before sarcastic anger comes in. Damn I have to get out of here, between the two of them, they could kill me. What is wrong with me? I am the worst boyfriend _ever_.

"I…I need to leave." I managed to stutter out and head for the door but Burt grabbed me by my Dalton blazer sleeve and forced me to not move.

"No you're not; explain to me what the hell is going on here." He looked at me in the eye. My breathing intensified. If Burt ever wanted to get his shot gun out on me, now would be the time to do it.

"Yes Blaine, I'd like to know too!" I heard Kurt yell from his bed, I turned to look at him. Still angry as a hornet. Guilt immediately washed over me.

"Kurt you be quiet." Burt pointed at his angry son.

"This involves me, dad!" Kurt yelled at Burt.

"Kurt. That's _enough_! Now what is going on here?" Burt stood in-front of me with his back to Kurt. I sighed and covered up half my face with my hand, then slowly pulled my hand down.

"I…I thought Kurt was lying and…faking a panic attack," I replied and looked ahead of me at Kurt. His mouth was gaped open, disgusted.

"Why the hell would I do that?" Kurt yelled.

"I don't know! That's what I was trying to figure out, I—I guess I just couldn't understand a lot of things." I replied, is it just me or is this what a migraine feels like?

"Blaine, you're not Kurt's psychiatrist, alright? It's Meghan's job to figure out things. It's your job to help Kurt with his progress, same as me." Burt told me. He was always great at the advice. But it's not like I'm _trying_ to be a psychiatrist here, and I know Kurt isn't mentally stable…most of the time…but his reactions with touching and flashbacks and people…is always unpredictable it's so…

"I just…It was _confusing_ to me." I managed to speak honestly to Burt.

"What is?" Burt asked me calmly.

"_Everything_…you're panic attacks, me touching you, Kelly touching you, your emotions are…Sorry it's just…I'm trying to figure out where we are here," I replied, mainly speaking to Kurt.

Kurt sighed, "I told you my reactions to you are different because I feel safe with you. Meghan says that's normal because I've known you longer, it's the same with dad." I looked at Burt and he nodded to me, agreeing with Kurt.

"Okay. I…I'm sorry I was being a dick." I apologized to the two, mainly to Kurt though. Kurt forced a small grin and waved for me to come and stand by him so I did, very slowly might I add.

"It's alright; I get pretty bitchy with my emotions so…I guess we're even. As long as you don't be a dick intentionally, got it?" Kurt winked at me and reached out his hand. I grabbed it and he held my hand comfortingly, to reassure me he was joking. Mostly serious though, being a dick is not cool, under any circumstances.

"Got it." I smiled at him and got down on my knees. I threaded my fingers through his and kissed his finger tips. "I don't know why I did that. I was just really confused and I promise to my best ability…I will be the best boyfriend for you. Being a dick usually isn't in my repertoire."

Kurt giggled adorably. "I know, now stop apologizing and get me some coffee. Dad is going to tell me the story of Finn trying to fix Rachel's bra he broke. I'm sure you don't want to hear it." He winked at me and I smiled at Kurt. My Kurt, this is the Kurt I know, this adorable, witty, insecure and shy, but yet dramatic, boy I fell in love with.

"I know your order." I patted the mattress and walked away from the father and son, leaving them to their weird stories.

ooOOoo

I was sitting in the hospital cafeteria around 12:13 that day, eating the last of this disgusting substance the hospital calls "mashed potatoes", when I heard an out-of-breath voice coming from behind me. "Blaine! You busy?" I turned around in my seat and saw Mindy bending over, holding her knees, and looking a little winded.

"Mindy? What are you doing here? Did you get someone to take over at the front desk?" I gulped the last of my mashed potatoes and she nodded her head quickly.

"Meghan needs you," she replied panting heavily.

"Kurt's psychiatrist? Aren't they in an appointment?" I asked her.

"Yes. Kelly's there too. They need you."

I gasped and didn't even bother to throw my tray in the trash can. I sped through the double doors of the hospital's cafeteria and ran to the main E.R. entrance. I tried to take as much short cuts that I knew. Five minutes later, I was running inside the main E.R entrance, breathing shakily, winded, sweating, and my knees were getting close to trembling. I dashed past the sleepy guy who took over Mindy's spot and stopped short in-front of Kurt's room.

I opened the door and was still trying to breathe when the three of them looked up at me. Meghan was sitting in my usual chair with a notebook and pencil while Kelly stood in-front of Kurt's bed with a clipboard and pencil. They all smiled at me amused. What is up? Kurt's totally fine!

"You guys needed me?" I squeaked out, my chest heaving.

"Don't worry. Kurt's fine. We need you for a physical exam." Kelly assured me. An eyebrow of mine shot up skeptically as I stood in the doorway.

"A…a what?" I asked Kelly.

"All you have to do is touch me," Kurt said, he sounded irritated.

"Um…okay." I entered the room, closing the door behind me, and walked to the other side of Kurt's bed. Kurt swallowed thickly and looked up at the ceiling. Almost as if he was dreading for what is to come. Oh my god, is he going to open his gown? Are they forcing him to do this? We haven't done this yet. I can't do this; I can't make Kurt feel any more uncomfortable than he already is. I shook my head at Meghan. "I don't think I can do this," I breathed out.

Meghan and Kelly exchanged curious glances and Kurt shot me a 'what the hell are you doing?' look.

"What's wrong, Blaine?" Meghan asked me.

"I can't…I—I—I just—I can't—" I stammered and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"What's the problem?" Kelly asked me.

"I…am not going to do touch him there. I'm sorry." I threw my hands in-front of me and stepped away from his bed.

"No, we're just going to start at his chest and work our way to different areas. You will not be touching his crotch during this exam," Meghan informed me, smiling. Oh wow. This is totally awkward. I didn't even mean that. My eyes widened at Meghan and Kurt looked like he would rather be in a drunken rodeo than in this situation.

"No! it's…it's not that. I—I haven't seen his bruises yet and…"

"You're afraid you're going to be disgusted?" Kurt asked me annoyed.

"No Kurt I—I don't want to look or touch you when you haven't told me yourself yet, okay? Just…continue with his appointment and I'll come in later. I'm sorry. I—I'm sorry Kurt I'll just—go." I threw up my hand as goodbye to the women and gave Kurt an apologetic glance before I left. He didn't seem frustrated right before I left. Even though he seemed annoyed, or irritated, or frustrated the entire time I was in there. Probably his hormones. But he seemed surprised that I would say that. Almost speechless.

I crossed my arms on the front desk and groaned loudly. "Boyfriend troubles?" I heard a familiar voice. I lifted my head and saw Mindy grinning as she looked through a file.

I chuckled, "The opposite actually; Nurse Kelly and Kurt's psychiatrist, you know Meghan…they tried to get me to help them with a…a physical exam." I folded my lips into a grimace and raised my eyebrows.

Mindy's mouth flew open. "They wanted you to touch him _there_ in-front of them?"

I almost immediately covered her open mouth with my hand. Why does everyone think I'm referring to his penis?

"No! Oh god no. Just his chest and maybe his stomach and some other places."

Mindy shrugged and let out a silent 'oh' then looked up at me questioningly, "Well what's wrong with that?"

I sighed and bit my lip. "He has a lot of…_bruises_ there he has always felt insecure about me seeing. I don't want to do anything until we're both ready to."

Mindy smiled and moved her mouth like she was saying 'aw' "Blaine I think you should write a book called _100 Ways To Be The Perfect Boyfriend_."

I and she both laughed. "Yeah, rule number one…don't be a dick. Ever. Even if you think it's a good idea."

She raised an eyebrow at me. I awkwardly cleared my throat, "Totally different story."

"Ah." She nodded slowly and eventually shook her head with a smile and continued her work. I heard footsteps and women talking behind me. I saw Kelly speaking with Meghan while she placed a paper in-front of Mindy. Mindy nodded and took out a file folder, obviously Kurt's. I waved at the women and continued my way into Kurt's room.

He was rolling the I.V. cord between his fingers when I entered the room. "Kurt you're not supposed to play with those. You better behave." I winked and closed the door. Kurt opened his mouth and closed it, the wiggled his eyebrows at me playfully.

"Maybe I don't want to behave." He joked.

"Well you better, because you know what I do to naughty boys." I inched closer to his amused face and kissed his playful smile.

"I can't believe what you did," Kurt looked at me on a completely different note. But he and I both knew what he was talking about.

I nodded, a little confused as if he was angry or happy. I sat down and shrugged. "Like I said, I only will do something when you are ready for me to."

"Well…I uh…I am. I'm sorry it took so long." He was twiddling with his thumbs and my eyes widened as his request.

"Kurt, don't apologize. You can wait however long you want to."

"But I don't want to wait anymore. Like I said, I trust you, I feel safe with you, please just…just look at me and I need to know how I'll react to…unless you don't want to. Oh my god unless you don't want to see me, I didn't think about that. God Blaine, I—"

"Kurt! Kurt! I do. I do want to see what your other bruises look like." Kurt breathed out with an embarrassed smile. "So we're both ready?" I asked him, carefully touching his arm. He nodded. "So whenever you're ready, you can um…open up your gown."

Kurt nodded slowly and let out a deep breath. He looked at me anxiously one last time before becoming fully focused to the little buttons and ties on his gown. He first un-buttoned the buttons from the chest section of his gown, to a section that looked about underneath his belly button. He un-tied a few pieces of fabric and slowly opened up his gown, revealing his chest and stomach. He rested his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

Oh my god. Wow. His belly was mostly covered with a large bandage made from some sort of gauze material. His chest looked the worst. I could see some sort of faded, pink looking marks that may have been a handprint from slaps, or a knuckle print from punches. There were purple bruises everywhere; his shoulders, chest, what I could see of his stomach…

I remember Kurt mentioned they used to be blue so…I could understand how these have healed. I also understand why he was crying when Kelly touched him there. They look so painful. God, this breaks my heart.

"Please say something." Kurt gulped, his eyes still shut tight.

"No it's just…there's a lot sweetie. They'll heal though, just like you."

"Can you touch my chest please I need to…I need a thorough reaction from you."

I nodded and gently placed my fingertips on a spot on his chest where there was not many purple bruises. This was very hard to find by the way. My heart beat sped up, why did I agree to this? I feel horrible.

"Blaine don't be scared, press down." Kurt said, his eyes were closed tightly and his head hasn't moved. I bit my lip hesitantly.

"Kurt I…I don't want to make you cry." These bruises look awful; I can't do that to him.

"I'm _going_ to cry, Blaine."

I sighed. "Are you sure you're okay with me doing that?"

"Blaine, _please_ just…"

"Okay, okay, shh…" I bit my lip and pressed down, avoiding looking straight at Kurt. As I continued to press and push, I looked over and saw a tear fall from underneath Kurt's eyelashes. "See now Kurt you're crying I can't—"

"Yes you _can_. I'll be fine. See?"

I looked and saw him trying to hold back his tears from underneath closed eyes. I shook my head and softly kissed his cheek while I kept pressing down. I kept my lips inches away from his tense face while I moved my hand to a purple bruise and gulped hard. But this is what he wanted, what he needed.

I hesitated for a bit and pressed down. "Ah!" Kurt yelled and then moaned painfully. I apologized as tears started falling from my face as well. "No panic attacks though, see?" Kurt tried to sound happy.

"Yeah baby, no panic attacks."

Chapter Reviews from Chapter Seven:

**Sarahamanda:** Thank you! Here's another update!

**nbjd****: **Thank you! Enjoy Chapter Eight (:

**l1lyk0****: **Yes, out of all of my stories, I think this one is the saddest because of all the physical, emotional, and sexual damaging Kurt has gone through. But yes! There is still hope for Kurt! Don't worry, I might take a while to update but I will ALWAYS continue (:

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, favoriting, and following. You guys are the best! This is the only story where I do review replies. I haven't on "Getting to Know You" or "Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight" What do you think? Should I? Also, I have a challenge for all of my readers! In the next chapter should we see more Klaine angst or a Klaine sweet moment? It could go either way! I have an idea for both! So let me know in a REVIEW! So don't forget to REVIEW! And I'll announce the idea win in the next chapter's beginning author's note. So...GO! (:**


	9. Chapter 9: The Unwelcome Arrival

**A/N: Chapter Nine of "Finding Courage" is up! Wow that took a while! But of course I had to wait for your poll reviews before I could start writing…but here it is! And the winner is… Drum roll Finn…. KLAINE SWEET MOMENT!**

**Cue the Aw's….**

**I LOVE writing Klaine sweet moments but don't fret for those of you who lost! Angst will continue in this story as well, since this is an angsty fic. Some of you have been wondering about when Kurt is going to get out of the hospital since he has been in the hospital for the past nine chapters and I have declared this is a twenty five chapter fic…well I will not reveal that information now…but the next chapter WILL! So after you read this chapter don't shy away from REVIEWING! Reviews are my drug (; now enjoy! (:**

**The only Warning! Here is some mild swearing**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Nine: The Unwelcome Arrival

"Blaine Everett Anderson! About time I found you!"

I spun around in my seat towards the loud, rude, voice in the ER's waiting room when I encountered a person that I didn't want to see for at least another four months: my father.

Doctors and nurses poked their head out of rooms and hallways, visitors in the waiting room immediately stopped what they were doing to watch, and Mindy as well as the others behind the counter, watched as well. I swallowed thickly as I noticed all eyes on me and my father.

My father was enraged.

Also didn't look too well either; he looked sweaty, dirty, un-kept, and was shaking from anger. I was as terrified and embarrassed as I wanted to die down the scene my father created.

"Why are you here?" my father yelled again.

"Can we speak outside, please?" I asked him quietly.

"No! You're going to explain to me what the hell is going on, and you're going to explain it right _now_!"

I want to know what the hell is going on too.

Mindy managed to clear her throat and speak up. "Sir, could you please take your personal issues outside the ER? This is a busy place." I smiled at Mindy's professionalism and looked back at my enraged father. He just narrowed his eyes at her and sighed dramatically.

"Fine!" he came closer to me and grabbed my wrist, gripping it tightly as he dragged me outside of the ER's large, double doors.

"Now why are you here?" he gritted his teeth at me, still squeezing my wrist.

I sighed and jerked my wrist away from his tight grip. Damnit, _how_ am I supposed to explain this? I don't know if he's okay with Kurt or the fact that I'm gay and have a boyfriend….the awkwardness has died down a few notches so would he understand? Oh well, here goes nothing. I took a deep breath and tried to avoid his angry gaze.

"Dad you remember Kurt?"

"Your boyfriend? Yeah…I remember him." Dad nodded, still confused. I swallowed thickly and tried to control my anger and nerves.

"He's _here_. He's in…in an over-night room."

Dad scoffed and shook his head. "He has been in an over-night room for over three and a half _weeks_? How is that possible? Stop lying to me, Blaine! I and your mother have been in London this month and you promised to call us every night—"

"I know—"

"To keep up with our house—"

"I know, Dad—"

"To not have sex with him in our house—"

"Dad!"

"And to not get into any trouble! Why have you not obeyed _any_ of those rules? You're grounded, young man! I can tell you that much!"

I couldn't believe everything he has accused me of. Could he be this heartless? I bit my lip and managed to look straight into his angry eyes.

"Okay dad, first of all…."

"Watch your tone, mister." Dad pointed his finger at me and I raised my eyebrows and breathed out an angry, shaky sigh. Enough with the finger pointing dad…I get all I can take of that from Cooper.

"I have _not_ been getting into any trouble. I spend all of my time either at Dalton or here at the hospital, I have definitely _not_ had sex with him, and I do apologize for the house and keeping in contact with you both but this is an emergency! Kind of why I'm at the _emergency_ room."

"Well then what's wrong with him? Broke a nail?" Dad scoffed a sarcastic laugh. I had to grip tightly into my pants pockets to keep from slapping him, I was so angry.

"Yes, dad. He broke a fingernail and has spent three and a half weeks recovering from it," I replied sarcastically.

"Well then what happened, Smarty Pants?"

I shook my head and stepped away from him, about ready to leave him out here and wait for Kurt's examination to be over with."You honestly think I'm going to tell you with you acting like this? Kurt has been through hell and I've been here every _day_ helping him recover from his emotional and physical pain!"

Dad stood closer to me and gritted his teeth. "Why can't you tell me what happened?"

He seriously wants to know? He can't be serious about this. Why does he want to know so badly? I shook my head and tried to avoid his breath on my face.

"Because sorry for the language dad—But your being an ass!"

Dad scoffed, "Fine. You won't tell me? I'll go into that room and drag it out of Kurt myself!" he pushed me out of the way and ran into the ER's entrance. My eyes widened and my heart beat's pace felt as if it could pop out of my chest as I followed him.

When I stepped into the entrance there will people staring at him again. He was trying to move a doctor away who was trying to block him from the hallways entrance, the hallway where Kurt is staying at. Ugh, attention from visitors and employee's here be damned. His behavior is insane.

"No! You can't go in there! You can only be on a visitors list! You—"

"Huh, like they'd stop one of the top respected lawyers in Ohio…"

"They'd stop the president if he wasn't on the list!" I yelled after him and his strength finally knocked over the poor doctor and I raced after him, shooting the doctor an apologetic glance. Damn my dad's lucky guess, he reached for Kurt's over-night room door and I tried to step in-front of the door but it was too late.

He swung the door open wide and Kurt was lying on the ER bed with his gown open, Dr. Villa infecting his stomach cut. Kurt's eyes grew wide and he knocked Dr. Villa's hands away and grabbed the sides of his gown trying to cover himself, wincing as the fabric touched his wound.

"Blaine!" Kurt shrieked.

"Oh my god, Kurt!" I gasped and Dr. Villa desperately tried to tear Kurt's hands away from his gown.

"Kurt, don't cover up your cut," Dr. Villa said and Kurt furiously shook his head.

"He can't see me like this!" Kurt shrieked again.

I turned away from Kurt for his sake and saw the look on dad's face. His face was covered with shock, then disgust, and then shame. "We're leaving now, come on dad." I pulled dad away from Kurt's room and he leaned against the wall, speechless.

I looked at him waiting for a reply, but his expression seemed frozen. Shame was swept across his face from what he's just done; he refused to look at me. I scratched the back of my head and decided I could break the tension.

"That's what I've been doing. I've been taking care of him," I said.

A gasp finally came from dad and I looked at him once more. He was shaking his head, trying to find coherent thoughts. "What happened?" he asked me again.

"He was attacked." I simply answered.

Dad swallowed thickly, expecting that.

"Then he was raped." I added.

Dad gasped a second time, not expecting that. He closed his eyes and dropped his head against the wall, I supposed for feeling shame about what he said earlier, about us having sex.

"I had no idea." He shook his head. I nodded and crossed my arms, trying to hear what Dr. Villa was tearing Kurt through his door. Dad's head suddenly popped up, like he thought of something brilliant. "Was it just one person that did this to him?"

I in took a nervous breath, I hate talking about what happened to Kurt. It makes me feel uncomfortable thinking about what all happened to him, although it should be one hundred percent real to me by now.

"Well um…_five_ beat him up. Then one raped him while the others just…watched and…fractured his legs and gave him that cut."

An eyebrow of dad's rose and a finger started to slowly tap against his chin. He usually did that when he tried to figure something out.

"Wow. That's….interesting," he finally said.

My mouth gaped open as I stared at him, he was nodding at himself. "Dad it's _not_ interesting, it's sick!" Dad gasped and looked at me; he shook his hands in-front of his face, trying to take back what he said.

"No! No, yes it _is_ sick but also…I've been working on different cases that are quite similar to each other. I've had a small amount of homosexual victims getting attacked and raped in stories very similar to Kurt's. I may know who did this, also I may be able to help Kurt if he wants to press charges and kill five birds in one stone. If it's the same attacker."

My hopes rose, I don't think I've ever talked with Kurt about pressing charges, but Kurt would have to have lost his mind if he didn't want to. From what I've heard, Kurt is about ready to go home, and it would be fantastic if this could never happen to him again.

"Seriously?" I asked, forming a smile.

Dad nodded and clasped his hands together. "Yeah, does Kurt remember what his rapist looks like?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, probably. He's had vivid panic attacks. He's mentioned names of the other attackers with the main attacker but I—ugh, I can't remember—"

"I need to—"

"Dad! You _can't_ go back in there! You probably traumatized him! He's going through a cleansing right now anyways. His stomach needs exposure to air before his doctor puts a clean bandage on him."

Dad bit his lip and scratched his messy hair. "How long has he been in there?"

I shook my head, denying a possibility of dad seeing him at any time today. "Dad, there is no way you can talk to him today. Why don't you give me some questions and I'll ask them to him when he's bandaged up later, alright?" Dad nodded and looked down the hall, like he was about to leave.

Distrust rose in me the more I thought about dad trying to help Kurt…I know dad is a lawyer but we haven't even filed a case yet…I don't understand…for all I knew, dad is a homophobe himself. But then again, I don't spend as much time with him as I used to.

"Why do you want to help him anyway?" I asked him.

"He's your boyfriend. He's important to you, isn't he?" dad shrugged, like it was so simple.

"Of course." I shrugged back.

Dad grinned at me and I felt a little uncomfortable, dad hasn't grinned like that to me in a while…it was a grin of acceptance and pride. "Then he's important to _me_. As much as I would have liked for you to meet a beautiful girl and have talented, bushy-haired, smart children, I can't change who you are."

I smiled at his trying acceptance; distrust still rose up in me though. "Well you didn't think too fond of him a moment ago…" I reminded him of our heated argument outside.

Dad shook his head and placed a hand on my shoulder. I glanced at him skeptically. "Son, you know I have an uncontrollable temper. You do too."

I nodded, it was true. Boxing is the only way I can get rid of my genetic temper rages. "True, Kurt told me I was a dick a couple days ago." Dad looked at me with wide eyes. "Different story"

…

After gathering some questions from dad and speaking with Dr. Villa, I entered Kurt's room and saw him lying on his side and flipping through messages in his phone. God, what am I supposed to say? Where do I start? To the sudden unpleasant arrival of my dad, outburst from my dad, or seeing Kurt's cut he didn't want me to see until it healed? And now these questions dad so desperately wanted answered?

I watched him closely while trying to think of my next move. He slowly raised his head and looked at me. "Hi" he said weakly with a shy smile.

I shook my head and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I am—so, _so_, sorry Kurt. But he's _really_ sorry. He really is." I closed the door behind me and sat in my chair beside him.

Kurt shook his head not believing me and laid with his back to me again. "But he doesn't even like me." I heard him mumble into his pillow.

"What? Of course he likes you."

"Blaine, I'm your _boy_friend. The few times we met have been awkward and ended with me trying to comfort you."

I sighed, that is true. "I know but—he _accepts_ us now. I think. He's had a lot of time to do some re-thinking, I promise baby. He even wanted to come in here to apologize."

"Then why didn't he?" Kurt asked skeptically.

"I told him not to because I was afraid he scarred you." I fidgeted with my fingers and heard Kurt laugh. I smiled a little hearing his adorable laugh.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that." I heard Kurt say after a silence.

"What are _you_ apologizing for?"

"My—my cut. God, it's so _ugly_. You should have seen the look on your face. Ugh, I'll never be able to go swimming again." I heard Kurt's voice grow emotional.

"Kurt—"

"Don't try to deny it Blaine, I _know_ it's ugly. I know it makes me ugly so just—just stop."

"I'm not going to lie to you…it didn't look like Leonardo Dicaprio. But that doesn't mean it's not going to heal, and it certainly doesn't make you ugly. You know I think you're beautiful." I carefully touched his shoulder and he shook his head into the pillow. I was surprised he didn't slap my hand away.

"It's not going to heal all the way though, I'll have a scar for the rest of my life," Kurt whimpered.

"Kurt, stop talking like that." I said and then bit my lip from the sudden force that came from my voice.

"It's true!" Kurt cried out and sobbed into his pillow.

"No it's not! You don't know that! Look at me. Kurt, look at me!" I cringed again after I yelled. God, I need to stop that.

"Please, look at me." I changed my tone. Kurt just shook his head and continued to sob in his pillow. I sighed; I love him more than anything but he can be frustrating from time to time. "Please?" I begged again.

"No," he sobbed.

"Kurt…" I said sternly. He wiped his face on his sleeve and hesitantly looked at me, keeping his back toward me. His blue eyes were red and watery and he tucked his lips together, trying to keep them from quivering. I sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"Kurt you are so beautiful. Nothing will change my mind about that. Honestly, I've wanted to see what it looked like underneath the bandage. Not the way I saw it but please…._stop_ putting yourself down. We both don't know what's going to happen but it can only get better from here."

Kurt shrugged and settled onto his back. "It has healed a lot but—"

"No buts Kurt, I'm not going to let you say another negative thing about you or your progression. In fact…" I raised my eyebrow and Kurt looked at me suddenly, a little horrified.

"What?"

"Move over. To your right." I motioned for him with my hand.

"No Blaine, my dad—"

"Won't be here for another hour, this won't take long. Just do it, Kurt. Please?"

Kurt sighed and eventually complied. I climbed in beside him and watched him carefully. He just lay there, staring at me expectantly. I courageously un-buttoned and un-tied his gown and placed my hand on his clean bandage. He in took a sharp, nervous breathe, staring down at my hand.

"Calm down, sweetie. You're safe, alright?" He nodded frightened and slowly calmed down. I waited for him to look up at me as he adjusted to my touch and sudden closeness.

He looked up at me and I began to speak. "Now I want you to listen to me. That man and those men, they _can't_ touch you anymore. They can't touch us or what we have. Remember? You told me that."

Kurt blushed and smiled at me, I smiled lovingly back at him and then he shook his head and sniffed. "But they _did_ touch me…"

"I know baby, and I know everything still hurts right now but what we have is stronger than this pain. Try as they might, their hurtful words, and name-calling, and physical pain to us _won't_ stop us or our love. I love you and there is _nothing_ they can do about it."

He laid his head back against his pillow and smiled lovingly at me, he traced an imaginary pattern on my hand that was placed against his bandage, and then eventually held it.

"I love you," he said.

I smiled and touched his forehead with mine. He gasped a little at the intimate action. "I love you too, so much. And nothing is going to change that. Ever." He offered me a small smile and I captured his lips with mine. He let out a small, soft, high-pitch noise and kissed me back. I gripped his hand tightly and ran a finger from my other hand underneath his jaw line. He pulled away and giggled, I knew he was ticklish there. I gave him one last peck and he sighed contently before placing his forehead against my shoulder.

"You want me to cover you up?" I asked him and I waited before he eventually nodded.

I pressed him back against his bed and slowly dressed his gown up. I placed my feet on the side of his bed and was about to sit in my chair before I felt him grab the back of my shirt and heard him say, "Wait."

"Yeah?" I turned back around.

"Could you lay with me, please? Unless you have to leave."

I smiled and my heart leapt into my chest, Kurt doesn't feel comfortable with my lying with him. But when he does, I try to soak in as much as I possibly can, not knowing when we can do it again.

"No of course not, I'll lie with you. Only for an hour though, because your dad might be here by then."

He nodded and watched me as I lied on my side, facing him. He kissed me and wrapped a free arm around my shoulder, his other arm that was attached to an IV, he placed on my stomach. He pulled away and lowered his head onto my chest, keeping his arms in their place.

"You can snuggle up to me you know. Be close." Kurt said into my chest. I bit my lip nervously.

"Would you be okay with that?" I asked nervously.

Kurt let out a lazy, sarcastic laugh. "You do know I'm the one who suggested it, right?"

I chuckled at Kurt's usual behavior. "I know but I just…I don't want to…"

"Don't worry Blaine, I'll be fine. I just want to be close to you right now."

I nodded, but then felt silly knowing he couldn't see me. I tangled my legs with his and carefully pressed his body close to mine.

I felt his bandage through my shirt and gulped at the material contact. He just sighed contently and mumbled a lazy 'I love you so much' before drifting off to sleep. I guess those questions will have to wait until later.

…

I woke up to a sudden thumping pressure in my shoulder. I yawned quietly and looked down at my sleeping boyfriend in my arms. He was sleeping peacefully. I sighed contently and turned towards the pressure, expecting to see Kelly or Dr. Villa.

Burt was standing behind me.

I gasped but tried to restrain myself from jumping off the bed like a ninja for Kurt's sake.

"Sir I am so sorry. I am so very sorry. I'm sorry, this is horrible. I'll slowly get up now."

Burt quietly laughed and shook his head. "Blaine its fine, Kurt needs you. I just need to tell you something."

I gulped and sighed relief before smiling an embarrassed smile. "Sure, what is it?"

"I can't stay any longer. I've been here for half an hour and got an emergency call from Carole. Apparently Rachel's dads were almost mugged and we need to calm him down. He's going insane."

I gasped. Rachel's dads. Gay dads. A gay assault in Lima? Their still here? I tried to keep calm and just nod.

"Thanks Blaine, I'll be here tomorrow. Tell Kurt I was here, I'll see you two tomorrow" Burt threw up a hand and exited. I threw up my hand back at him and turned to Kurt. Wow. Another gay assault?

Oh my god… I was hoping the attackers were out of Lima…maybe Rachel's dads were out of Lima though when it happened…and maybe it wasn't Kurt's attackers…oh, who am I kidding. Based on my luck here lately…it probably is the same people. I'm still shocked Burt was totally cool with Kurt's body pressed flush to mine. I should have made an alarm or something….

I felt Kurt underneath me shift and moan sleepily. He smiled when he looked up at me. "Hi. Have a nice nap?" he giggled.

"Perfect."

Review replies from Chapter Eight:

**Sarahamanda: **Thank you! Here's the next update. Enjoy! (:

**Mynamjo: **I have to agree, Kurt and Blaine do need some sweetness. Your vote has won! Enjoy (:

**Candy Criss: **Kurt ha estado en el hospital mucho tiempo, pero en la nota del susodicho autor, es revelado cuando Kurt se marchará finalmente y más tarde en Kurt de historia la progresión seguirá fuera del hospital. ¡Su voto ha ganado! Disfrute (:

**Nbjd: **Well, maybe this Klaine sweet moment is tipping to your scale of perfectness ;) Your vote has won! Enjoy (:

**Sadiejane35**: Thank you! And there is only more to come from here. Yes I do like both ups and down with characters but not all the freaking time like one canon couple that won't be mentioned…ahem. By your review I understand you vote for both…so half of your vote has won! Ha-ha enjoy! (: and as for the rest of your vote, angst will be coming in the later chapters (;


	10. Chapter 10: The New Chapter Literally

**A/N: Hello! Chapter Ten of "Finding Courage" is here! We finally get to find out when Kurt leaves the ER! I've made a decision to update ALL my stories on Mondays. I don't know what day it is where you are reading this from now, but if it's not Monday…check back a week from today for you! Enjoy! (:**

Finding Courage

Chapter Ten: A New Chapter (Literally)

A month. Wow. I can't believe it's been an entire month since Kurt has been in this over-night E.R. room. And today? He's coming home! I set up a "Welcome Home" party and I can't wait for Kurt to see it! I ordered all of his favorite 'hors d'oeuvres, some cake, cheesecake, and I invited all of his New Directions friends and some of the Warblers.

I was sitting in my chair while Kurt sat in his hospital bed, ecstatic he was out of that 'damn atrocious gown', as he so put it, and into some clothes of his choosing. Burt, Carole, and Finn were at his house getting the party ready so it was just me with Kurt while Dr. Villa gave me a list of bewares and make sures to give to Burt.

We still have to come back once a week for Kurt's cut cleansing and anal tests, but he has to wear a bandage around his stomach. At first, Dr. Villa didn't want Kurt to go home until his cut and internal bruises completely healed, but Kurt begged and promised he wouldn't do anything to harm himself and he would come back once a week.

He's slowly healing still so he has lots of medication to take at home to help with his internal bruises, stomach cut, legs and panic attacks. This means, his emotions will be the equivalent of a pregnant woman, again.

After Dr. Villa repeated a lot of rules for Kurt over again, he gave me Kurt's crutches and I placed them beside the bed for him. Kurt took a deep breath, staring at the crutches. He hesitated but eventually gripped the handles and slowly stood up. I continued to hold the crutches in place, unsure if he would be able to walk since he hasn't walked for an entire month.

"You steady?" I asked nervously. He nodded. I slowly let go of the crutches and stood a couple inches back, ready to catch him if he fell. Dr. Villa stood on the other side of the bed; also cautiously watching Kurt.

He took a step with his right foot and moved his right crutch along with it. He gasped from excitement and I saw a small smile on his face as he focused on his left leg.

"I'm doing it! Ah, it still hurts though…" His face tensed up in pain.

"Just take your time, alright? Don't want anything to hurt." I inched closer to him and rubbed his shoulders, comfortingly.

"How is your depression, Kurt? Do you still need to see Meghan?" Dr. Villa asked and glanced at his clipboard in his hands.

"No, I'm fine," Kurt replied immediately, slowly stepping with the crutches.

"We'll see how it goes," said Dr. Villa and wrote something on the paper for me to give to Burt while Kurt ignored him.

"Ow! Ow!" Kurt whimpered after he took a few more steps. He lowered his head and stopped moving, trying to rest his weight on the crutches.

"Just slow down, maybe you're going a little too fast." It came out more of a question since I had no idea what I was doing. I gripped his shoulders, making sure he wouldn't fall.

"I am! If I slowed down anymore I wouldn't be moving!" Kurt snapped at me. I swallowed thickly and slowed down the movement of my hands.

"Are you _sure_ you want to leave Kurt?" Dr. Villa asked.

"Yes! Can I…what about a wheelchair? I can work my way up to crutches." Kurt bit his lip. He told me before he didn't want to leave this hospital in a wheel chair; he wanted to walk out. So he could have a remainder of his dignity.

Dr. Villa nodded at once. "Sure! Sure. Let me just go get one! As soon as you're on your crutches bring it back, alright? Hospital property." Dr. Villa pointed at him and left the room hurriedly.

"Here, let me help you sit down." I grabbed Kurt's arm and let him lean his weight against me instead of the crutches as I carefully walked him back to the bed.

He sighed defeated and sat down. I sat down beside him and comfortingly rubbed his knee when I saw his head lowered and he was wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly.

"It's probably just my emotions but I didn't think it would ever hurt that bad to _walk_ I just…I can't believe I have to use a wheelchair." his body tensed at my affectionate touch and he scooted away from me. I frowned, I should have known that would make him uncomfortable and hyperventilate. I'm glad he moved away though to stop the hyperventilating.

"Now you know how Artie feels…but it's only temporary Kurt. You'll have physical therapy after you can walk on your crutches well for a while. It's all part of the process right? You'll be fine." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

He shrugged and still seemed unsure. I opened my mouth to say something comforting but the door opened, revealing Dr. Villa and a wheel chair. He wheeled it beside the bed. I watched Kurt as he stood up and stumbled his way into the chair.

After receiving Burt's note and saying good-bye to Dr. Villa, and Mindy and Kelly on my way out, I proudly drove Kurt home.

I pulled up in his driveway fifteen minutes later and smiled to myself when I saw everyone parked around back, as I suggested, so Kurt couldn't see. He sighed happily at the sight of his house.

"Ready to go in?" I smiled. He smiled back and nodded eagerly. I brought his wheelchair to the passenger door side and he lowered himself in. I was locking my car door when Kurt began to wheel himself to the porch.

"Hey! Hey, where are you going?" I asked him and hurriedly chased him to the porch.

"Inside?" He laughed.

"Well, wait for me at least." I breathed out and gripped the back of his wheelchair.

"Aw, were you wanting to wheel me inside?" he smiled.

"A little." I shrugged and gave him a peck on the lips.

The Hummel's didn't have a ramp on their porch so I had to muster up some muscles and push Kurt's wheelchair up the steps. I breathed heavily and wiped my forehead after we reached the top of the porch. Which were only four steps.

"Out of shape?" he winked.

"Shut up. You try pushing your boyfriend in a wheelchair up these steps…" I panted.

"I could since you're so tiny." He shrugged and smiled.

"God, you're mean." I placed my hand over my chest, acting offended and he laughed loudly.

"Can we please go inside? I probably can't push my way up into the house." Kurt stared at the front door and I nodded instantly and gripped the back of his wheelchair. The Hummel's porch had a step from the front door to the porch so it isn't level into their home.

I turned the knob and it opened gently. Excitement bubbled in my stomach as I heaved Kurt into the den and pushed him all the way in.

"Why is it so dark in here?" Kurt wondered out loud. I closed the door behind me and I heard Kurt gasp when I turned the lights on.

There was a large banner that said "WELCOME HOME, KURT!", balloons everywhere, and a million other decorations scattered across the den. Well not a million, but it seemed that way when I purchased them all.

Instantly everyone jumped out of random places shouting "Surprise!"

I stood beside Kurt and saw he was shocked, covering his mouth with both his hands. His eyes started to gleam as one of his friends shouted, "Welcome home, Kurt!"

Everyone smiled brightly at Kurt but I could see the sadness in their faces that they tried to hide by seeing him in a wheelchair, even Artie.

He shook his head and finally was able to speak after his surprise. "I can't believe this…Who did this?" he asked.

"Blaine did!" said Burt and I blushed a little.

Kurt glared at me. "Why would you do this?" he turned his wheelchair abruptly from me and wheeled down the hallway and into a bathroom. Everyone's mouths seemed to gape open at Kurt's reaction. People usually don't react this way at their own surprise parties. Well, this is kind of embarrassing.

"Something wrong?" Carole asked.

I shook my head in reply. "Everyone stay. I need to talk to him. He has a lot of medicine going through his body, messing with his hormones; his emotions are everywhere just…try to stay in one place, guys." I walked in Kurt's direction and knocked on the door to the bathroom he had just entered.

"Who is it?" he sobbed.

"It's me, Blaine." I sighed.

"Leave me alone! Can't you tell I'm upset?" he cried out. Yes, Kurt I can tell you're upset. And other than your hormones, I have no idea why you are.

"Kurt, come on. Why are you so upset?" I asked softly.

"Why would you do this to me?" he sobbed quietly.

I scoffed, "It's a celebration! You're out of the hospital, all your friends wanted to see you, we're all happy that you're out, so why not?"

I heard him groan loudly in the room and then he shouted, "Just get in here, Blaine!"

I sighed and pushed the door open. I peered inside to look for him; he had his wheelchair pushed against the sink and his arms crossed over his stomach, like he was trying to hug himself.

I stepped inside and slowly closed the door behind me. I dropped to my knees in-front of his wheelchair and took one of his hands.

"Please talk to me, baby. Why are you so upset?" I murmured to him.

He shook his head and hiccupped, more tears escaping his eyes. I reached up and cupped his face with my hands and wiped his tears away as he began speaking.

"It's just…they all saw me like this all…in a wheel chair and you should've seen their faces when they saw the chair and…their all going to ask me about what happened and I was so happy to get away from that and…"

"Hey they are _not_ going to ask you about it, alright? I even gave them restrictions on touching you, okay? If they do anything that makes you uncomfortable you let me know. And as for the wheelchair, they had to see it sometime. Look, they all went out of their way to make this special for you. You don't want to let them down, right?"

Kurt shrugged, while trying to look away from me.

"They all love you. That's why they're here. We have to face the music," I added and rubbed his wet cheeks with my thumbs. He breathed in a shaky breathe and nodded, agreeing with me.

I smiled and kissed his forehead, then grabbed a tissue box by the sink and handed it to him.

"I am happy that you did this for me though, Blaine. It's really sweet and…thoughtful," he said while grabbing a pile of tissues and wiping his face and underneath his eyes.

I smiled broadly and put this tissue box back in its place. Kurt gets mad when I don't put things where they go.

"Well your welcome I just…I love seeing you happy. I didn't think it would result like this though."

We both laughed and he reached his arms out. I leant forward and gave him a gentle hug. I felt his chest move slowly and his breath in my ear. "Okay I—I'll go out there. There's food right?" Kurt mumbled into my hair.

I nodded. "And presents," I said, moving back. His face lit up.

"Come on, you want me to wheel you out or do you want to do it?"

Kurt smiled, "It's a pretty tight squeeze in here. Could you wheel me to the den?"

"Of course," I replied, smiling back.

I wheeled him back into the den and soon everyone crowded around Kurt and was talking to him. I've never seen a bigger smile on his face. Artie tried to show him some moves on the wheelchair and Finn gave him a giant card we all signed. His tears started to fall but he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.

Throughout the party Kurt didn't have any outbursts which relieved me. Sure he cried some when he talked to his friends but I expected that anyway. Kurt's an emotional person.

An hour passed and everyone stood in groups talking and eating Kurt's cake. I was sitting beside Kurt but he left to go to the bathroom so I rotated to the other side of the room and stood around some of the Warblers I invited.

"He looks great," David told me when I walked up.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Was that sarcastic?"

"Yeah because if it was, Blaine will go all protective bitch on you." Wes said, attacking his slice of cake with a fork.

"Yeah he stayed with him every day for a month, spent the night a few times." Nick added, and sipped on some strawberry punch that Carole made. David looked between Wes and Nick, and then looked at me a little taken back and frightened to say the least.

"No! I swear man. He _really_ does. He's been through…" he moved his face closer and lowered his voice "An attack and rape and now he's just…it looks like nothing's bothering him. It's amazing." He leaned against the wall again.

I looked around to make sure none of the New Directions gossips were around like Mercedes, Tina, Rachel…basically all the girls and Finn. They weren't though.

"Well he's pretty strong. He's had to go to a psychiatrist for depression problems though. I think that's helped him a lot. I haven't seen any depression signs in a while," I said to the group of Warblers I was standing around.

They all smiled at me happily and continued to eat their cake while Wes continued to stab at his cake.

"Can you not eat cake like a person?" David rolled his eyes.

"I'm not eating cake like a person?" Wes almost laughed and I did.

"You never eat cake like a person," I said.

"Yeah you just…go at it like a cave man while we all eat ours elegantly," said Nick and we all laughed. Except for Wes.

"Excuse me? It's a surprise party; I don't need to eat elegantly. It's not like we're meeting the president and dressed up to nine's." said Wes. David spit his punch back into the little plastic cup from laughter.

"If we were, you'd be in trouble." I winked at him.

Wes opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but his gaze darted off of me and he cleared his throat. I looked behind me and saw Kurt wheeling his way towards us. I smiled; this is the only time where I'm taller than him.

"So..." Kurt said slowly, grinning. I looked at him waiting for him to finish but he never did. He just stared at me, smiling shyly.

"What is it? Oh, do you need help with something?" I asked and nudged Wes to get him and the others away from us so we could speak privately. His head jerked up and his mouth formed and 'O', and started grabbing the other Warbler's sleeves.

"No! I'm good!" Kurt replied, mainly to the Warblers. They shrugged and stayed where they were. "I just—you mentioned earlier about…" he trailed off again.

I just had an embarrassing light bulb moment and smiled at his adorableness."Oh yeah! I didn't forget! You want to open them now?" I asked him.

"Kind of." Kurt shrugged with a smile.

I chuckled and finished up my food, then threw it away in the nearest garbage can.

Kurt had a ton of presents.

Some were gift cards and I could tell Kurt was a little disappointed he couldn't use them yet. Well, he _could_ go into a store in a wheelchair, he just doesn't want to. Others were movies or tickets to plays, lots of things that he absolutely adored.

I noticed Rachel didn't seem to be herself during the party. She wasn't the cheerful, loud, never-stop-speaking person she usually is. Finn seemed to be a little more cheerful than Rachel, but throughout the party I could tell something was bothering them, and I knew exactly what it was.

I never told Kurt about it, or asked Kurt the questions dad wanted me to. But we'll have time to do that later, right? I just want to focus on celebrating Kurt right now, he deserves this.

ooOOoo

"Baby I've got to go; my mom and dad will kill me if I stay out later than promised."

Kurt and I were on the den's couch watching T.V. by ourselves. It was pretty late and the rest of the Hummel's and Finn were already in bed, trusting that I wouldn't take advantage of Kurt right now.

"I know I just really don't want you to go," Kurt said from my shoulder.

I sighed and ran my fingers through her hair. He hummed softly and I kissed him on-top of his head. "I don't want to go either…do you need help getting into bed?"

"I can get myself into bed, Blaine."

I checked the time on my watch one more time. A minute passed over the time I told mom and dad that I would already be on the road. I bit my lip anxiously.

"Okay…well I better leave right now. If I don't they'll—"

"It's okay. I get it. Just call me when you get into bed, okay?" Kurt gripped my hand.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Okay. One last kiss?"

"Of course." Kurt smirked and leaned forward. Our foreheads touched and he sighed contently, his eyes barely open, from fatigue probably and for the both of us finally getting some alone time at his house after the huge party.

I captured his soft lips in a slow, lingering kiss. I cupped his cheek and stroked it with my thumb, his fell into my touch and almost fell asleep on the spot.

"Well I'll be going now. Are you sure you don't need any help?" I asked him.

"I'm sure. My room's right down the hall and my wheelchair's two feet away from me." Kurt shrugged.

I nodded, "Okay. I'll call you right when I get home and you better be in bed, mister." I pointed at him. He laughed and raised his eyebrows.

"I promise." He grinned.

I put on my blazer and pecked him on the lips one last time. "Okay, I swear I'm leaving now. Love you."

"Love you too." I heard Kurt say before I closed the front door behind me.

It took over an hour to get home in Westerville and when I pulled up in my driveway, I was surprised the lights were still on. I guess I won't have to use my key…I checked the time on my radio one last time. 11:00? Why the hell are they still up? I sighed and shook my head.

When I walked through the front door, I saw my father sitting on the couch with a bunch of papers spread out over the coffee table. Probably preparing work for his next case.

He looked up to glance at me with a short nod and then looked down again. "Hey Blaine."

"Hey dad…do you know it's eleven?" I walked over to where he was seated.

He nodded in reply.

"How was Kurt's party?" he asked and began to type some kind of legal stuff into his lap top.

"Oh it was great! Really fun too! He loved it," I replied and bit my lip to try to keep my excitement down.

"Kurt like your gift?"

I nodded but then realized he couldn't see me. "Oh yeah he loves fashion shows. He was so ecstatic he was practically jumping in his wheelchair. You know…if his legs weren't…broken." I swallowed thickly.

Dad grimaced, not knowing how to reply. Although it looked like he wanted to say something.

"Well I—I better go to bed. I promised Kurt I'd call him when I got home. I want to see if he's settled in his bed." I gave him a short nod and turned on my heel towards the stairs.

"Wait! Blaine! I need to….to tell you something." Dad walked over to me, pushing his laptop aside.

I raised my eyebrows in interest, "Yeah?"

"I just...I want to tell you what a great son you are. There are not a lot of teenagers out there I know who would spend every day with someone in the hospital and sacrifice their own time and sleep to make sure that said person is comfortable. That's real love." Dad grinned at me.

My heart leaped at his words. All my life I tried to compete with Cooper so dad could notice me, say congratulations to me once, and when I came out that I was gay and even announced I had a boyfriend I knew dad would never appreciate me.

Now he does, and accepts me.

"Thanks dad I—that means a lot to me that you think I'm a good son." I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth to stop the tears.

"You're an _amazing_ son. Come here." He opened his arms for me to hug him. My mouth gaped open and the tears started steaming down my face.

Dad never hugs anyone. I don't think I've ever even see him hug mom. Now he wants to _hug_…_me_?

I almost attacked him and cried into his chest. After a moment or so, when my crying settled down he pulled away and offered me a smile I knew he was uncomfortable making, he doesn't really smile that much.

"You better go call Kurt," said dad. I nodded and walked away. "Good night, Blaine!" I heard him call out to me from the living room.

"Night, dad!" I called back from the stairs.

When I reached my bedroom and stripped down to my pajamas, I threw my sheets back and dialed Kurt. It rang a couple times before I heard Kurt's soft voice that made me smile instantly.

"Hey Blaine."

"Hey baby, I'm home. You in bed yet?" I asked him, pulling the covers over my head and putting him on speakerphone.

"Yup. Just got in bed actually. Thank you so much for the party today it was so thoughtful and it just…made me fall in love with you all over again. You're like the best boyfriend ever." I swore I could hear him smile through the phone.

"Aw, when I'm not being a dick right?" I chuckled.

"Blaine! Why did you have to ruin it?" I heard his laugh I love so much.

I laughed with him, "I'm not! But thanks Kurt; I just love seeing you happy."

"Oh! Hey I got some great news!"

"What is it?" I smiled.

"Dad is going to let me go to school tomorrow! Isn't that great?"

I took in a deep breath. Oh god, Kurt, the only out and proud gay student at McKinley, pushing a wheelchair into the halls of McKinley, having ranges of emotions? Here we go.

ooOOoo

Chapter Reviews from Chapter Nine:

**Sarahamanda: **Thanks! Here's the next update! Enjoy! (:

**Nbjd: **Thank you! And yes Kurt and Blaine are the cutest things alive! (: ha-ha but here's the next chapter! Enjoy! (:

**Candy Criss: **Thank you! This chapter includes two increasing plot points: We will hear from Rachel's dads and what happened to them quite soon. Also, Blaine's dad accepting him? You hear more from that in this chapter and obviously he didn't accept him right away but now he's starting to accept him! (:

**A/N: Don't forget to check out my other stories: "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" Which all three of my stories are updated on Mondays! So check back next week! And don't forget to review! Love and Klainebows to all! (:**


	11. Chapter 11: The Surprises

**A/N: Happy Update Monday! Chapter Eleven of "Finding Courage" has arrived! Thank you for the reviews and follows. You all are so great! (: Don't forget to check out my other ongoing stories which I also update every Monday: "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" Well that's all for now, enjoy! (:**

**Warning! Swearing and boy on boy make out.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Eleven: The Surprises

I was nervous for Kurt today.

Like, extremely, jumpy, panicky, yelling-at-Wes-every-time-he-brought-up-his-stupid-rules-he-could-indicate-for-the-gavel nervous.

I heard from Kurt a few times this morning, like when he told me when he took his pain medication and when he texted me he was wheeling into the school. After that I had to turn my phone off during my Dalton classes because I've got in trouble before for texting Kurt and not paying attention.

Right after school, when I was walking outside Dalton's large, wide, double doors, I turned on my phone without any hesitation. When my phone's menu showed on the screen, I was instantly frightened.

I had three missed calls and five new text messages from Kurt:

I didn't have any bad things happen today other than Karofsky telling me that I deserved this and he threw me in the dumpster. I was late to class because Puck had to help me out and help me find my wheelchair. I have detention tonight. _ Sent: 8:25 A.M_

I yelled at my English teacher and may have not used some appropriate school words. I have two nights of detention.  _Sent: 10: 02 A.M_

I slapped Finn in the face during Chemistry. I have three nights of detention. _Sent: 1:10 P.M._

I punched Rachel during Glee club today. I have four nights of detention. _Sent: 4:02 P.M_

Hey could you pick me up after detention is out tonight? Text me back when you get out of school, love you! _Sent: 4:22 P.M_

Oh. My. God. Really, Kurt?

I groaned as I replied to him.

**Do you want me to wait to see you until I pick you up tonight? **_Sent: 4:32 P.M_

I decided to not question him about his sudden and strange detentions. I looked around the large parking lot. Why can't I leave the dorms early and get a space towards the front? I need to remind myself of that. When I finally found my car, I felt my pocket vibrate when I unlocked it.

I unlocked my cell phone's screen:

Yeah. I don't want you to waste too much gas. See you then? _Sent: 4:36 P.M_

**Yeah I'll see you then. I love you baby! **_Sent: 4:37 P.M_

I love you too! (: Oh! I got this new strawberry scented shoe polish! You should bring your shoes tonight!

I huffed and rolled my eyes as I reversed my car. He sure has a lot of explaining to do.

ooOOoo

Kurt's detention scheduled to get out at 6:30. I pulled into the parking lot at 6:28 and texted him to let him know that I'm here. After two minutes passed by of me drumming my fingernails on the steering wheel and trying to figure out what to say to Kurt, I saw a bunch of kids came out of the school's front doors.

I squinted and saw some giant wheels rolling on the parking lot and instantly noticed Kurt. He was talking with Puck as he wheeled his way down the parking lot, looking for my car. When he saw me he waved at me and wheeled over to my passenger door. I had my head on the steering wheel, still trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say.

"Hey Blaine," I heard him breathe out after struggling to get in the passenger seat. He placed his wheelchair in the backseat and closed his passenger door. I looked over at him and he was smiling at me, clicking his seatbelt.

"Can you please explain to me what happened?" I asked him irritated.

"I got detention." Kurt shrugged and looked at me, like I should know why he was there.

"Yeah I _know_ but okay…I _get_ tonight's detention. That wasn't your fault, it was Karofsky's. Explain this one though…" I scrolled through my message inbox and clicked on the second one. I showed it to him. Kurt read it and bit his lip.

"I may have gotten mad at the English teacher…" he mumbled, his gaze averting to his lap instead of my phone's screen.

"Why? What did she do?" I asked him loudly, kind of getting angry.

"Okay well first of all…she had no idea what she was talking about. She knows _nothing_ about English and when I merely wanted to _correct_ her she started yelling and I may have started yelling back and told her that I didn't know how the fuck to learn in her class if she doesn't teach us shit—"

I gasped. I never heard Kurt use such fowl language at a _teacher_ of all people. Well I've heard him say that to me, Burt, and some employees at the ER but not a teacher.

"Kurt! You can't talk to teachers that way! What were you thinking?"

Kurt groaned and threw his head back against the seat, aggravated.

"I _wasn't_! I've never yelled at a teacher before! Except for Mr. Shue one time…but it just…it came out and I couldn't stop it!" Kurt threw his arms up and let them fall back against his thighs loudly

I bit my lip. Wait a second…he _really_ doesn't have a clue as to why he yelled at his English teacher? Oh god, could it be his emotions?

"Did you start crying afterwards?" I turned in my seat to face him.

He sat still and frowned uncomfortably. "Maybe…" he replied faintly.

"It's your hormones isn't it? This medicine?" Kurt nodded guiltily.

I frowned and swallowed thickly; I turned around in my seat and stared straight ahead of me instead of at Kurt.

"I _knew_ this was going to happen. I _knew_ when you went back to school that your emotions would get the better of you. Is that also what happened when you slapped Finn and punched Rachel?" I turned to look at him.

His eyes were gleaming and he was sucking in his lips, trying to stop the tears. Oh no, his emotions again. He nodded guiltily at me and started sobbing, "I'm sorry Blaine I don't know what to say—"

I took a shaking hand of his and gently stroked it, speaking softly to him. "Hey, hey. Don't cry, Kurt. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I should have known it's not your fault."

"But it _is_ my fault!" Kurt yelled.

"Hey listen. _None_ of this is your fault. We have to figure out how to make this work," I said gently.

"_Ugh_! How? If I got detention for four nights in a row for one day, what's going to happen tomorrow? Do you want me to not take my medication?" Kurt's voice got even louder.

"No but—"

"Then _what_?" He screamed, as his emotional outbursts started to get louder. He continued to shake so I gripped his hand tighter but still trying to comfort these outbursts.

"Kurt, _stop_ yelling. Do your teachers know that you have…_problems_?" I hesitated a bit for the word I knew he hated.

"No," he replied coldly.

"Well, why not?" my eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"Because they'll put me in the special ed class! I _can't_ go in there; it'll be on my school records! They put every kid who has the slightest problem in there!" Kurt screamed.

Huh. I didn't think they would put him in those. I could understand how humiliating that could be for him but still…he can't go to school every day and treat people like this.

I shook my head at him. "But your detentions are going to be on your school records too, Kurt. Pick which one you would rather have on there: special ed classes until you completely heal or hundreds of detentions!"

Kurt's eyes started to gleam again as his emotions changed pace. He turned around in his seat and crossed his arms. He looked out the window to avoid me, I noticed him wipe some tears that escaped his eyes down his cheek as he sniffed.

I sighed and scratched my unruly hair. God this is a mess. I really wish he could heal like right now, that could make this entire problem go away. I looked over at him and his head was lying back on the seat, I thought he was asleep but I heard him sniff.

"Kurt I'm sorry I shouldn't talk to you that way. I'm your boyfriend not your dad I just…I care _so_ much about you and I just want you to—"

"Just drive home." Kurt shook his head and interrupted me harshly.

"But I'm sorry and I—"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'll just be this crazy, gay, paralyzed kid in special ed and then I'll _really_ have no life. I'm going to get enough crap from dad when I get home so just…drive me home. Please." Kurt begged.

"He'll understand," I said softly to him, rubbing his arm.

He jerked his arm away from me. "No he won't. At least with you it's because you understand me but dad won't he'll just…think I'm being a bitch again."

I sighed defeat and started my car. Just when I thought things could be great for Kurt when we left the hospital, a new range of problems come to us. Can't we ever catch a break? This is so exhausting.

I drove to Kurt's house and helped him in his wheelchair silently; we didn't speak at all on the car ride home. I asked for music and Kurt told me a flat out 'no'. Kurt loves music, so when Kurt doesn't want to listen to music on any occasion, he's _really_ worked up about something.

When I walked inside, wheeling him in-front of me, the house looked empty. We heard the washing machine so Carole must be downstairs with the laundry, no one was in the living room so we figured Finn was upstairs, I had no idea where Burt was though.

"Kurt and Blaine?" we heard Burt from the kitchen.

I sighed. Here we go.

"Yeah it's us!" I replied and Kurt bit his lip nervously, and then hung his down. I got on my knees beside his wheelchair and spoke softly to him and grabbed his hand.

"Hey let's just face the music and try to figure something out. Then I'll give you some more medicine and we can go to your room, okay? We can do whatever you want." I smiled to him.

He smiled back at me, the muscles in his hand relaxing, but soon shook his head.

"You don't have to…you should go home."

"No, I _want_ to be with you. Let's do this, okay?" I stood up and kissed his forehead.

He nodded sadly and wheeled himself into the kitchen with me close behind.

Burt was sitting at the kitchen table going through documents, probably something for his shop. He looked up and I and Kurt both jumped a little at the stern look in his face. I saw him glance at Kurt and his face immediately softened a little.

"Can one of you explain what happened today? Kurt you have always been a model student and usually voice your opinion but _never_ do the following that I received from Principal Figgins: Caused chaos in class, disrespectful towards others, students _and_ teachers, fighting with physical contact, using foul language, and thirty minutes late for class."

Kurt and I both stood—well, he sat—in front of Burt speechless. Burt sat there staring at us, looking for answers, we were just scared shitless, and because Kurt and I both knew he was going to freak out.

"I don't know what happened and I'm really sorry dad," Kurt managed to speak up. I could tell he was trying to hold his crying down to a minimum. Even though he was honestly scared out of his mind and his emotions are out of whack.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, kid. I'm not going to slash your throat so please stop looking at me like that but I just don't understand any of this." Burt sighed hopelessly, shaking his head and rested his forehead on one of his rough, dirty hands.

I spoke up for Kurt, "It's his emotions, Burt; his hormones. The medicine is messing with him like usual. That's pretty much all it is." I shrugged, Kurt bit his lip nervously.

He frowned, adjusting to what I told him, but still looked confused. "But you haven't had an outburst like this for a couple weeks at the most…" he trailed off.

"Well Meghan says it's because most he was adjusting to certain situations and he hasn't had anything to really upset him. But now at McKinley…it's kind of a new level of situations," I assured him.

"Is this true?" But asked a little skeptical.

Kurt nodded furiously. "Yeah, dad, when I yelled at Miss. Sully and slapped Finn and—"

"What?" Burt's eyes grew wide.

"And punched Rachel—"

"What?" Burt almost laughed, agreeing Rachel isn't easy to get along with.

"I just…It came over me and it happened before I could think about it. I—I don't know what to say I'm just really sorry." Kurt shrugged.

Whatever Kurt managed to get out, he just seemed so confused and hopeless and kept apologizing. I feel so bad for him; he's acting out all the time and can't even control it. He doesn't want to behave like this but he does, there's nothing he can do about it.

"You didn't tell your teachers about all this, did you?" Burt asked, almost already knowing the answer if he knew his son well.

Kurt shook his head in reply.

Burt sighed at Kurt's decision and continued to bury his head in his palms.

"I don't want to go to special ed class. They'll put me in there when I tell them." Kurt explained, not as emotional as he was before when he talked to me about special ed. He's probably had some time to reconsider going in there.

"Don't you think it won't be _that_ bad? You'll be the best one in there grade wise and it'll only be temporary. I mean it's either that or home-schooling." Burt shrugged.

"I guess I could…go to special ed class." Kurt groaned, not crazy about the decision but if I knew Kurt at all—I know he doesn't want to give up singing, and he'd have to do that if he home-schooled.

"Good. We'll get there early tomorrow and I'll talk with Principal Figgins." Burt decided and stacked his documents in a neat pile, getting up from the kitchen table.

Kurt nodded slowly, "Okay. I'm sorry dad—"

"It's okay, bud. It's all going to work out." Burt gently gripped Kurt's shoulder with his hand and headed downstairs.

"Come on; let's take your medicine now, Kurt." I suggested and headed over to the kitchen table. After I sorted out all of Kurt pills, I noticed he finally wheeled himself beside me.

I laid out ten different pills on the kitchen table—it was shorter for him to reach than the counter—and gave him a glass of water. I sat in one of the table's chairs and waited. It took him a good two minutes, considering two of the pills looked like horse pills to me, but he finally finished them all and gave me the glass.

I took a Diet Coke out of the refrigerator for him and a regular for me. I gave him his drink as we headed towards his bedroom. I poked my head towards the entrance of downstairs and let Burt know we were going to Kurt's room, he of course told me to leave the door open.

When we reached his room, I helped settle Kurt onto his bed gently and kissed him sweetly before laying on the bed with him. I lay close to him and turned on my side, facing him. He looked down at his fingers, which was splayed out on his stomach, playing with the material of his shirt.

"So…what do you want to do?" I asked him, trailing a finger of mine slowly and carefully down his chest. He shrugged with a frown.

"I don't know." He mumbled.

"Come on, you're not still upset are you?" I asked him worriedly. He shrugged. Yup, he is.

I groaned. "Kurt these emotions are _not_ your fault. I wish you would stop stressing over it." I said gently and held one of his hands that rested on his stomach, gently rubbing his knuckles with my thumb.

"I just…I _know_ they aren't my fault and I _know_ I shouldn't get worked up over what I can't handle but…I _hate_ that I do all this. I wish I could go into school, have a nice day, and not act like a freaky, hormonal, mental patient. You should have seen the way everyone looked at me. Even Mercedes and Tina…they all looked at me like I was some _weirdo_." Kurt threw his head back against the pillows and groaned.

"They just don't know how to take this in, that's all. Today was horrifying for the both of us. Everything was new to you, Karofsky and all the other neanderthals' and closet freaks were there, and come on its _high school_. I bet tomorrow will be better for you. Your friends will be more supportive of you, even if you have to go into special ed." I made a mental note to text all the New Directions and ask what the hell is wrong with them and to support Kurt.

Kurt smiled weakly up at me, then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, how was it horrifying for _you_?"

I shrugged shyly. "I just…I was worried about you. I didn't want anything to go wrong." Kurt smiled at me and looked like he was going to go 'aw' "and then it did," I sighed.

Kurt chuckled a little.

I rested my chin on his shoulder and we sat in the quiet, I wrapped my arm around his waist and he relaxed in my touch.

"You want me to do something to make you feel better? A massage? A hot bath? A song? Oh, I could get you a cheesecake, a _whole_ cheesecake, Kurt!" I emphasized excitedly and he laughed loudly.

"No it's fine. I do know one way you could make me feel a little better though." He shrugged innocently and then looked at me with that devilish smile.

"What?" I asked slowly, a little afraid of his devilish smile.

"Well, you're my boyfriend, could you kiss me?" he asked so innocently, I smiled down at him.

"Definitely can do that," I replied and raised my eyebrows flirtatiously. "Just a kiss? Make you feel better?" I asked, releasing his hand and cupping his cheek.

He hummed contently and relaxed into my touch. "A long one, yes. I love kissing you Blaine, I love _you_."

"I love you too, baby." I breathed on his lips before capturing his lips into mine. He let out a short moan as I continued to kiss him. My fingers moved upward from his neck and gently raked through his hair. He sighed in my mouth at the affection as his head fell back into my palm, our kiss beginning to deepen.

His chest was starting to heave fast as was mine, our lips began to move together more hurriedly and sensual. I don't remember him putting his arms around my neck but they were there and pulling tighter as our kiss began to deepen even more.

I don't think our make out was out of hormones or lust but just…missing each other and need possibly. There's no way I could kiss him like this in the ER, and by the way he's kissing me back, it seems like he needs to be kissed this way, almost as an affirmation.

It felt so good for us to be kissing each other like this, in the midst of all the crap Kurt goes through, he deserves affection. He deserves so much more than what life has given him the past month.

Our lips finally departed and we both were panting for breath, my forehead resting on his, breathing on his lips. "I wanna taste you," I moaned before thinking, trying to stable my breathing.

For a moment Kurt didn't reply, just kept breathing, then his eyes grew wide and he leaned back from me a little. "What?"

I stared at him confused then understand what he meant. My eyes grew wide too.

"No, no Kurt. _Tongue_, your tongue," I replied fast.

"Oh." He blushed, as did I. Our breathing began to slow down and continue to a normal rate. "That should be okay." He nodded at me.

"You sure?" I asked him carefully, placing my hand on his chest.

"I'm _sure_, Blaine. Go ahead." He nodded and wrapped one arm around my back and with the other he held the back of my neck, forcing my lips onto his.

We continued to kiss again and I was careful to not press any part of my body onto him. As our kissing sped up once more, I licked his lips, asking an entrance for my tongue—although I already knew the answer— and they parted for me. I almost danced for joy, getting to taste that oh so talented tongue after a whole month.

I carefully slid my tongue in and we both moaned quietly. Well he moaned quietly, I may have been a smudge louder.

Oh god…that taste .Kurt's taste. Kurt's mouth. He was a little tense at first but he soon relaxed, enjoying the familiarity of it. I decided to take a little risk and raked my tongue against his teeth. He let out a short little moan and gently sucked on my tongue. Oh god. Kurt is sucking on my tongue. Now it was my turn to moan at Kurt's daring choice. Oh god…I really need to cool down. When he released me tongue, I gave him one last kiss and lowered my head onto his chest, breathing deeply.

He took my hand and brought it up close to where my face was resting on his chest. I felt his pillow above me make shift as he threw his head back, panting.

"Feel better?" I smirked, knowing he couldn't see me. I could feel his chest move up and down rapidly against my face as he panted for air.

"Oh yes."

Chapter Replies from Chapter Ten:

**Sarahamanda:** Thank you! Here's another update! Enjoy! (:

**Mynamjo: **Yes, Kurt has been through a lot. But as you see in this chapter, things are going to be hard for him. There will be further angst but further progression as well! And yes Kurt and Blaine love and trust each other very much. Because they are so friggin perfect ;)

**Nbjd: **Yes, Blaine's father in this fic is a lot different than in my other one. So I have to keep reminding myself that when I write the two fics, and yes they deserve all the sweetness in the world! But in this chapter, as you have read, Kurt returned to school and it didn't go over too well.

**A/N: Another update will come next Monday so check back for a new chapter! In the next chapter we might hear from Blaine's dad or what happened to Hiram and Leroy since none of that is discussed in this chapter. So don't forget to REVIEW! I love hearing your thoughts on the story and plotlines. Love and Klainebows to all!**


	12. Chapter 12: The Fear

**A/N: Happy Update Monday! Chapter Twelve of "Finding Courage" is up! If you haven't already, check out my other stories: "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight", they are updated on Monday's also. So this chapter has some great plot point in it. This is a VERY important chapter. So continue and enjoy! (:**

**Warning: Swearing and mentions of a sexual assault**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Twelve: The Fear

After school finished at Dalton the next day, Warbler practice started in thirty minutes so I didn't have much time to relax until I had to head to the music hall. I walked outside the school and found Wes, David, and Thad in one of the student hang outs, called a "Trio".

It's a little clearing in the center of some trees located between the school and some dorms. I decided to sit on one of the wooden benches in the Trio that was close to Wes, David, and Thad, while they went over the agenda for today's practice. I took my phone out of my pocket and turned it on.

I was relieved to find no freaky texts from Kurt; just he missed and loved me. I went into my recent calls and found Kurt's number; I pressed the green button on my phone and waited for him to pick up. I glanced over at the Warbler Council; they were in a heated discussion over a group number. I rolled my eyes at them, Wes is so uptight.

"Hey Blaine!" I heard Kurt's cheery voice when he picked up. I sighed relief that he's happy.

"Hey babe, what's up? I wanted to see how school went today," I said to Kurt.

The Warbler Council eyed me strangely when I said the word 'babe', obviously thinking I was talking to them. I mouth "Kurt" and pointed to my phone. They nodded and went back to their business.

"Oh, it was okay. I didn't get detention but I had to go in the special Ed classes today… Principal Figgins said that would be the best alternative and all my other teachers agreed. I've got Glee in a couple minutes too so I understand you have to go here soon," Kurt replied.

"Yeah I know. Does Mr. Shue know about your…_problems_? So he won't send you to detention in case you punch someone again?" I asked carefully. Thad's head looked up at me confused. I ignored him, listening to Kurt.

"Yes, Principal Figgins told him about it. He understood and apologized for sending me to detention Thursday," Kurt replied.

"Well, do you still have to go? Now that they know why you acted out?" I asked him, taking my notebook out of my messenger bag, organizing my notes as I talked with him.

"Unfortunately, yes. It's in the system and they can't just take me out. It would be showing favoritism obviously. So I have to go tonight after Glee," Kurt grumbled.

I was disappointed he still had to go and these would be on his school records, but understood a little at "what's done is done", in public school terms.

"Well, tell me how your special Ed classes went. I know how hard that must have been for you," I said, looking for one of my notes from Calculus I couldn't seem to find.

"Well of course Karofsky makes a point of teasing me about it but the actual class isn't as bad as I thought. My special Ed teacher understands I don't have a permanent problem and it's easy to avoid it if she just ignores me when I act on it. The work is really easy obviously," Kurt explained.

"Did you have anything she had to ignore you about today?" I asked, finally finding the note I was looking for. It was in my sock for some reason. How the hell did it get in there? Oh yeah, Nick thought it would be funny to fly it across the room like a paper airplane, then I took it from him and stuffed it in my sock, and may have stuck my tongue out at him immaturely.

"Well I was angry at one of the special Ed students because they certainly had to bring up how delusional I am, like they were superior to me…and I may have yelled at him. I kept yelling and they all just sat there…waiting for me to stop. I finally did," Kurt explained.

My eyebrows furrowed in worry about yet another student taunting Kurt. "Did she not say anything to the kid who mistreated you?" I asked him.

"Yeah she told him to stop but he didn't and that's when my yelling came in," Kurt said.

I frowned at Kurt's causality of his words. "I'm sorry you had to put up with that," I apologized.

"Its fine, I'm used to it. Well, _I_ am. My emotions aren't. It's weird, it's like I'm talking about my emotions in third person," Kurt chuckled and I laughed with him.

It's strange that at times like this; Kurt can still manage to crack a joke about something. His strength amazes me. I was smiling, love-stricken at Kurt's personality that I couldn't see the Warbler Council standing in-front of me, moving their hands in a circular motion, mouthing at me to "shut up and let's go".

"Well Wes is telling me to get off the phone so I gotta go…want me to pick you up after detention tonight? If I leave Warbler practice right after it gets out I should make it to McKinley right as your detention is getting out," I offered.

"Kurt got detention?" David asked Wes. I put my finger up to my lips to get David to shut up while Kurt was talking.

"Yeah that sounds good. I'll see you then, I love you," Kurt softly said, the way that made my stomach get that little giddy feeling.

"I love you too, have fun in Glee. Bye." I hung up and turned my phone off once more for Warbler practice. I stood up and eyed at the boys who had their crosses arms at me and sighed, relieved I'm off the phone. "Can you guys not mind your own business?" I muttered to them, stuffing my organized notes back in my messenger bag as we walked off to the music hall together.

"How come Kurt got in detention?" Wes asked me.

I looked at him; he seemed genuinely worried instead of wanting the juicy details, unlike David. I let out a little smile at Wes; he's always been like a brother to me.

"It's a long story, come on I'll tell it to you later."

ooOOoo

Warbler practice was efficient. Every one of our numbers for Sectionals was established as well as the lead—which is me—and the blocking for everyone. It ended with David giving us all sheet music and reminding us to have the song down-pat by Thursday.

As soon as I got the okay to leave, by Wes' gavel, I raced out the door with my sheet music in one hand and messenger bag on my shoulder, I hurriedly unlocked my car which I beneficially left earlier this morning and parked closer to the entrance of the school.

As soon as I found a parking spot, Kurt was outside in the parking lot waiting for me. He wheeled his way into my car and told me he did nothing out of the ordinary in Glee today except for crying uncontrollably after all the Glee club members sang to him as a proper welcome back.

I smirked to myself, I guess that warning text I sent to his Glee clubbers had them feeling guilty of the way they treated him.

We showed up at his house and Carole had two plates of dinner for us. We took the plates gratefully and I gently set Kurt up in his bed and joined him, turning on the TV to watch something while we ate dinner.

I sighed, The TV was set on a channel the news was on, could this be any more boring? This is all dad watches at my house. "What do you want to watch?" I turned to Kurt; he had some noodles hanging out of his mouth. He shrugged an 'I don't care' as he continued to eat.

I sighed and was about to press the 'guide' when a story interested me on the news. There was a picture of a large, rough-looking man with messy hair behind the newscaster head.

I almost nudged Kurt and told him the man could use a good hair cut or at least some hair gel until I heard what the newscaster said about this man:

"Charles Dunway has been accused of six different attacks on homosexual males, sexually assaulting five of them. His latest accusation was merely forcing two married men to give him their money and threatening to kill them if they refused."

I heart Kurt gasp loudly, I looked back at him and his eyes were wide, looking at the screen in horror. His chest was heaving and he almost dropped the plate of noodles on the floor, his hands shaking.

"Is that him, Kurt?" I asked him.

Kurt didn't speak. He was hyperventilating.

"Oh my god, oh my god. Where is that paper bag? Just breathe, Kurt. Breathe slowly for me can you do that, honey? It's okay. I'm here." I tried speaking calmly, as much as I was freaking out that Kurt was slowly coming into a panic attack.

I was stumbling around Kurt's room, looking everywhere for a damn paper bag. Shouldn't they have hundreds of them in Kurt's bedroom?

Kurt's head fell back against the bed with a large _thunk _and I rushed over there and took his plate of food as he began to thrash his body from side to side as if he was being held down.

He started to scream, "_Ah_! Stop touching me! _Ow_! That hurts! Leave me alone, please! Someone, help!"

"I'm trying honey, where is that damn paper bag? Just breathe slowly Kurt? Please!"

I stood beside him and started looking through his night stand's drawers frantically, and decided to ignore his condoms and lubricant as I found a paper bag in the back. I heard loud footsteps and I shut his drawer close and paused the TV.

"What's going on?" Finn asked, busting in the room. He watched as Kurt screamed and turned in his bead in horror. I assumed he must have heard Kurt quite well, his bedroom a few doors down from Kurt's.

"Hold him down, please! He won't stop moving!" I instructed Finn, not as calmly as I could have been.

Finn nodded eagerly and had a tight grip on Kurt's arms, Kurt's physical behavior slowing down to a minimum. Finn's body was in the space I needed to stand beside Kurt so I straddled Kurt's lap, ducking under Finn's arms. I placed the paper bag on Kurt's mouth, gently instructing him to breathe slowly. It took him a while to hear me but I noticed his chest started to move slowly and he was gasping for air. I took the bag off his mouth and Finn moved away immediately, as did I, I didn't want Kurt to freak out from the position I was in. He still had his eyes closed, wheezing. I mentally cursed myself, wishing there was an oxygen mask in here.

I looked behind me and sat in-front of Kurt so he couldn't see the image on TV, Finn looked at the TV questioningly but I shook my head at him.

"Is he going to be okay?" Finn asked, worried, looking at Kurt gasping for breath instead of the TV.

"Yes, I just need to talk to him, please. Let Carole and Burt know what happened." I nodded at him and Finn nodded frantically and ran out of the room.

I scooted a little closer to him as his eyes began to slowly open. His eyes were gleaming, and I suddenly remembered he always got emotional after a panic attack. He was panting and his hands were shaking immensely.

I gently held his hands and talked slow and gentle to him, knowing what kind of state he's in.

"Hey, everything's okay. Calm down now, just listen to me. I think…You just had a panic attack, didn't you?" I asked him.

Kurt nodded, embarrassed, avoiding looking into my eyes.

I placed my finger under his chin carefully and turned his head to look at me. "Hey don't be scared. You need to talk to me, these are normal for now. Don't be afraid to tell me what happened. What did you see?"

Kurt bit his lip and swallowed thickly. Kurt hasn't had a panic attack in a long time, and when he did, we never usually talked about it. This was something new for the both of us.

"I—I—He was…" he managed to choke out, then his chest jerked and his breathing intensified, remembering the attack all over again.

"Calm down, Kurt. Just think hard about it, tell me what was happening," I cooed and rubbed the bone below his thumb gently with my thumb.

Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath, obviously trying to remember his panic attack visibly.

"I was in my car, lying on my back, my pants around my ankles and I…I saw him, and he reached his hand down and…and…" his bottom lip quivered but I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, calming his nerves.

"What did he do?" I spoke gently, as much as I wanted to take off towards the internet and find the address of Charles Dunway.

"He was touching me, squeezing me, and then he flipped me over and started to jam his fingers in me. I felt his breath on my back and he had one of them kiss me and then…then it was over," Kurt sighed and opened his eyes.

He grinned at the way I continued to rub up and down one of his pale, slender arms. I guess it seemed to calm him.

"Do you remember what triggered the panic attack?" I asked softly.

Kurt shook his head.

I moved my hands lower and held his hands carefully before I said my next words. "The man who did this to you…he's on the news." Kurt gasped and his eyes widened at my words. I immediately rubbed both of his arms to calm him.

"Don't freak out, okay? But his picture is on that screen. You can't see it now because I'm in the way but…I want you to watch this and I don't want you to hyperventilate. I want us to watch this and see what happens," I said, still rubbing him.

Kurt bit his lip. "I don't know if I can promise you that, he scares me."

"But I don't scare you, do I?" I stopped my motion, taking his hands again.

"Of course not." Kurt shrugged, not having a doubt in the world. I grinned at that and so did he.

"How about we lay down on the bed and I'll hold you while we watch this. If you feel scared just cling on to me as tight as you want to or squeeze my hand as much as you need to. Can you do that?" I offered.

After a little thought, Kurt smiled at me and nodded. "I can do that."

"Okay, close your eyes right now. I don't want you to see _him_ until we're ready." I gently instructed him. He nodded and closed his eyes, listening to what I said as I instructed him to lie on his side.

When he was comfortable, I lay beside him and placed his head on the side of my chest. I sighed a little; I almost forgot how soft his hair is. As soon as his head was on my chest securely, he reached out his arms for my body. They landed on my stomach first, then his hands patted upward and he wrapped his arms around me and sighed contently, but still a little nervous.

"When you're ready, open your eyes, and cling onto me if you get scared, okay?" I said into his hair.

Kurt nodded and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked down at the screen with me. I felt his fingers immediately grip into my skin, is fingernails clutching into my dress shirt. Thank God I had a shirt on or I would be bleeding now. I took a look at him and he swallowed thickly, and controlled his breathing.

"Are you okay?" I asked him gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can you play it now?" Kurt asked, a little worried.

"Of course. You have nothing to be scared of, okay? Just remember that." I pressed play.

The newscaster was seen again, I rewound it to where I remembered freaking out over Kurt.

The newscaster began to speak to where he left off at: "Mr. Dunway argues if anyone was to be blamed; it was the claimed victims who reported him. He says they came onto him and begged for intercourse, like a prostitute."

Kurt gasped, I looked over at him. I noticed he wasn't hyperventilating; it must have just been out of anger of this man's statement. I looked back at the screen and the news switched to a taped interview of a jail room.

Charles was sitting in a chair talking with an officer about his reports. Hate rose up in me seeing this man; this is the man that can cause Kurt to go into a hallucinating, hyperventilating state of mind just looking at him. The man that hurt Kurt in so many ways that I just wanted to find him and made sure he died a slow and painful death, which I'm sure he will now that I know his name.

"You're most recent accusation is by a customer at a local grocery store in Lima, Ohio; stating that you attacked a minor at this site in public with four other men, and then raping him." The officer said to Charles. Oh my god, their talking about Kurt.

My stomach tensed up a little, eager to what this bastard would say, but a little frightened for Kurt's sake. I gripped him close to me and kissed his cheek.

Charles scoffed and shook his head, "That's false. I was hanging with my buddies and he begged for it. I tried to tell him I don't go that way, I'm straight. He wouldn't take any of it and pulled his pants down and lay in the back of his car, thinking that could change my mind."

This man is so conceited and a pretty good liar, he almost reminded me of Karofsky, when I spoke to Karofsky that day after he kissed Kurt.

Kurt sprung up in his bed, his emotions taking over. "Oh my god, I did _not_! I can't believe he would say that! Did you hear that, Blaine?" Kurt screamed.

"I know, I know, come here honey." I clutched his sleeve and he reluctantly lay beside me, huffing and rolling his eyes. I gently kissed his forehead, watching the remainder of the interview.

"So when she described to us of the physical damage she saw you cause to this boy, you're claiming she's lying to us?" the officer said, a little unbelief in his voice.

Charles nodded, "Exactly, I don't know how _anyone_ could take that situation wrong. But I definitely _didn't_ touch him, he begged for it and I tried to refuse." He shrugged.

"Did he force you?" The office asked.

"Almost."

Kurt's lips formed into a grimace and I rubbed his arms comfortingly, whispering comforting words into his ear, trying to brush his messy hair to the side.

"So you're saying if anyone is to blame, it's the minor, correct?"

"Definitely." Kurt and I both scoffed at the liar's answer.

"Can you tell us this boy's name?" the officer asked. I swear my heart stopped for a little, not believing what I was hearing.

"Kurt Hummel," Charles answered, smirking. My eyes widened in shock, how the hell does he know Kurt's name? I almost started freaking out. What if he's watching us right now? Oh, get a hold of yourself Blaine; I'm sure he's not that ignorant.

"Oh my god, oh my god. My life is over…everyone thinks I'm sick… you lying bastard! I never want any part of you! You scarred me you sick liar!" Kurt screamed at the TV, his hands shaking and bursting into tears.

Kurt didn't seem as worried as to _how_ Charles knows his name like me, but more worried that he said it on national television overall.

The screen switched to the newscast again with Charles picture behind him, again. "So the real question is whose _actually_ telling the truth? Four of the accused victims have filed suits against Mr. Dunway, whereas he says its all lies. Four of the victims went to the only lawyer in Lima who would help a homophobic assault, Randall Anderson." Oh shit, that's my _dad_. Does dad know about this? Kurt looked at me interesting too, as to meeting my father a few times.

I interestingly watched the rest, to see what they would say about dad.

"Mr. Anderson's first client, Mr. Dunway's claimed first assault, Peter Stricklin, is taking Mr. Dunway to court this Friday, we'll be sending our own news reporter, Nicki Staudt, to follow the trial." The newscaster finished.

The screen then switched to the four-day weather forecast and I turned off the TV. Our supper's cold, and both of us frightened. I looked over at Kurt, he was biting his nails.

I took his fingers out of his mouth; he rolled his eyes at me and pointed to the TV, his hands still shaking.

"What if someone from school _sees_ this? What if they think he's telling the truth!" Kurt screamed.

I shook my head and carefully fixed his hair, knowing how he would screech if he saw the way it looked right now. "Honey no one watches the news, and if they did, they _know_ your story. They wouldn't believe this."

"Karofsky and all the other Neanderthals will," Kurt mumbled, moving his head to the side, motioning for me to fix his hair on that side.

"They don't watch the news though, their televisions set is devoted to the sports channel, I assure you. That and porn, probably."

Kurt nodded, agreeing with me. I placed my hands on his comforter after I fixed his hair. His head was down and his shoulders were shaking.

"It's so humiliating, I feel horrible," he sobbed. My eyes widened, agreeing with him. This is some messed up stuff; I wish this bastard never came into our lives.

"I know that's the way he wants you to feel." I gently rubbed his shoulders.

"What am I gonna do?" Kurt sobbed into his hands as I continued to rub his shoulders. Before I could reply, Burt and Carole came into Kurt's room and saw us. I saw the looks on their faces and knew I didn't have to explain as to why Kurt was crying and I was rubbing his shaky shoulders.

They saw the news too.

I bit my lip, asking the question anyway to clear away as much awkwardness as possible. "Did you see the—"

"The news? Oh yeah, you two?" Burt asked us, pointing at Kurt. I nodded frowning.

Burt groaned and held his face in his hands, uncomfortable with what to say to Kurt. Carole said something in Burt's ear and sat on the other side of Kurt. I felt his shoulders relax finally so I stopped the massaging. He watched Carole as she put her arm around his back.

"No one believes a criminal, you know that? He will be proven guilty at this trial Friday. Blaine's dad will make sure of it." Carole rubbed his back soothingly.

"What if he's innocent? What if there's no proof? What if I'm humiliated every time I push my gay paralyzed butt outside this house? In Lima of all places?" Kurt sobbed.

All three of us frowned at Kurt's words. "I know this has to feel so humiliating and disgusting for you right now Kurt, but you are better than this man. You know what his goals will be in life?" Carole asked him. Kurt shrugged sadly.

"Rape and gang attack records. You're destined for a good life, where when this is behind you…he's going to be in jail rotting and you will be living out your dreams and be with someone you love." Carole spoke softly to him and he looked at me lovingly and held my hand. Kurt seemed to cheer up a little at Carole's words and received a long, warm, hug from her.

She left and whispered something to Burt. He took her place beside Kurt on the edge of his bed. "You going to report this, Kurt? I've been wondering about this ever since it happened. I knew we needed to wait until you were out of the hospital and I never knew how to ask you but this kind of gives us the entry way for it." Burt suggested.

"No," Kurt said automatically.

"Why not?" I asked. Why the hell wouldn't he?

"Because I'm trying to…become normal again and if I see him, in court. I know he'll be giving me uncomfortable, dirty looks the whole time. If I have a panic attack in court that will probably be on the news now…I'll never hear the end of it. That's all he wants to do, is to make nothing out of me, and he's succeeding."

…

Chapter Review Replies from Chapter Eleven:

**Sarahamanda: **Thank you! Here's another update! Enjoy (:

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**A/N: So poor Kurt): We thought he was getting better but he has a whole new world of triggering hyperventilating and hallucinating outside the comfort zone of the hospital. Check back next Monday because Chapter Thirteen will be posted then! As for now, REVIEW! I love hearing your thought on how the story is going and the current chapter, and I always reply to your reviews in the following chapter. Love and Klainebows to all!**


	13. Chapter 13: The Decision

**A/N: Happy Update Monday! Okay, I have news: I've been cast as an extra in a movie so I'm working all the time and rarely have time to update so thankfully I was able to update this story today but "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" will have to wait. Don't worry, I'm still writing them, but I may not be able to update frequently until I'm doing working on the movie. Sorry for the inconvenience!**

**Warning: Swearing **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter 13: The Decision

ooOOoo

After school the next day, I was at a local music store close to Dalton. I haven't been here more than twenty minutes, checking out the latest CD's killing time, until I could leave to go pick Kurt up from detention. I was checking out Katy Perry's newest CD, reading the song list, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Hiram—one of Rachel's dads'—standing close to me.

"Hiram! Hey, what are you doing in Westerville?" I asked him, surprised. Should I bring up when him and his husband was mobbed? In a music store? I don't think so…Would it be inappropriate? But what if I don't get to talk to him for a while?

"Visiting Leroy's parents, they just came back after a long cruise. Their going crazy right now about losing their latest Michael Buble CD, I was going to see if I could buy another copy, and you?"

"I'm a Dalton student. I'm just killing time before I go see Kurt," I replied with a shrug.

Hiram looked at me sadly and bit his lip, as if he was contemplative to say something or to not to.

"I am truly sorry about what happened to him," Hiram finally managed to say. He spoke with such a great deal of sincerity that I had to blink to stop a tear from falling; I nodded thankfully at his kind words. "Has he improved any since his attack?" he asked.

I nodded instantly, remembering the first day I visited Kurt. "Oh yes, he had a big cut that's healing. He's _starting_ to walk and he can be around a lot of people and his panic attacks have dropped to a minimum. Although there are things that will trigger them…"

"Leroy and I saw the news last night. Did you—"

"Yeah, we saw it too. He's real upset about it. I'm sorry about what happened to you and Leroy, too. Where did that happen at?" I asked, finally addressing what happened to him and Leroy.

Hiram sighed, looking up towards the store's ceiling. I could tell he was trying to hold his emotions down, remembering the night. "We were leaving a grocery store. We were parked on the side so there weren't many people around. It was Charles and another man; they were holding guns to our heads, demanding money. We were reaching into our pockets and an employee came out for a smoke, as soon as they saw her, they ran. We reported it to the police soon after that."

I gasped, trying to imagine if it was Kurt and I in their place. Kurt's attacker already is starting to scare me, or at least trying to.

"God, I—I don't know what to say. That's so horrible, so frightening…" I rambled off. I swallowed thickly, comparing Kurt and Hiram and Leroy's attacks. They were both at grocery stores. "Wait, which grocery store were you two at?" I asked him.

Hiram bit his lip, trying to describe the grocery store. The store Kurt goes to all the time isn't a popular name like Kroger or Wal-Mart. It's ran by a family and the name is just "Lima Community Grocery Store"

"Um…it's that one with the—hey, it's not too far from Kurt's house actually. The one with the ice cream shop by the bakery?" Hiram described.

A gasped again, holding my chest. I tried to hide my face, lowering my head beside the CD cases. "Oh my god. That's where…that's where Kurt was…that's where he was when…"

My voice began to break and I tried to control the volume of my voice as well as wipe the tears away. I felt a hand rub on my back and Hiram speaking calmly to me.

"Hey, hey, calm down Blaine. It's alright. We don't have to talk about it anymore. Before I head out of here to clear the smoke with Leroy's parents…I would like to talk with Kurt sometime. You think he would agree to that?" he asked.

My heart quickened, I hope so. That sounds like a terrific idea. Kurt needs to press charges, Hiram and Leroy don't have much to go on so they couldn't, but they could try to persuade him maybe. He also needs someone to talk to. He can always talk to me but I don't understand what he went through, sure Hiram or Leroy weren't attacked or raped but it was by the same frightening man.

I lifted my head to look at him directly after wiping my face dry. "Sure, whenever you're free. Any time this week?" I asked.

Hiram frowned, and thought a little before answering. "How about tomorrow night? Too soon?" he asked hopefully

I shook my head. "No it's perfect. After Warbler practice I go and pick Kurt up and we go to his house," I replied, ignoring the fact of _where_ I pick Kurt up.

"Great. What time should we be there?" Hiram asked, continuing our conversation and moving towards the cashier.

Kurt's detention get out at six, I imagined the amount of time it would take for us to come home.

"Around six fifteen or six twenty?" I asked him.

Hiram gave me a firm nod with a smile. "Perfect. See you two, then. Take care of him." He pointed at me, with the most serious, protective look I've seen yet.

Sure, Burt protects the hell out of Kurt, but he's uncomfortable communicating with people to their face. Hiram on the other hand, must know Kurt well because of his friendship with Rachel. Which still confused me, because she doesn't seem like the friend type to me, but I shrugged it off, it's not my place to judge.

"I will thank you for wanting to talk to him. He needs someone that can relate." I thanked him; he paid for his CD and replied to me with a silent nod.

ooOOoo

"So Puck told me that in order to match clothes you had to pick a color that is already seen but not highlighted in the piece of clothing you're matching it with. I'm paraphrasing of course, but then I reminded him of _basic_ colors that flow together and you're forgetting about layering, accessories, outstanding patterns and etcetera…"

I was driving Kurt home from detention and he was going on about some conversation he had with Puck earlier in detention. As much as I love talking to Kurt, I really could care less about his views of matching clothing.

"…so he finally just quit talking, which means I won the argument."

"You think he's going to take your advice?" I joked.

Kurt chuckled, "I doubt it; his wardrobe is like Finn's. Jeans, work out shorts and sweatpants, and then T-shirts with rock bands or football team logos, there's not much I could work with." He shrugged. I shook my head, I swear, Kurt needs to be over _What Not To Wear_.

"You've seen his wardrobe?" I joked again.

"Gross no, his closet probably has molded junk food and all things useless. I'm just assuming," Kurt shrugged.

"Ah," I replied, grabbing his hand and smiling at him as I stopped at a red light. "Guess who I saw today at that music store close to Dalton?" I asked him.

"I don't know, one of the Warbler's?" Kurt shrugged.

"No. One of Rachel's dad's, Hiram," I replied.

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "Really? We're they visiting Leroy's parents? Rachel said something along the lines of that in Glee today."

"Yeah and…they want to talk to you tomorrow night. I told them they could come over around six fifteen or six twenty. Is that okay?" I glanced at him and noticed the light turned green, I turned my attention towards the road and gave the car a little gas.

"What do they want to talk to me about?" Kurt asked, confused.

Oh god. I just remembered. I never told Kurt about Hiram and Leroy. Seriously? How could I never tell him? Surely I thought Rachel would, maybe.

I took a deep breath before I spoke again, "Kurt there's…there's something I need to tell you about Rachel's dads."

"What is it?" Kurt asked concerned.

I bit my lip nervously, how am I supposed to say this without him freaking out? Oh well, here goes…"Remember that grocery store you were at when you were—"

"Yes, I remember," Kurt replied short.

I sighed, "Well Hiram and Leroy was there a couple of weeks ago and they were…mugged." Kurt gasped and I swore he almost said something like "Oh my God" or "Really?" but I realized I should tell him the last puzzle of the story to get it off my chest and out in the open. "By Charles and some other men," I added.

Kurt gasped, "Oh my god! When did this happen?" His voice reached a shrieking point as he registered what I just told him. I gripped the steering wheel nervously as I drove, unsure if his emotions were going to have him cry or yell or if this is common.

"It was a couple of weeks ago…" I trailed off.

Kurt sighed dramatically, "And no one told me? _Rachel_ didn't even tell me! _How_ could you not tell me?" he yelled. I glanced over and his face was beginning to turn red and his fists shaking.

I turned my attention back to the road and did the only thing anyone could do when Kurt has outbursts; ignore him. "Kurt, calm down," I said.

"_Shut up_! Did you not think that that grocery store is close to my house and they are still there? _Tormenting_ innocent people? What if they find where I live, Blaine? What am I supposed to do then? Why didn't you tell me as soon as it happened? How come—"

"Breathe," I said. I really shouldn't have said anything but his voice was starting to crack and he was beginning to wheeze.

"No!" he screamed but instead of yelling more he actually did stop yelling. I pulled onto his street and took a quick glance at him. He was shaking, trying to control his breathing. He threw his head back against the seat and whined, trying to calm down his nerves.

I heard a sob and I looked over at him, he had his arms around his waist insecurely and he was wiping his tears. I assumed he was finished with his outburst.

"I'm sorry, I'm so stupid," Kurt sobbed into his hands. I pulled into his driveway and turned the ignition off.

"No you're not; it's not your fault," I said gently, rubbing up and down his shaking arm.

"I'm just sick and _tired_ of this," Kurt groaned, throwing his head back against the chair as the tears fell freely from his face. I unbuckled my seatbelt and held his hands that were beginning to not shake so much.

"Well you're going to the doctor tomorrow and he'll check you out, your stomach, your legs, and your…_insides_. Are you walking any better?" I asked him.

"No. It still hurts." Kurt shrugged a shoulder.

I frowned. "Have you tried walking from your bedroom to the bathroom like he suggested?"

"Yes, it still _hurts_ though." Kurt's hand began to shake more and he glared at me, his emotions beginning to take over. I decided to calm my attitude down and my voice as well, because that probably wasn't helping.

"It's going to hurt, their healing," I said softly. Kurt just huffed and looked out of the windshield, taking his hands with him. We sat there in the silence for a while, until I was definitely sure Kurt's outburst was finished. I took a quiet sigh before asking him, "So…do you want to talk to them tomorrow night?"

He turned to look at me and nodded. "Yes, I uh…I just freaked out. Of course I do, maybe it will help me. I really _don't_ feel that way, you know. I _want_ to talk to them."

"I know you don't have to remind me. It's not your fault. Do you want to try walking to the front door?" Kurt shook his head immediately. "You're going to the doctor tomorrow, you need to _try_." I suggested.

"The steps are too much. It hurts, I can't do it."

"How about you walk _to_ the steps? Does that sound better? You can walk to the wheelchair. I'll push it to the steps," I suggested again. He bit his lip, contemplating what I just said. I knew he hated giving into what I said but he knew he needed to try walking.

"I guess." Kurt shrugged sadly. I frowned at how sad he was and I knew how painful this was going to be for him. I leaned in and kissed his cheek, he turned and offered me a small smile as I reached into my backseat and retrieved his wheelchair.

I pushed his wheelchair to the front steps and gave him a nod. He took a deep breath and opened my passenger door. After about five or six steps he was hunching over in pain, holding his knees and breathing deeply.

"Come on baby, your half-way there," I encouraged him.

"It hurts!" Kurt cried out in pain, gripping onto his knees.

I frowned, "I know, take it slow." I don't know anything about helping people walk again, I'm not a physical therapist, but he needed to do this.

"Move the wheelchair over here, I can't do it." Kurt shook his head and pointed to the wheelchair I had beside me.

"Yes, you _can_—"

"No Blaine, _please_, it hurts and I can't make it over there. Quit being a dick!" He screamed, trying to stand up to insult me but he hunched over in pain again and grabbed his knees.

"I'm not a dick, could you quit calling me that?" I tried to calm my nerves, I hated when he used that word against me.

"It's because it's _true_!" Kurt screamed, his hands shaking unable to grip onto his knees and he screamed in frustration from the pain.

"You can do this, one step at a time," I instructed him. Kurt threw his head back and breathed deeply, trying to calm down his nerves as he took another step. He hissed in pain and held his knees. He took another step, a little faster and did the same.

"Ow…" he whimpered and began to walk faster, crying out in pain. His hands dropped to the cement path that he walked on, almost falling.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly, watching him stand back up and hold his knees.

"No, you _ass_! It hurts like hell! You wouldn't know!" Kurt screamed again as his hands slowly started to shake again

I sighed, come on Kurt, no this _again_; you're almost there.

I rolled my eyes, he could probably already be in this chair if he didn't have to stop and control his nerves. When his hands began to slow down he took the last five steps and collapsed in the chair. He panted and held his legs painfully. I knew he was calm so I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

"There you did it. Let's go get some food, we're both hungry," I spoke gently to him.

"Ow it hurts so badly. I'm never going to be able to walk again…" Kurt mumbled, holding his knees as I helped push him up the steps.

"Oh stop it, yes you will." I shook my head and kissed his hair. Kurt's drama never ceases to go away and with these emotions controlling him, I don't know if that's good or bad.

ooOOoo

Kurt had to skip Glee practice the next day to have a check-up with Dr. Villa at the hospital. Finn convinced Rachel that Kurt's appointment was more important than singing lead with her so he took him and alerted me of all the news Dr. Villa said during my Warbler practice.

I already spoke it over with Wes so I could text Finn during practice.

According to Finn, Dr. Villa cleansed Kurt's stomach wound and said it still had a couple weeks left to take the bandage off, Kurt's insides were steal healing slowly (still don't know what the hell happened to him there), his walking is a little better but still needs the wheelchair, and his bruises are now red instead of purple.

Ugh, could this process take any longer?

I know, this is all part of a healing process, but it's so slow. I hate this for him.

After Warbler practice and picking Kurt up from his last detention, I drove him home and Hiram and Leroy's Sudan was parked in Kurt's driveway already.

We entered his home and ate some dinner, then the four of us: Kurt, Hiram, Leroy, and I, all walked to Kurt's room.

"I can go if you want me to," I offered.

Kurt shrugged, "At least not yet, wait for a second." He grinned.

I set him up on his bed and sat at the edge of it, ready for whenever he needed me to leave. Hiram found a plush moon chair to sit in, and Leroy sat in Kurt's desk chair.

"Nice room, Kurt," Leroy complimented.

Kurt grinned brightly, "Thanks! I designed it myself!"

"Well you did a splendid job," Hiram added.

Kurt smiled shyly and nodded slowly, waiting for something to come out of their mouths as to why they were here.

"Leroy and I have really wanted to talk to you. Ever since Rachel told us what happened, we wanted to see you. Now that you're out, we really would like the check up on you first of all," Hiram said, speaking to Kurt slowly and softly like I suggested.

"Thanks. I'm a lot better than I was a month ago. I'm still having problems though." Kurt shrugged.

"That's alright; the good news is that you're better. This is a serious thing that you went through. Peter Stricklin was mute for an entire month before he actually said what happened," said Leroy.

"Peter Stricklin? Oh yeah, _his_ first victim," Kurt bitterly said.

"Yes, and you told Blaine what happened a week after your attack. So don't worry, it can only get better from here," Leroy added.

"Thanks, I know. It's just so hard to see it that way when I'm the gay, paralyzed, Glee clubber, in Special Ed class. It's like the worst title someone could ever have in High School," Kurt forced a tiny chuckle.

"But it's only temporary, being in Special Ed and the wheelchair," Hiram offered.

"Yeah I love Glee club and I don't have a problem with being gay, although the world seems to think so…" Kurt trailed off and I frowned. Yeah, that's why you ended up right here Kurt.

"Blaine I want to talk to them about my attack, could you leave, please?" Kurt asked, looking up at me with pleading eyes.

"Of course, I'll just go finish some homework. Yell for me if you need me." I kissed him on top of his head and offered a wave to Hiram and Leroy.

I closed the door behind me and found Finn, Carole, and Burt in the den.

Burt and Finn were captured by some game on the T.V, and Carole was folding laundry.

"Carole?" I asked, still feeling awkward calling her by her name and not Miss. Hummel or Hudson—whatever she preferred—it just didn't seem well-mannered.

"Yes, Blaine?" she looked up at me, folding obviously one of Kurt's velvet sweaters, from the look of the items in her basket it looked like she just finished a delicate cycle; which most of the clothes were Kurt's and some dresses of Carole's.

"Hiram and Leroy are talking to Kurt in his room, is it alright if I do some homework at the kitchen table?" I asked her.

"Well of course, sweetie! You don't need permission to use that old table to do your homework! Go right ahead! And take that blazer off, it looks hot," she suggested, rambling off like she was my own mother. I smiled at her polite host-self and shrugged the Dalton blazer off my shoulders when I reached the kitchen, hanging it over the kitchen chair I was going to use.

I began to pull a textbook and work sheet out of my messenger bag, looking over some notes as I started on a homework assignment. I answered three questions, onto the fourth, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. My eyebrows furrowed and I took it out.

_Dad_

_6:54 P.M._

_Have you had the chance to ask Kurt the questions I gave you? I know it takes you a while to do things._

I rolled my eyes as I typed out my reply; it seems he cares more about Kurt's case than Kurt himself, maybe not but that's how it feels.

Blaine

6: 55 P.M.

No and he doesn't want to press charges anyway. I'm trying to do Literature homework. Can I have some privacy, please?

For a moment I thought he actually decided to stop texting me. I smiled to myself and finished two more questions when my phone buzzed again. I groaned, pulling it out.

_Dad_

_7:00 P.M_

_Sorry son but this is an important conversation. What do you mean he doesn't want to press charges? Has he lost his mind?_

Blaine

7:01 P.M

No he just doesn't want to face his attacker or ever see him again. It's his decision, please respect it.

_Dad_

_7:01 P.M_

_It's a stupid decision _

Blaine

7: 02 P.M

Goodbye dad…

_Dad_

_7:03 P.M_

_I just hope he realizes how foolish his decision is. He could have the opportunity to throw this man in jail for what he has done to him. I am the lawyer of every one of Charles' rape victims, and Kurt has to worst damage. He can use the picture proof against Charles. But it's his decision. _

I sighed. I _know_ his decision is stupid but I'm his boyfriend I'm going to respect him even if I know it's the wrong thing to do in my eyes. I felt a little uncomfortable at the words "Kurt has the worst damage".

If Charles didn't get thrown in jail for his other rape victims, certainly Kurt's could. Kurt has bruises, a large cut, fractured bones, and some kind of inside bruises, not to mention panic attacks and emotional outbursts.

I sighed and decided to not text him back, I leaned my chair backwards, staring at the light on in Kurt's bedroom down the hallway. I could hear still faint voices in conversation. I adjusted my seat before Carole or Burt caught me and continued with my work. Maybe Hiram and Leroy could convince Kurt, otherwise, there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I will do about it.

If I was in Kurt's position, I know I keep telling myself I would press charges, but would I really do it? It's like Kurt said a month ago, nothing can prepare a person for this kind of damage, scars, and humiliation; it just happens.

ooOOoo

After I finished my Literature worksheet, wrote down some sources I would use for my History paper, and finished three pages of problems in Calculus, Hiram and Leroy appeared behind me in the kitchen. I turned around in my seat to face them. They both had a sad look on their face.

"Something wrong?" I asked them.

"He wants to see you," Hiram replied.

"We need to get home anyway, it's kind of late. Take care," Leroy added. I gave the men a nod as they said their good-bye to Carole, Burt, and Finn. What would be wrong with Kurt wanting to talk to me? What all happened in their conversation?

I've been sitting here for an hour waiting to go in there and now that I'm going in Kurt's room, I feel nervous. I walked in Kurt's room and found him holding a piece of paper, staring at it.

"Hey baby, everything alright?" I asked him. He shook his head in reply. "What do you have there?" I pointed at the paper in his hands.

"I'm scared. I'm not going to live anymore, he's going to kill me," he spoke softly, his eyes wide.

I gasped, where is this coming from? He's freaking me out a little.

"Let me see the paper, Kurt." I spoke firmly to him. Whatever is causing Kurt to react this way, has to do with that piece of paper, I needed to read it.

He threw it at me and because of the paper's weight it floated on the floor in front of my shoes. I eyed Kurt suspiciously as I picked the paper up, he was biting his nails and worry was covered in his face.

I gasped and my eyes flew open reading the paper. I'm panicking, what the hell is going to happen now?

_It's a good thing I know where you live now. I can finish my business that I couldn't before: killing you. –CD_

Chapter Review Replies from Chapter Twelve:

**Guest:** Yes he certainly does deserve that! And aw thank you so much! But here's an update! Enjoy (:

**Sarahamanda:** Thanks! Here's another update! Enjoy! (:

**mynamjo****:** Well most of Kurt's bruises can't be visible except for the ones under his clothing at this point. But yes, we will definitely hear more from Kurt's attacker.

**LeBeauAJ: **Yes. Our poor Kurt ): and thank you! Here's an update! Enjoy (:

**A/N: If you are also following "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and "Getting To Know You" please be patient. If not, go check them out! Update for "Finding Courage" will be posted after those two stories. So in the mean time….REVIEW! I love hearing your thoughts on the chapter and the story! I constantly check my email for you guys (; so don't shy away! Love and Klainebows to all!**


	14. Chapter 14: The Plan

**A/N: Wow, what happened to updating every story on update Mondays? Ha-ha well work has been crazy now that I'm cast as an extra in a movie and I try to write whenever I can so…It's finally here! Along with my other two stories that have also been updated: "Getting to Know You" and "Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight"**

**Warning: Mild swearing **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter 14: The Plan

ooOOoo

_I gasped and my eyes flew open reading the paper. I'm panicking, what the hell is going to happen now?_

_It's a good thing I know where you live now. I can finish my business that I couldn't before: killing you. –CD_

ooOOoo

I needed to be strong. I needed to be strong for Kurt.

I was freaking out inside though, how could this happen? When I came out, I never thought I could get a boyfriend during high school, as wonderful and as perfect to me as Kurt. Now everything that could go wrong—went wrong. Now I have no clue how to fix this, I have to fix this; I have to have a plan.

What's the plan?

I looked up at Kurt and he was biting his fingernails—a bad habit of his—and his hands started to tremble. Honestly, I had no clue what to do.

"I'm scared, Blaine." Kurt said weakly, so weak it could shatter my heart if that was possible. I wanted to say me too, because if I was to be honest, I would say that. But Kurt doesn't need any more worry; he needs someone to help him.

"Where did you find this?" I pointed to the paper.

"In my car, Finn just gave it to me before you came in," Kurt replied. I grimaced at the thought of finding this in Kurt's car, curious as to what Finn's reaction was.

"Kurt this—this man knows where you live. I think…you may not like this…but I think the simplest solution is to find somewhere else to live until he comes to the realization that he can't find you," I said slowly.

Kurt gasped, immediately hating what I said, but as I continued to speak he sadly agreed.

"But where can I go? I don't think Mercedes would like the last minute—"

"I think you need to be with someone who understands what you're going through, understands about your outbursts, medicine, panic attacks, all that stuff," I interrupted him, slowly sitting by his feet on the bed, trying to hint that the best person for Kurt to live with for now would be me.

"Like who?" he asked, looking up at me.

I blushed, can't believe I had to spell it out to him. "Like me."

Kurt's eyes grew wide. "You want me to…to live with you?" he whispered.

"And my parents," I immediately added, knowing how bizarre and grown-up that had to sound to him. He bit his lip at that thought, never having a great relationship with my parents. "Kurt this man has recently been here to put this in your car. We need to think about this, you need to be safe."

"Can you ask my dad first?" Kurt asked sadly. My heart broke for him, knowing how sudden and different this had to be for him.

"Of course I'll ask your dad. I'll bring him this note and explain it all to him if Finn hasn't yet, alright?" Kurt nodded sadly. Before I rushed out of his room to face Burt I couldn't help but see the sadness shown on Kurt's face as he looked around his bedroom.

"I'm so sorry about this, but if your dad says yes, I will make you feel as comfortable at my house as you would here. I swear," I promised to him before I gave him a kiss on the head and proceeded into the living room.

When I entered, they were all sitting on the couch. The TV was off and they all looked up at me at the same time with worry shown clearly on their faces. I glanced at the front door: it was locked.

Burt never locks his house.

"You know about it?" I asked Burt.

He nodded and scratched his head, "What the hell are we supposed to do?" he asked, mainly to Carole who had her face buried in her hands. I knew this was the best time I could offer my plan.

"Sir you can—"

"Call me Burt," he interrupted kindly.

I blushed, knowing how strange it was for me to call him that. But I didn't want to give him a bad vibe right now; this was something serious I needed his approval on.

"Burt. You can disagree with me but I think this is the best solution…Kurt needs to get far away from Lima as possible. With Charles hanging out at the local grocery store and knowing Kurt's address somehow… except for when Kurt goes to school and comes here…" I trailed off.

Burt's eyebrows furrowed when I mention him coming home, I assumed he was starting to guess where I was getting at.

"What are you saying?" he asked me.

"I think Kurt should move in with me and my parents. They are very accepting of us." Well my dad is… "I'll find one of Kurt's friends', who lives between Lima and Westerville for him to carpool with, and he can visit here but he can't stay here because of _this._" I pointed to the paper in my hand, they all flinched. "And my house is all the way in Westerville and I know of his situation, with the panic attacks, outbursts…all of it. What do you think?" I asked, holding in a nervous breath.

Burt looked hesitant, Finn looked shocked, and Carole completely agreed. She placed her hand on Burt's shoulder and rubbed it. He looked at her and they shared a glance, then Burt looked up at me.

"That would be the best solution, kiddo. When Kurt was in the ER, he wanted to visit you first. You knew about his situation longer than me. I'll talk with him, and then he'll pack an overnight bag."

ooOOoo

Kurt's family and I agreed it would be best for him to move in with me as soon as possible. After all, Charles _does_ know where Kurt lives—somehow—and we shouldn't take our chances. We agreed that Kurt could pack a few things for tonight and that I'd leave out pretty freaking early to take him to school and then drive all the way back to Dalton.

Kurt said Santana lives in a neighborhood between Lima and Westerville. I called her and explained it to her and surprisingly she instantly agreed to help provide rides whenever she can. After school tomorrow she is going to take Kurt to my house and on Sunday we'll visit his family and pack more things for the week.

I sucked in another nervous breath sitting in my driveway.

"Blaine we've been sitting here for fifteen minutes, when are we going to go in? Are they that bad?"

"No it's just…this is kind of short notice. My parents are the kind of people who _live_ on plans." I shrugged.

"Well we need to see what happens. Whatever happens we'll work through it, right?" Kurt smiled at me, squeezing my hand.

I smiled back, amazed at his confidence and support. "Of course, let me get your wheelchair."

Once Kurt was settled in, I placed his duffle bag over my shoulder and pushed the chair up the front porch's brick steps. I opened the door and wheeled him through before closing the door behind me.

"I'm home!" I announced to the house, unsure of who would answer me. After a few moments of silence, I heard one of my parents answer back.

"Your father went to bed, sweetie. I'm in the kitchen!" I heard mom. Crap. I was hoping I could talk to dad, he of course knows Kurt's situation better than mom.

"Here we go." I whispered where Kurt couldn't hear me and took in a deep breath.

Here's the deal with mom, she's never flat out said that she didn't accept me; she was just uncomfortable when I came out to them and never talked about it again unlike dad.

I wheeled Kurt in our kitchen. Mom had her back turned to us, sitting at the table and absorbed by her checkbook. Mom must have heard Kurt's wheels against the tile floor, because she turned around in her seat and gasped when she saw him.

He bit his lip and looked at her uncomfortable.

"Oh it's your—your—"

"My _boyfriend_, mom," I firmly interrupted her. She bit her lip at my tone and stood up from the kitchen table, staring Kurt down. He began to squirm and try to wheel his wheelchair back but I had the chair under my complete control. She lifted a finger and traced the outline of Kurt's jaw.

"How are you coping, Kurt? With the bruises?" she bluntly asked, touching his face.

I wanted to take her hands from him and hold him, I noticed his hands started to shake and this couldn't end well.

Kurt began to stutter, "I—I—"

"He's slowly healing, mom. Stop touching him," I replied for him and bit my tongue at the last part, which kind of just came out.

She ignored Kurt and walked over to me. "What did you say?" she asked me. I sighed and looked at the floor. "Eyes up here, Blaine," I heard a warning in her voice and I looked at her in the eyes.

"I need to talk to dad," I said.

"That's not what you said." She crossed her arms at me.

"Fine, I said to stop touching him. He has…emotional trauma and I don't want you to upset him. You have _no_ idea what all we've been going through," I addressed to her, I looked at Kurt out of the corner of my eye to make sure he was still in the kitchen, his mouth was in shock with the way I was speaking to my mother.

Her eyebrows rose when I said "we've" and she ran a manicured hand through her wavy, shiny, black hair, ignoring to pester me anymore, which I was thankful for.

"Fine young man, you can speak with your father. But he's not going to like being woken up, he's a busy man and needs his sleep." She shrugged and walked back to the table. I stared at her in confusion. "Go wake him up," she ordered me.

I placed Kurt's duffle bag on one of the kitchen chairs and muttered for Kurt to follow me. I walked down a hallway that formed beside the kitchen until I came to the last room on the right. I instructed Kurt to stay put and he nodded silently.

I knocked on the door and heard the bed squeak as dad was obviously stirred from his sleep.

"Katherine..." he mumbled.

"No dad it's me, Blaine." I frowned.

"What is it?" he grumbled.

"Can I come in, dad?" I asked. Kurt looked at me strange when I asked permission to enter my parent's bedroom. I assumed he didn't have to do that at his house. Instead of my dad replying, his bedroom door open and he appeared before me, rubbing his eyes.

He immediately was shocked to see Kurt. I quickly explained everything to him and he was on his feet at once. He suggested for Kurt to sleep on the cot in the guest bedroom that was directly across from mine.

I explained the hassle of pushing the wheelchair up our grand staircase—and that I'm slightly smaller than him—and dad shrugged like it was no big deal and tried to carry Kurt over his shoulders, which ended in Kurt hyperventilating so I had to make due and carry Kurt up the staircase, then I helped walk him into the guest room.

After dad and I prepared a bed for Kurt, he was about go downstairs to his own bedroom but I stopped him by the arm and closed the guest room's door behind me.

"Can you talk to mom, please?" I begged him.

"Is she giving you two a hard time?" he rolled his eyes. I nodded. "Blaine you have to know that she just…doesn't understand how gays work and stuff," he tried to explain.

I crossed my arms, immediately feeling offended. It's fantastic how homosexual couples have to explain their love when heterosexual couples don't. I'm being sarcastic of course.

"How they _work_? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"She's still coming to terms with how a male can love a male in the way they are supposed to love a female basically," dad explained, obviously memorizing this speech.

"It's—it's not my fault I was born this way, attracted to the same sex." I shifted my arms uncomfortably, having this conversation with him.

"Listen I'll _talk_ to her okay? She will leave you and Kurt alone, but I can't guarantee that she'll come to term with acceptance. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right?" Dad shrugged.

I scoffed, "I suppose. I just wish my mom's opinion is what makes me happy." I turned on my heel and placed my hand on the doorknob, about to turn the door open when I felt dad's hand on my arm.

"Hey, I said I'll talk to her," he affirmed softly.

I shook my head at him. "Don't bother," I said, entering Kurt's guestroom quietly. I didn't know if he was asleep or not but after all that just happened, I needed to apologize and kiss him goodnight.

The lights were off except for a lamp on a nearby nightstand. I couldn't see his expression if he was sad or angry; his back was turned away from the lamp and the door. I looked close and saw he was already settled into his pajamas.

I kneeled beside his bed and placed a hand carefully on his waist, feeling the bandage underneath the thin pajama top material underneath my fingers. "I am so sorry about that baby. I honestly didn't know that was going to happen," I apologized.

Kurt didn't move or say anything for a while, maybe he was crying I assumed. He usually tries to avoid eye contact and talking with me when he cries after emotional outbursts, which is weird because I didn't see him have one…

"I'll be fine," Kurt mumbled sleepily into his pillow eventually.

I sighed, "I want you to be comfortable here though. What happened in the kitchen was extremely uncomfortable and highly unacceptable of her." He said nothing, just rolled over on his back and looked up at me sleepily. "I'm going to do whatever is in my power for you to be safe," I vowed to him.

His blue eyes lit up as well as a smile appearing on his face. "I love you," he said.

I grinned back to him, "I love you too, so much." I gently held the sides of his face and kissed him slowly, savoring the taste and the quiet moment, sighing a little into the kiss.

When I pulled away he had the most loving gaze in his eyes that I wanted to mentally photograph.

"I wish you could be with me tonight." He blushed.

"Well my bedroom is right across the hall so you go in there if you need me, your wheelchair's by the nightstand right?" he nodded. "Goodnight, Kurt." I gave him a lingering peck on the lips.

"Goodnight," he sighed.

ooOOoo

After school Friday, I received a text from Kurt saying him and Santana were on their way to my house. When I got home I took a quick shower and started on homework, knowing it would be an hour before they got here.

Luckily, both of my parents were at work so I didn't need mom's strange attitude looming around when Kurt got home.

Forty-five minutes later, when I printed out my finalized paper and stored it in a safe place above my desk, I heard the doorbell. I ran down the staircase and through the marble foyer to the large, oak, front door. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my curls, then opened the front door. Kurt smiled and Santana had a strange smirk on her face.

"Hey, mom's not home yet." I bent down to give Kurt a short, welcoming, hug and then stepped aside to allow him to wheel himself inside. I looked behind me as I watched him wheel himself into my kitchen for a drink or snack.

"Here, I'll give you some money for your time and gas." I reached into my back pocket but Santana gripped my arm and shook her head immediately.

"I don't need money. I want to help him." She gave me a sincere look that I recognized she didn't give to too many people.

I nodded slowly, acknowledging her kindness but I didn't feel right with not at least giving her twenty dollars. "I know but I _still_—"

"Don't. Please, my dad's a doctor, money isn't an issue." She interrupted me with a shrug of her shoulder. I didn't know if she was telling the truth or what the deal was…but she was practically begging for me to not lend her money. I nodded in response, oh well then; guess I can keep that extra money.

I was about to offer her to come in because she was standing outside the doorway awkwardly and clasping her hands. It wasn't until she looked in the air and blinked her eyes a few times, that I noticed her eyes were shimmering—on the verge of tears—I knew right away that something was wrong with her.

"Do…do you want to come in?" I asked her gently. She nodded but remained standing. I was so confused; she took a deep, shaky breath and then turned away, her back facing me.

I glanced behind me to make sure Kurt wasn't around because I knew Santana was uncomfortable with showing these emotions.

"What's wrong?" I asked stepping outside, closing the door behind me

"I'm—I'm such a coward," she sobbed, holding her face in her hands.

"Wha—what are you talking about?" I asked her, still highly confused.

She looked around my front yard and then bit her lip before answering. "I like girls the way I'm supposed to like boys…" I frowned at the way she said that. No one said she was _supposed_ to like them. "I love Britney, she's my best friend, you know her?" She sobbed, finally glancing up to look at my eyes for a second.

"No but uh…I think I had a poster board with her name on it…" I trailed off, remembering something about a unicorn or something...

"She's amazing and so _beautiful_ and…I decided to not be with her because of the _looks _or what people might think and look at Kurt…he has you and he went through all of this because he's not afraid of who he is. That's why I want to help him, I want to help you both, with anything you two need," she explained, crying the whole time.

I wanted to offer a hug, a shoulder to cry on maybe. But I _did_ hardly know her and she would probably refuse me.

"Thank you. I am _so_ sorry but hopefully someday you can muster up the courage to realize that _this_ is you, and it's perfect. No matter what people think. You're not alone, my mom still doesn't accept Kurt and me," I offered.

She sighed and wiped her dark fingers underneath her eyes. "I'm sorry to blubber up like this I—I'm going shopping later and…I need to beat traffic so…take care of him, Blaine. I caught him trying to walk from one sink to the other in the Girl's room today. Then big nose helped him in his chair."

I raised an eyebrow at the "big nose" comment.

"Berry. Rachel Berry," she clarified.

I shrugged, still not understanding that well. "You take care too, Santana. If you don't mind…Kurt needs carpooling to my house during the week after school…" I suggested.

"Yeah, I'll help out, anything you two needs. I guess I…should get going." She shrugged and threw up a hand at me as a good-bye.

I did the same and waited until she started up her car before entering the house.

Wow. I wasn't expecting that. When I opened my front door I saw Kurt there in his chair, almost as if he was waiting on me.

"Oh, hey Kurt." I grinned, a little scared to find him right there as soon as I opened the door.

"What were you two talking about?" he asked suspiciously, drinking a gulp from a water bottle he took from the kitchen.

"Just…rides and stuff for the rest of the week." I shrugged, walking into the living room with Kurt wheeling after me. Of course I don't like lying to Kurt, it makes me feel horrible. But technically, I wasn't lying, I did ask for her to take him here after school. Also, I didn't know if this was confidential stuff, I'm not one to break secrets so I couldn't blurt out what we talked about, even if it is Kurt.

After I settled him into the couch with me, I gave him his medicine and we were flipping through the TV channels when it landed on the news. Oh god, they were talking about Charles Dunway: the trial for him against his first victim was today. I didn't know if Kurt was comfortable with watching this.

I glanced at him and he gasped, seeing footage of Charles Dunway walk up the court steps. Out of reflex, I wrapped my arms around Kurt for support and he relaxed into my touch.

"Do you want to watch this? We can turn it," I suggested, holding the remote out towards the TV.

"No, no I want to see this," Kurt insisted, holding on to my sleeve.

I shrugged and turned the volume up a little. "Charles Dunway was found innocent, as the defendant was found to have little evidence to their accusations. Anderson, attorney at law, says he is filing another case for his next client, Dunway's claimed second victim," the reporter announced.

I sighed; this is when I wish Kurt would press charges. _He has the most evidence_ seemed to remind me of it. Kurt could be the person to put this man in jail, to rot where he belongs; I wish he would do it.

"Innocent? What the hell?" Kurt let out an outburst.

I bit my lip, I didn't know if this was Kurt's emotions or Kurt himself. So I didn't know how to react to this.

"Don't you agree?" he shrieked, turning to face me.

"Of course, of course I do," I replied, rubbing his shoulders.

"It just isn't fair. How the hell did he win this?" Kurt sniffed.

"Peter obviously didn't have enough evidence is what they said," I shrugged, maybe hinting Kurt would change his mind.

Just then, I heard the door slam and I turned off the TV, moving away from Kurt in case it was mom. It was dad though; he came in wearing his suit, holding his briefcase, and running his fingers through his hair.

"Hey boys," he restlessly greeted, taking his shoes off.

"I'm sorry dad, I saw the news." I frowned; Kurt's face was still showing complete anger.

"Well I'm working on his next victim now…Mason Jr. Dawson…I wish I could do more but—"

"You did all you could, dad," I interrupted him gently.

He smiled at my support and then noticed Kurt on the couch, "How are you feeling Kurt?" he walked over to him. I motioned dad to step away from him a little without Kurt noticing and dad did.

"The same, slowly healing." Kurt shrugged.

"Have you ever thought of pressing charges for what he did to you?" dad blurted out.

I gasped; really wishing dad wouldn't bring this up right now. I knew Kurt made his decision, and Kurt has a hard head so he usually doesn't change his mind, ever.

"I'm not pressing charges," Kurt simply answered.

"But have you thought about it?" Dad kneeled at a comfortable distance from the couch as he spoke to Kurt.

"Of course, I've thought about seeing him in court and going into a psychotic panic attack that will be on national television where everyone will laugh at me and have to see evidence of what he did to me on _top_ of that," Kurt bitterly replied.

"Okay but…what if you win? What if you get to have the accomplishment of throwing that man in jail where he has a restraining order against you and can never touch you again?"

Kurt flinched at the word "touch" and a bit my lip watch Kurt, wanting to comfort him.

"I—I'm sorry Mr. Anderson but I'm uncomfortable with having this conversation with you." Kurt looked away from dad and stared at a spot on the wall, his chin up.

"I think you should leave, dad," I said firmly but quietly, knowing I was speaking to my father. Dad stood up and looked at the two of us with amusement. "Fine," he began to walk out but then leaned over the couch and got incredibly close to Kurt's face as he spoke with a quiet, firm tone. "But I hope you understand what you're passing up. You could have the power over this guy, undeniable power. I wish you could find the courage to do that."

ooOOoo

Review Replies for Chapter Thirteen:

**dreamingofrob:**

Thank for all the wonderful compliments, which is so nice! If you haven't yet, check out my other two ongoing stories: "Getting To Know You" and "Take A Bite of My Heart Tonight" Enjoy this chapter! (:

**tdg2249****:**

Well no need to be impatient any longer! Here's another update! Enjoy! (:

**Nbjd**:

Thank you! It will be revealed later about Charles and how he knows Kurt's address.

**Tdg2249**

Thank you, what a great compliment! And yes, always offer constructive criticism. Also yes, I am aware of typos, before I upload a chapter for any of my stories I do go back and proof read them but I guess sometimes I miss one or two. I will be extra careful next time. But thanks again, enjoy this chapter! (:

**LilLizzie94**:

Yes it is confusing but it will be revealed later about how Charles knows Kurt's address.

**Sarahamanda**:

Thank you! Here's another update! Enjoy (:

**A/N: I will try to update on Mondays but if it gets postponed well…just keep waiting ha-ha but yes we get a little of Blaine helping Santana maybe and what is going to happen with Blaine's confusing mother? Next chapter will have Kurt developing more and visiting the Hummel's! Don't forget to REVIEW! I love reading and replying to them, so if you favorite or follow me or this story please review! I love all of you guy's feedback! Love and Klainebows to all!**


	15. Chapter 15: The Memories

**A/N: Okay so I've got a lot to say before you read this chapter. In the last chapter some reviews were confused by my words choosing. Charles Dunway was found INNOCENT not GUILTY. I know, I know, it says guilty. Why it says it completely twice…I have no idea what was going on but I will soon edit that chapter and put the right word in. Sorry for the confusion! Okay now…onto this chapter…I thought this would just be a filler before I dive into a major plot point but it actually kind of prepares you for the next chapter (;**

**Also! Since I have a very busy life of school and working on set of a movie, I can't update ALL of my ongoing stories every Monday. I will, however, interchange every Monday. Next Monday is this story, the next is "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and the next will be "Getting To Know You" **

**Alright! Enough of this super long author's note. Onto the chapter! Enjoy! (:**

**Warning: Swearing, aftermath of an attack.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

ooOOoo

Finding Courage

Chapter Fifteen: The Memories

ooOOoo

Wow. It's been two months since the attack. As happy as I am to say that Kurt has improved a lot, I know he still has a lot to go. I'm going to the doctor with him and his dad today and they are _finally_ taking his bandage off. As happy as I am that Kurt's cut has improved so much that they are taking the bandage off, I'm still a little nervous as to how we have to take care of him differently. It could include a whole new list of things I have to add for him, and that leaves me feeling anxious.

It's been a couple weeks since he's been living with me and sadly mom still doesn't accept us—I think—, but she _does_ leave us alone a lot so that's good I guess. I've also stopped boarding at Dalton because that would be incredibly stupid to leave Kurt at my home by himself with mom before dad gets home.

Kurt's able to walk further distances less painfully now so I'm going to ask Dr. Villa about moving him up to crutches.

Santana has been a _big_ help, I know it has to be a lot of time and money for her to carpool with Kurt since he can't drive yet obviously and I always offer money but she continues to refuse. I'm going to continue to offer though because I am greatly appreciative of her.

So there are lots of good things happening with Kurt but some of his physical and mental problems remain. He obviously still has a lot of pain so he is still taking his medication, which of course means outbursts.

I'm completely used to his outbursts by now and know how to deal with them. Kurt, on the other hand, always gets stressed out over them. He's so tired of them and it's also a reminder for him of all of his pain. So some days on the weekend, he just lies around and draws, wanting to be to himself. I worry about him but maybe it's how he copes with having to live with my mom. He draws and I try to plot out revenge on her homophobic ways.

He hasn't had a panic attack in a while, that is until last night at Breadsticks.

Kurt and I were on a double date with Tina and Mike. Everything was going great, Kurt was talking with them about visiting the doctor the next day and our food just arrived. As the waiter left, we all began to dig into our food and chat casually.

"So what are the Warblers planning since you guys lost Regionals?" Tina smirked proud fully.

I rolled my eyes playfully, "Very funny. But I don't want to talk about it. Kurt hears about it all the time." I shrugged.

"Blaine come on, don't be modest. I'm sure Tina and Mike would love to hear what the Warblers are doing." Kurt smiled sweetly at me, forgetting about the fact that he is in a wheelchair and has tons of problems, but instead wanted to hear something I've told him a million times.

I smiled at him before replying to Tina. "_Well_ we're planning a couple numbers for a local nursing home, and I'm trying to persuade Wes about performing at a local amusement park." I grinned excitedly as Kurt smiled at me proudly.

"So no Gap attacks?" Mike asked slowly with an approaching smile.

"You guys know about that?" My eyes grew wide; I thought that embarrassing regret was just for the poor employees at that particular Gap to know about.

"Of course! Everyone in the New Directions do!" Tina laughed.

I turned to Kurt and he was wiggling his eyebrows in that 'I did it' adorable way of his. I groaned, "No I am _hoping_ none of those."

We all laughed and as the laughter died down I snuck Kurt a smiling, loving glance and he exchanged me one as well. Just as one of us was about to start talking again, there was a large crash from the kitchen. We all gasped and Kurt flinched.

There was muffled, loud, arguments being heard and then a waitress with long, blond, hair tied back in a high pony ran out of the kitchen apologizing quietly. A man in a suit, maybe the owner, followed after her yelling loudly.

He started screaming at her: "You're useless!" "You're worthless!" "You can't do anything right!" "You're hopeless!"

That's when it happened.

I heard a loud gasp from beside me and Kurt had his hand on his chest and he began to gasp and wheeze, obviously having trouble breathing. I scrunched my eyebrows confused at what was happening as he started to hyperventilate.

Then he started screaming: "Ow!" "Stop it!" "That hurts!" "Leave me alone, _please_!"

Tina and Mike stared at Kurt and then back to me in shock. That's when it hit me.

He's having a panic attack.

"I need something he can breathe in, right now. A bag of some sort! Someone help, I need a bag!"

When Tina couldn't find anything in her purse, and Kurt's screaming began to get worse I'm sure I looked like a crazy person yelling at everyone in the restaurant for a paper bag, but I couldn't move.

I was stuck to the wall because we were in a booth on Kurt was on the outside for easy access to his wheelchair. A waitress comes by to see what the fuss is about and that's when I noticed that the people around us weren't eating any longer.

They were all watching Kurt.

When she heard what I said she ran away as fast as she could. I didn't know if Kurt and I scared her or she was getting a paper bag, but as soon as Tina said she would try to find her, the waitress came back holding a doggy bag and handed it to me fast.

She stood in-front of our table, watching, to see if I would need anything else. When I turned to help Kurt, his face was bright red, having trouble breathing as he continued to scream. He looked like he was about to faint. I've never had to wait this long on him before, it was terrifying me.

I placed the bag on his mouth and tried to speak calmly to him. Kurt began to make mumbling, choking noises as if someone gagged him. I immediately realized what he was envisioning then.

I frowned but continued to speak calmly as his hands slowly began to stop shaking and his chest moved to a slower but still rapid pace. He was still having trouble breathing but he was slowly getting better and trying his best.

I looked around as I continued to help him and every eye was on him, and their jaw dropped. I swallowed thickly wanting to tell them to mind their own business and to do what they came here for but Kurt needed a calm, instructing, voice.

Eventually his eyes started to become clearer and brighter and his chest was moving in a normal pace. I dropped the bag to the table and watched him as he looked at his surroundings. His eyes began to grow wide when he saw that every eye was on him, just staring at him like they were waiting for something intense to happen.

Well, something intense _did_ just happen in a student-budget affordable restaurant in Lima, Ohio.

The previous waitress and manager were gone so now Kurt was the main focal point. When he turned back to look at me his face grew closer to mine.

"What's going on?" he asked me weakly, his voice shaking.

"You…you had a panic attack," I whispered.

His eyes grew wide again and he looked around again, people slowly began to eat their food but some were still watching.

"In the middle of a restaurant?" he gritted, turning back to me.

"Yeah." I managed to get out before Kurt was stumbling out of the booth and putting himself in the wheelchair. I didn't want to make another scene by yelling at him as he wheeled his way down the aisle of the restaurant so I waited to talk to Tina and Mike.

"I am so sorry. We'll be right back," I apologized to them and followed Kurt who managed to wheel himself out of the restaurant with his head held high as he was on the verge of tears.

I found him in the side parking lot with his back turned, silently crying in humiliation. My heart broke seeing him that frustrated and broken.

"Kurt," I said quietly as I neared closer to him.

"Just leave me alone! Can't you mind your own fucking business?!" It was then that I knew Kurt's emotions had got the better of him, and he was having an outburst.

I looked at the surroundings. A side parking lot, Kurt shouldn't be out here by himself, it looks too familiar of his surroundings when…the _attack_ happened.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself," I said.

"Why? Cause I could get _raped_ again? With me like this he could probably just finish me off," he spat bitterly as he continued to cry.

I decided it would be best for me to not say anything until he quit. He sighed and rolled his eyes when I sat in a wooden bench that was beside him but I sat their patiently and let him cry himself out first.

After two or three minutes passed, he was still crying but began to shift uncomfortably and look at me with pleading, vulnerable eyes.

When I saw that look I knew he wasn't crying being an emotional, and out bursting Kurt.

I knew this was Kurt who was genuinely upset, humiliated, and needed a shoulder to cry on and arms to be held in. Instead of being a complete douche and yelling 'I thought you didn't need anyone!' like I kind of felt like saying, I immediately knelt beside his wheelchair and held him close to my chest.

He lowered his head and began to sob louder on my shoulder and into my dress shirt, crying desperately. I petted his soft hair in a way that wouldn't mess it up as I held him.

"I—I'm just…_ugh_, I'm _so_ t—tired of this…I—I don't w—want this anymore…" he sobbed.

It felt like my heart broke into as I heard his voice cracking at the sobs.

Have I heard Kurt cry before? Sure, I did the first day I met him. Have I seen him cry in many ways more than one in the past two months? Definitely.

But right now he's just so frustrated, tired, and desperate for a way out of this mess, looking for an answer. And as much as I wished that I did, I don't know that answer. I just had to kneel here on this pavement and hold him, because I was lost for words.

"Nobody wants this," I said to him, rubbing up and down his arms.

"I—I'm a _freak_. I'm a m—messed up, paralyzed, f—freak," he sobbed into my now wet sleeve.

"Baby you are _not_ a freak. I thought you told Meghan you weren't going to believe what _he_ said," I reminded him and he groaned frustrated.

"I k— know but I s—scream and _cry_ and I'm so s—sick and tired of it! And did you see t—the way everyone looked at me? I can't go back in there," he sobbed.

"If you're that uncomfortable with going back in there then we don't _have_ to. We can go back home and relax however you want to," I cooed to him, combing my fingers through his soft hair.

"But we went _all_ the way to Lima to get away from your mom and I don't want to just _leave_ Tina and Mike in there," he replied, his crying beginning to quite down.

"Well what do you want to do, honey?" I held him tighter without hurting his stomach and kissed his hair. He sighed as he contemplated on a decision.

"Can't we go someplace else in Lima?" he mumbled into my shirt.

"Of course we can! Where do you want to go?" I asked him.

He suggested for us to go get some ice-cream at a nearby parlor and that _did_ sound good so I agreed. As much as I felt uncomfortable with doing so, I told Kurt to wait outside as I let Mike and Tina know of our plans.

They immediately understood and we took our food in to-go boxes as we met Kurt outside in the parking lot. His eyes were still red but his tears were wiped off and he tried to put on his best happy face when he saw them. I nudged them in the ribs to not say anything so they didn't.

After that, we all had a really great time. I even had some time left on my curfew so we visited Carole, Finn, and Burt, which made Kurt really happy.

Before I went to bed that night, I noticed Kurt sighed into my good-night kiss a little more than usual.

"Everything okay?" I pulled back and asked him concerned. He hesitated but nodded, looking away from me. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" I asked worried. I knew tonight was hard for him but something in me made me believe this wasn't just about tonight, even if he wasn't telling me.

"Blaine please, I—I just had a rough night and I'm tired and have to go to the doctor tomorrow," he mumbled an excuse.

"Well that's a good thing, right? We get more answers." I smiled.

"I know I just…I don't look forward with what they do to me." He shrugged uncomfortably; I knew he was talking about his anal tests.

"Well you know I'll be right beside you and—" his eyes widened in fright as I said that. "No, no I mean metaphorically and literally with some of it. I won't be in there during those tests; I know it will make you uncomfortable."

"Okay, good," he breathed out.

I chuckled, "Everything is going to be fine, I promise." I laid my head on his chest and hugged him.

"You make a lot of promises," he murmured.

"And they all come true, don't they?" I smiled up at him. He shrugged a shoulder in response. "Yes they _do_. Now we both need sleep. I love you, good night sweetie." I pecked him on the lips one more time before standing up from my current position, which was kneeling beside his bed.

"I love you too," he mumbled sleepily. I turned off his light before closing the door. I turned to face mom as she was walking down the hall to the bathroom.

I was speechless.

I imagined a sneer or look of disgust, a remark even on how we were showing unnecessary displays of affection and how I was talking lovingly to him.

Instead she said five words quietly, as if she was afraid of being heard:

"You better keep your promises."

ooOOoo

So that's what happened last night. The events left me shocked, speechless, frightened, and ready for today.

"Blaine! Don't we need to get going?" I heard Kurt's sudden soft voice.

I looked up and saw him wheel his way into my room. "What are you doing in here?" I asked him smugly.

"I can't go into your room?" He cocked an eyebrow, playing along.

"Of course not." I raised my eyebrows and got extremely close to his giggling face and pecked him a couple times on the lips.

Being it was a Saturday, dad was at home working on his next case and mom was out in the town getting her weekly spa appointment with friends. I let dad know Kurt and I were leaving and we left soon after that.

I pulled up at the E.R. The same E.R. that I drove up to two months ago, frightened out of my mind. The same E.R. that I grew accustomed to, coming to every day, and making friends. It was almost like school.

"Are we going?" Kurt asked me as I sat there and just stared at the building.

That awoken me out of my day dreams and gave Kurt a wordless nod, and then climbing out of the driver's seat. Kurt actually didn't need much help with his wheelchair. He climbed out of the passenger's seat and walked over to the back seat where he took out his wheel chair and then sat in, wheeling himself into the E.R. by my side.

Burt was already in the waiting room and threw up a hand at us when he saw the two of us.

"I missed you buddy!" he ran over to Kurt and hugged his son.

"You saw me last night!" Kurt laughed.

"You should have been there this morning, kiddo. Finn attempted to make us breakfast and—"

"Finn attempted to make breakfast?" Kurt's eyes grew wide.

"That's all you needed to hear, huh?" Burt laughed as the two of us laughed with him. "Come on let's see if Dr. Villa is ready for you."

The three of us walked to the front desk and I said hello to Mindy as she called him. "He's ready for you two. Go into Exam Room C, down that hall." She pointed for us and the three of us walked down the usual hall.

I couldn't help but glance into Kurt's old over-night room and saw it accustomed with a new person. A girl who had her arm wrapped thoroughly and had a few machines connected to her. I couldn't catch a good glimpse because we were walking so fast.

When we entered Dr. Villa offered us a warming smile. Kurt hopped up onto the examination bed and Dr. Villa noticed he did that without any help.

"Yeah, he's actually been walking a lot better with no pain so could he move up to crutches, then?" I questioned his doctor, ready to get that question off my chest.

"A _little_ better, Blaine," Kurt corrected me as Dr. Villa was doing the usual procedure, checking his eyes and ears, then his mouth.

"Well if you think you can handle it then why not? Do you have crutches?" Dr. Villa asked Kurt, wrapping the fabric around Kurt's arm to check for blood pressure. Kurt nodded instantly.

"Then I see no problem. Bring the wheelchair home just in case and if you're doing fine on the crutches next week, give the wheelchair back," Dr. Villa reminded us and we all nodded in reply.

After Kurt's blood pressure was wrote down, Dr. Villa told Kurt to take his shirt off and Kurt complied. "Deep breaths for me."

After a simple procedure, Dr. Villa was ready to get deeper into Kurt's check-up as Kurt clutched his T-shirt (yes, I made Kurt wear a T-shirt) nervously.

He asked us questions and wrote everything down, then looked back at his answers in admiration before speaking.

"Alright, ready to take this bandage off?" Dr. Villa asked Kurt. Kurt's reply was an adorable lit-up smile and a rapid shake of the head. Dr. Villa chuckled and instructed him to lie flat on his back.

"Blaine," Kurt reminded me.

"Oh yeah," I said as I rushed over to Kurt's side and offered him a hand to squeeze onto. Burt stood by Dr. Villa at a safe distance, watching the procedure. Dr. Villa placed his hands on Kurt's stomach. Kurt automatically flinched and shivered a little.

"Is it still sensitive?" Dr. Villa asked Kurt.

Kurt shook his head, "No but your hands are cold."

Dr. Villa laughed, "Sorry. Not much I can do working in a cold E.R all day."

"It's fine. I'll live through it," Kurt shrugged attempting to make a joke but the three of us all held grave, sullen faces at what Kurt actually has lived through to be lying on this examination bed.

It took a while for the bandage to be taken off since there were so many layers but after repetitive times of Kurt arching his back and Dr. Villa un-wrapping the gauze material from Kurt's abdomen, the last piece of material was taken off, and there laid Kurt's stitched up cut in plain sight.

From what I could remember, this is the first time I've seen Kurt's cut. When I finally saw Kurt shirtless for the first time, he had the material around him and this is the first time I've been to a cleansing session per say. I tried not to let a horrified expression show on my face because I was here to comfort Kurt. But honestly, it did affect me.

When Kurt saw my face his face fell. "Ugly, isn't it?" he frowned.

"It's a lot better than it was, Kurt," Dr. Villa told him firmly, reminding him that speaking negative about his situation wasn't good for him.

"It's not ugly. I just need to get used to it," I said softly, rubbing his hand.

"You didn't have to before this happened," Kurt mumbled.

"That's enough, Kurt," Burt spoke up and Kurt sucked his lips in, refusing to say another word for his father.

Dr. Villa rubbed a finger over the cut, experimenting how sensitive it was to the touch. Kurt's belly flinched at the sudden touch but his face remained emotionless. "How's it feel?" he asked Kurt.

"A little weird because of the stitches but no pain," Kurt replied.

"Good. I'm bringing your pain medication down a bit because of that," My heart soared when Dr. Villa said that, does this mean fewer outbursts? I'm pretty sure Kurt's heart soared too because he squeezed my hand when Dr. Villa said that.

"But if you experience severe discomfort let me know and I'll up your medication again, give you a new subscription. Now I know you eat healthy Kurt, healthier than any teenage boy I've met but I want you to limit your dairy intake because this will help the healing process for the cut. I still want you drinking two cups of milk a day since you're only seventeen but as far as the rest goes…very limited or none, alright?"

Kurt immediately nodded.

"Okay I need to do your usual anal testing so—"

"Blaine, please leave," Kurt said shortly, interrupting Dr. Villa.

"Do you not want him to stay?" Dr. Villa asked confused.

"My dad yes but not Blaine he's my _boyfriend_ I don't want him seeing—"

"We can cover you up where he can't see but don't you want him to see what does it look like in there?"

"You can do that?" I asked with high hopes but Kurt shook his head profusely and if looks could shoot daggers into people's eye sockets, I'm sure Dr. Villa would have about ten daggers in his eye sockets by Kurt's glare.

"Okay I—I'll go it's not a…a big deal," I said, relieving Kurt although I did always wonder what it looked like. "I'll see you later, kay?" I kissed Kurt's knuckles and left the examination room.

I took a seat in the waiting room and sighed, throwing my head back against the seat.

I wanted to see what it looks like in there so badly. Not because I'm a gigantic, disgusting, pervert but because I've gone so far. I've seen, heard, and know pretty much everything about Kurt's attack except for what he looks like inside.

I know it has to look bad but I'm his boyfriend and I'd like to think I'm important in his life…I know Kurt's uncomfortable sometimes with things like this but I'm not some disgusting criminal who would get off on the sight of that. It's like a progression for _me_.

Also, I know I should support Kurt's decision in not pressing charges but he does have the most evidence, the most damage. But could it be too late? Since he's healing. What if he finally decides to press charges and all evidence is gone? Is that his plan?

Wait a minute…I remember Mindy mentioning something about pictures before…a suspicious grin formed on my face as I headed to the front desk.

ooOOoo

Chapter Reviews for Chapter Fourteen:

**Cutiepi97**:

I will edit the previous chapter and re-upload it! Sorry for the confusion!

**LeBeauAJ:**

Why thank you, such sweet feedback! But as for Charles…we MIGHT be introduced to him soon (;

**tdg2249**:

Thank you! Here's more! (;

**Sarahamanda:**

Thanks. Here's a new update!

**OhLookAKlainebow: **

I will edit the previous chapter and re-upload it! Sorry for the confusion!

**Nbjd:**

We will have to see about Blaine's mother but as long as they have each other how can they not be happy? (; and thank you! Here's another update! Enjoy! (:

**A/N: Oh no…what is Blaine planning? Also will Kurt ever change his mind about pressing charges? Find out in the next chapter which will be next week! In the meantime, check out "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and "Getting To Know You" if you haven't already. Don't forget to REVIEW! I absolutely love hearing your feedback! Love and Klainebows to all! (:**


	16. Chapter 16: The Demand

**A/N: A day late! Yes, I am aware! This week has been crazy busy getting ready for classes next week and of course, movie work. But it's here! I won't be updating this story for another three weeks so next Monday is another story of mine that will be updated though: "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" If you haven't checked that story out, check it out because there will be a new chapter of THAT story next Monday. This is an important chapter for Kurt and Blaine, mainly Blaine, and it ends with a cliffhanger. Enjoy! (;**

**Warnings: Swearing, hysterical!Blaine ha ha **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property belongs to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Sixteen: The Demand

ooOOoo

"Blaine I can't give you the documents. They fully belong to Kurt and his father."

"I know but I _need_ to see it."

"Trust me; you don't want to see it," Mindy reassured me.

"You don't _know_ what I want! Just let me see the pictures!" I snapped, leaning a little closer to her from over the counter. Her eyes grew wide seeing my sudden anger.

"You know I don't want to do this to you but if you can't control yourself, I'll have to call security to escort you out of here," she said quietly.

"I just want to help him. He needs help, and _he_ deserves to be in jail," I sobbed, probably not making any sense to her. First I demanded the documents, and then I yelled, and now I'm crying. This is probably what Kurt feels like during his outbursts. I don't know what possessed me to do this, but now I really want those pictures: the proof of Kurt's attack.

Right now, I want them more than anything.

I was probably making Mindy uncomfortable but then again, working in a hospital has working with tempered or emotional customers in the job title.

"You and I both know he deserves to be in jail but this is _Kurt's_ decision. Looking at these won't change Kurt's mind," she tried to explain rationally.

I groaned and shook my head. "Kurt doesn't know what he wants. He isn't thinking straight."

"Why do you think that?" she shrugged.

I sighed, "Because his emotions can change at the drop of a pen, he has lots of medicine going through his body at the same time that messes with his hormones. His panic attacks are holding him back on top of that. Trust me; Kurt isn't in the right mind to make decisions for himself."

"And you are?" Mindy raised an eyebrow, challenging me.

I shrugged. "Of course I am. I know what's best for him."

"You _think_ you do," she clarified. I narrowed my eyes at her statement; does she really think that of all people _I_ don't know what's best for him?

"Excuse me?" I asked, offended at her accusation.

"Blaine you are _just_ Kurt's boyfriend. Inviting him into your home and following the doctor's orders and helping him cope is amazing. But pushing Kurt to do things and make decisions is not what you need to do," she explained softly.

I sucked in my lips, blinking back tears. Why is this so hard to explain to everyone? "But I care about him, I'm not just his boyfriend I'm just _best_ friend. If anyone knows more about the right decision he should have, it's me."

"You don't think his father does?"

"Of _course_ but before his father was even allowed to see him, I was the only one in there. I've seen Kurt at his absolute worse. I...I need that man in jail," I stressed, shuddering at the thought of Charles Dunway still remaining around Lima, while me and Kurt's family are working our asses off to heal Kurt.

"Because of what you saw?" asked Mindy.

I nodded, remembering that when I first saw Kurt, that what I wanted more than anything, was to have that man put in jail. "Yes and for Kurt's sake. This man needs to be stopped, my father is the lawyer for the rest of Dunway's victims and he says Kurt has the most evidence. If that evidence can prove to the court that this happened, then all of this can stop and Kurt can sleep well at night. I…Kurt needs to be safe," I explained, pressing a finger into my temple trying to massage out a headache.

Mindy grinned at me, I guess for some reason she was satisfied with my answer. "Have you tried explaining this to Kurt?" she asked.

I let out a small laugh and shook my head. "He won't listen. He's got a hard head and he'll just get emotional."

"He might," Mindy pressed.

"My dad already tried." I shook my head once more.

"But _you_ haven't." I suddenly looked up at her. Of all the time I told Kurt I supported his decision…could I really have the nerve to remind him of my dad? Would he listen if it's me? "If Kurt gives me the okay for you to have these then you can own your own copies. But for now, the only people who have authority to these documents are Kurt and his father. I'm sorry," Mindy apologized.

For some reason, I felt a lot better after talking with her and she actually knew what to say. It was so helpful and stress relieving.

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

"For what?" she smiled back, confused.

I offered her a crooked grin and shrugged. "I don't know I guess I just…needed to talk to someone? And giving me the right instructions. You should go into psychology." I smirked at her and she blushed, offering me a wave of the hand.

"Always here to help."

A clicking on the hospital's tile floor averted my gaze from Mindy; I saw Burt and a tired Kurt Hummel enter the lobby.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I kneeled down to Kurt's level and asked him gently.

"Sore," Kurt mumbled.

"He just woke up. Still tired," Burt alarmed me. I nodded at him.

"Did they take more pictures?" I eyed Burt, wondering why Kurt is sore again. He nodded at me. "Come on, we'll go to your parents house and spend the day there and pack for the rest of the week, okay?" I grinned brightly at Kurt who was still sleepy and looked up at me with droopy eyes. I chuckled, he looked adorable even though. I kissed his forehead and took the wheelchair from Burt, wheeling him to my car.

ooOOoo

Pulling up at Kurt's house always makes me nervous. I look around his street for any abnormal vehicles or activity and then I carefully pull into his driveway. Charles Dunway knows this house, he knows Kurt lives here—somehow, I still don't know how he knows Kurt's name—and he could show up at any moment.

But showing up during the day with me, Finn, Burt, and Carole here with Kurt would probably not be something an experienced attacker would do…hopefully. Kurt fell asleep on the way home so Burt carried him inside and set him down on the couch, letting him rest before fully waking up alert.

I lifted Kurt's head on the couch enough so I could sit in the spot and then placed his head in my lap. Burt took a seat in the recliner and turned the TV on and the volume low, then changing the channel to a sports channel which was showing highlights from a football game last night.

I couldn't help but watch Burt uncomfortably. He knows _everything_ about what Kurt looks like inside and I don't. A little insecure jealousy began to rise up in me…Could he tell me? Is that possible?

"How did it go?" I asked him nervously, after thinking through possibly a million questions in my head to ask him.

"Come again?" Burt glanced at me, then back to this TV.

I bit my lip, trying to explain what I was wanting. "The…the _last_ _test_. Is everything…improving?"

But paused the TV and began to look at me, almost amused. I raised my eyebrows in confusion at him, as to why he continued to stare at me like that.

"He hasn't told you what happened, huh?" he asked with a small smile.

I quietly groaned "No. I just…I know it might make me sick but I _have_ to know. It's killing me," I strained to him.

"I'd tell you buddy but Kurt might kill me. You want to know _anything_, you're gonna have to ask him." I bit my lip at that; I knew this wouldn't end well. "But I can tell you they tested him for STD's. Ever since we found out Kurt's number six for Charles…we wanted to make sure he got tested," Burt added uncomfortably.

That interested me. STD's. I hadn't thought of that. "And?" I asked, my head perking up in interest.

"Won't know until tomorrow," Burt mumbled. I frowned; a little worried at the results. If this turned out positive…which could add to every horrible possible thing happening to Kurt…this might even break him worse or our relationship, and if it turned out negative, it could possibly give me some kind of hope that things will gradually get better.

"Dad? B-Blaine?" A mumbled, achy voice asked from below, interrupting my thoughts. I looked down and saw Kurt's eyes slowly open and he yawned.

"I'm right here. You're dads over there," I assured him, gently rubbing his shoulder.

"I'm thirsty," Kurt mumbled, arching his back up, but Burt immediately responded and stood up from his recliner.

"I'll get you a bottle of water, kiddo." Burt was out of the living room in seconds and Kurt laid back down, his head in my lap.

"Hey, are you feeling any better?" I asked him gently, combing my fingers through his hair.

"A little. The sleep was good but I'm still a little sore," Kurt mumbled sleepily, obviously enjoying what I was doing to his hair.

"I'm sure you'll feel better by tomorrow." Kurt nodded sleepily into my lap as I grabbed one of his hands and kissed his knuckles.

"Here you go, bud. Might want to sit up," Burt instructed Kurt, Kurt nodded sleepily again and sat beside me on the couch, grabbing his bottle of water. He took the bottle and continued to drink non-stopping like he hasn't had anything in days.

He let out a sigh of relief after he finished.

"Do you want some more?" Burt asked him.

"No, I'm good." Kurt shook his head, displaying a shy little smile. Burt grunted and resumed the playback, I watched mildly interested while Kurt watched showing absolutely no enthusiasm at all, but still didn't complain since he knew I liked it.

After a commercial break showed, the three of us heard Carole yell for Burt downstairs and he paused the TV, following after her voice. Kurt and I agreed it would be a good time to start packing things for the following week at my house. I got up from the couch and offered to get his wheelchair but he shook his head, wanting to walk.

I bit my lip nervously and watched him stand up without struggle. It took him a while but he finally made it to his room, there were times where his knees would began to shake and he would hiss in pain but then he'd hold onto the wall and wait for a while, then start walking again.

He collapsed onto his bed, panting and whimpering.

"I could have got your crutches." I shrugged, opening up Kurt's suitcase for him.

"I wanted to see what would happen," Kurt managed to reply between heavy breaths.

"Well I guess that answered your question then," I mumbled to myself but Kurt heard me and continued to glare at me. "Where are they?" I asked, hoping to enlighten our banter.

"Where are _what_?" Kurt asked, confused with my question.

"Your crutches…" I answered slowly.

"Closet." Kurt pointed to his closet and I immediately walked to the closet door, opening it and glancing around for a glimpse of his crutches. After stumbling around and looking through unused boxes, hangers thrown in the floor, and some old notebooks, I found the crutches lying on the floor.

"I found them," I announced to Kurt who was now standing up and looking through his dresser for clothes.

"Okay," he offered as a reply and nodded. I watched him, noticing his knees started to buckle from standing up and he supported himself against the wooden furniture. I bit my lip, feeling nervous about him standing up for such a long amount of time.

"I can do that just...just sit on the bed," I instructed him carefully.

He rolled his eyes, "I need to pick out my clothes."

"Well I did it fine last time," I offered, a little offended.

"Please let me do this. I want to plan my outfits myself," Kurt pressed. I frowned, recognizing that he was indicating how he hated people doing everything for him. For _once_ he wants to do something for himself because Kurt is just that kind of person; a usually strong-willed, independent person.

"Then you can sit and tell me what to get. I just don't want you to get hurt," I said gently. He huffed but sat on his bed anyway. After what seemed like an hour and a half of planning outfits for the next week and folding them accordingly to Kurt's suggestions, he had his clothes packed for the rest of the week.

"Want to watch TV?" Kurt asked, grabbing his remote.

"Actually I was…was wanting us to talk," I replied, a little shaky.

This is it.

This is the moment when I can officially say I asked Kurt to re-think his decision on pressing charges. Whatever the ending answer will be or how heated this becomes…I _need_ to do this; I've been struggling with his decision ever since he confirmed it. Ultimately, everything needs to be out in the open for us.

"Sure," Kurt shrugged, smiling brightly and patted a spot on the bed beside him for me to sit. I sat and grinned at Kurt, he laughed, grinning back. "What do you want to talk about?" he chuckled.

God, I love his laugh. But I know when I suggest this…his face might completely turn scary and not lit up all adorable-like like it is now.

"You," I replied, a little nervous but looking at him straight into his blue eyes.

"Me?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Well more along the lines of your…_decision_," I clarified, looking at Kurt anxious. And man was I right. The smile from his face faded and his eyes were no longer bright and cheery, almost dark…even angry. I don't know if this is him or his emotions but…I was honestly scared of how this would end.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" he asked quietly. I nodded, silently. He swallowed thickly and looked to the complete opposite side of the room. "Well there isn't really anything to talk about. I'm not pressing charges and there isn't anything else to it." He shrugged.

"Okay but can we talk about how I feel about it?" I asked quietly.

He let out a sarcastic laugh. "How _you_ feel? Blaine this is none of your business."

"You're none of my business?" I raised an eyebrow.

He sighed, "Of course I am but this…" He gestured down his body "these problems of mine are _completely_ mine. I'm not going to press charges and you shouldn't worry about what I decide to do. It doesn't involve you," he said bitterly.

"Yes it does." I argued.

"How?" he rolled his eyes dramatically.

I bit my lip before giving Kurt my answer, I know I shouldn't bring this up but it's how I feel. "Because this wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me."

"Please don't bring that up," Kurt pleaded, his angry, mocking, voice instantly gone. Maybe his emotions were causing that previous reaction…or maybe right now he just really had some weird attitude adjustment.

"And besides that, Kurt you are my whole world." I took his hand and looked him straight in the eye. He smiled shyly but instantly wiped it away. "Maybe normal boyfriends wouldn't be so involved with their girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever but I'm a little different, and you want to know why?

"Because I stuck with you through thick and thin in that hospital room, I was all you had and you were all I had. I sacrificed time, gas, sleep, studying…any other possible thing so that I could be with you."

Kurt jerked his hand away and crossed his arms, feeling guilty. "I didn't tell you to do all that," he grumbled.

"But I _wanted_ to. I knew that the best part of our day was when I left Dalton and saw you in that cold, boring room and a normal boyfriend wouldn't do that. You might think this is best for you but it's _not_." I took a deep breath before continuing, trying to remember what I told Mindy previously so that I could bring it up to Kurt.

"Ever since I saw you for the first time…after the attack…I—I sort of made an oath that I would do whatever it took to get him in jail," I admitted.

"That includes pressuring me into things? Blaine you don't know how grateful I am for doing everything you have done for me for the past two months. Every day just confirmed to me why I chose to be your boyfriend. But this should completely be _mine_ to decide," he argued.

"You're going to regret doing this though." I shook my head, completely standing my ground…metaphorically.

"I _can't_ do that. You know I can't see him, I can't have a _panic attack_ in the _court room_, Blaine!" Kurt screamed.

"Is your reputation _so_ important that you'd sacrifice that than to bring justice to this?" I questioned him.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. I couldn't notice how his eyes seemed to gleam more right now than when we started talking.

"I _have_ no reputation! You don't know what it's like to have to go through all this, to have to go through damn panic attacks, emotional outbursts, scars, bruises…I don't want to press charges because I'm scared. I'm terrified of him!" Kurt yelled and I gasped.

I instantly knew why he was so determined to not go to court. It's not because he knows it will be on national TV and he's too hard headed to agree.

He's scared of Charles.

This guy had turned Kurt into a terrified person, possibly everywhere he goes. Kurt began to sob loudly, not having the ability to speak from the pressure of his cries.

I wrapped my arms around my shaking boyfriend carefully and patted his hair, kissing it as well.

"Sh… Calm down, it's okay," I murmured, rubbing his arms. I couldn't help but notice how light he felt when I hugged him, now that the bandage was removed from his stomach.

"No…No it's not okay," he sobbed into my chest.

"He _wants_ you to be terrified of him. If you don't press charges that will just prove that he's right and he'll continue doing this wherever he goes," I said softly, noticing his sobs got quieter.

"Well it worked because I'm scared on my life for him. I don't want to see him anymore; after I heal I just want to forget," Kurt admitted, sniffing once or twice.

"But don't you think this could be _part_ of the healing process?" I wondered out loud. He lifted his head up from my chest and looked confused into my eyes. I held his hands in mine, explaining further. "If we go into court maybe you will have a panic attack maybe not, but that's just because of you seeing him. Then when you see him _again_ it won't happen again, just like all the other times you've had panic attacks. You'll begin to heal further in this process of completely eliminating panic attacks."

Kurt seemed to want to agree with me but he bit his lip and looked away hesitantly. "But he'll—he'll laugh at me, he'll have everyone laughing at me." His eyes grew wide, imaging the picture of an entire court room laughing.

I began to imagine it too. It seemed horrifying. But then again, so is this whole situation. When I first found out Kurt was attacked, I _was_ horrified.

"_I_ won't laugh. You know through the whole time I'll be by your side. Being whatever you need me to be." I comforted him, a small smile showed on his face at my words. "I want you to be safe," I added.

"Can I—Can I think about this?" Kurt asked weakly.

"Of course I just…I just wanted to talk about it," I shrugged.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" Kurt sniffed into his hand.

"No, that's it," I lied, desperately wanting to bring up the subject about seeing his inside bruises but knew Kurt can only take so much pressure right now. I don't want to scare him; I need for him to re-think pressing charges.

"Okay. So do you want to watch TV?"

ooOOoo

"So did you talk with Kurt?" asked Burt.

Kurt was currently upstairs in the living room—since I was downstairs in the basement—going over some homework. I knew how much Kurt needed his space with this big project so I decided to give him some time for a couple hours or until he finished and help Burt downstairs with the laundry.

"Yeah, I did." I nodded, folding a huge jersey which could belong to none other than Finn.

"Wow, and?" Burt asked, with huge surprise in his voice.

"Well I didn't talk with about the—the pictures but I talked with him about the reason that I _wanted_ to see the pictures." I shrugged a shoulder smiling; placing the jersey on Finn's clothing pile.

"And what was that?" Burt asked, grabbing a bra from the dryer which made my nose crinkle up, that must be Carole's…at least I hope so.

"I think it would be best for Kurt if he pressed charges. You know, taking Charles to court like all the other victims are doing," I began, beginning on a new shirt which obviously had to be Kurt's. I smiled at the thought of doing Kurt's laundry.

"Yeah I agree. How did that go?" Burt asked a little unconvinced.

"Well not so good at first but he's going to think about it." I shrugged.

"Well let me tell you something kiddo, that's progress for Kurt. He has the stubbornness of a mule, once he has his mind made up, there's usually no stopping. So congrats on your part," Burt smirked.

"Thanks and believe me I know," I chuckled a little.

"We all heard how it went so I think you did a good job of helping him by the way," Burt suggested a little uncomfortable.

"All three of you were outside Kurt's door?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No but you two were arguing pretty loud."

I kept my eyebrow raised, not buying it.

"I'm serious! You two were pretty vocal about your opinions," Burt laughed. I shrugged a shoulder and shook my head, agreeing.

"Yeah we usually are," I chuckled, awkwardly folding a large pair of briefs knowing it was Finn's.

The doorbell rang.

"Kurt! You still in the living room?!" Burt yelled, making me flinch a little and cover my ears laughing.

"Yes, still working!" he yelled back, replying.

"You got your crutches near you?!" Burt yelled again and I sighed, why couldn't he just go up the stairs and answer the door?

"Yes!" Kurt yelled back.

"Answer the door, son!" Burt yelled. I laughed, imagining how Kurt didn't get the hint. I went onto a pair of smaller briefs, and blushing a little, and realized Kurt must have answered the door because I heard murmured voices and Kurt didn't yell back anything to Burt.

"Get everything packed?" Burt asked, starting up a new conversation. I never knew Burt to be the talkative type during awkward moments.

"Yeah. Kurt's pretty satisfied with the clothes it took him an _hour and a half_ to pick out," I stressed and Burt laughed loudly.

"That's progress. It used to take Kurt two hours to pick out one outfit for school," Burt said. I gasped, imaging how long that would take us. I just pick out a clean uniform and make sure it's not wrinkled.

Before Burt could suggest something about the horrified look on my face, I heard Kurt from upstairs, screaming and terrified.

It terrified me.

"Blaine! Dad! Help, please! Ugh, leave me al—" It seemed Kurt couldn't finish his sentence because maybe it was muffled or something else happened to him. But Burt and I wasted no time thinking about it. As soon as we heard Kurt scream "help" we dropped our pieces of clothing and dashed up the stairs together.

For me it was horrifying, it was like that night all over again. The only thing that was running through my mind was:

You screwed up. Charles is here.

**A/N: Sorry! No chapter review replies on this chapter but it would look really sad since I only got one review but if this chapter gets more I will reply to that review ON TOP of the next ones I get so…send me your reviews! I love feedback! Now love and Klainebows to all! **


	17. Chapter 17: The Final Decision

**A/N: Chapter Seventeen is finally here! IMPORTANT: This chapter is told ENTIRELY in KURT'S POV. Sorry for the cliffhanger guys:/ I'm not going to say it's not near as bad as you think but it is still pretty terrifying for Kurt. Next week is an update on "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" and "Getting To Know You" is after that. So it will be another three weeks for Chapter 18! Meanwhile check out my other stories if you haven't yet, I've also posted the first chapter of a brand new story I will start when this one is finished. It's called "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"**

**Okay that's enough! Enjoy!(:**

**Warning! Swearing, Homophobic language, SEXUAL ASSAULT**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property belongs to Fox, Ryan Murphy and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter Seventeen: The Final Decision

ooOOoo

"Answer the door, son!" I heard Dad yell from downstairs. I groaned and pushed my books to the side of the couch as the doorbell rang again. I don't know who this could be, maybe someone ordered food? It's late though.

I walked to the door on my crutches, smirking at myself from accomplishment and then opened the door.

Oh my god.

It's Jimmy.

One of the guys who beat me up, hate-kissed, and gagged me. His eyes seem to pierce into me. I felt so uncomfortable around him, knowing he's seen me naked and tortured me. Just seeing him caused my mind to go into a panic overload. My vision started to blur and I started to hyperventilate.

"Hey, hey I'm not gonna hurt you. Just breathe, alright?" I heard a dim voice.

Before my panic attack started to control my thoughts and visions, I managed to calm myself down. When he was in plain sight again, I placed a hand on the door and was ready to close it in his face.

He also put his hand up on the door and I gasped, fear creeping into me.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk, please?"

My mouth was agape. I can't even try to register the thoughts that are going through my mind. I'm terrified of him, of what he did to me, now he wants to talk?

"You're the one who _he_ made kiss me…and then gag me," I breathed out, still in shock.

"Yes that _was_ me but I really just want to talk," Jimmy pleaded.

Something is weird about this.

He does look genuine but how could I let him into my home after all the hell he put me through?

I shook my head, skeptical. "Did you know I had to spend a month in the hospital? A _month_. I still have to go on checkups because I can't walk right and when Charles raped me he left bruises. My stomach bandage was taken off _today_," I stressed.

He bit his lip. "I know but—"

"Do you think a talk is going to solve everything?" I interrupted him, lowering my voice.

He bit his lip again, a little hesitant to answer. "Probably not but I need to get this off my chest."

I can't judge him. If he wants to talk to me he should be able to, maybe it is genuine. Also it's not like anything bad would happen with Blaine and Dad downstairs.

"Fine. But there are people in this house currently who are willing to murder you so keep that in mind," I said before opening the door wider and stumbling to the side with my crutches, letting him enter. He walked directly to the living room couch and I closed the door behind him, following after.

"School work?" Jimmy pointed at my Biology notes and helped himself to a seat on the couch. I nodded and began to scoop up my work so I could sit beside him. He grabbed a piece of paper, studying it. "Special ED?" he asked, a little too intrigued.

I grabbed the paper from him and placed my work on the end table before answering. "I can't go into normal classes because I have emotional outbursts because of all the medication I'm on, from what your attack caused." I sat down, placing my crutches beside me on the floor and keeping a comfortable distance from him.

"It wasn't _my_ attack, it was Charles," Jimmy clarified defensively.

I shook my head, not buying it. "Yes and you, some guy named Fred, and two other men followed along."

He looked away suddenly and the room fell silent. This is so weird; it's like awkward on top of awkward. I never wanted to see their faces again after the pain _he_ put me through, and now here one of his helpers is…sitting a small distance away from me on my couch.

Wow, I am brave.

"We never broke anyone's legs before…he wanted to try that out on his next victim," Jimmy admitted awkwardly.

I really didn't know what to say to that, or _why_ he told me that…starting conversation I assume? I raised my eyebrows, "You must be proud of yourself. I'm just starting to walk well without pain," I inputted and he bit his lip, like he was trying to refrain from saying something to me.

"When Charles saw you and your…your um—"

"He's my boyfriend," I interrupted him, almost rolling my eyes. Can these homophobes not even understand what he _is_ to me? Of the smallest title?

"Right. When he saw you two doing that in his property…he got your license plate number and your information. We went to that store one day and saw your boyfriend there and we were going to attack _him_…but we lost our crowbar. A few days later…that's when you arrived," he explained.

Huh.

I guess that's how he knows my name and address. My heart dropped knowing that this could have happened to Blaine.

"Oh. I'm glad this didn't happen to Blaine," I said quietly.

The room remained quiet before Jimmy turned to face me and his eyes seemed to pierce into me again; like there was an overwhelming flow of judgment and hatred in his eyes.

"Charles left a note in your car, didn't he?" he asked, his voice growing darker and sending shivers down my spine. It felt like that night two months ago all over again.

I gasped. "How do you—"

"He wants to kill you. We were sure that through all the pain we caused you that you were to kill yourself by now," he interrupted, nearing closer to me and my eyes widened. My mouth stood open, I should have known this would happen. I can't believe I thought he was genuine.

"What are you—"

"You don't _deserve_ to live. You're disgusting, just like your boyfriend. You know where your raped little ass and broken legs deserve to be? In hell," he taunted me, his face inches away from mine.

Please don't kiss me. Please don't kiss me.

I swallowed thickly, almost shaking from his harsh words. "_You_ deserve to go to hell. I thought you wanted to apologize," I said quietly.

Before I could blink, he had a gun in his left hand and pointed it at my throat; he grabbed it from inside his jacket. His face was still inches from mine, and was poking my skin with the cold object.

My breath hitched in my throat, how long did Blaine and dad say they were gonna be down there?

"Turn straight or I'll shoot you," he muttered darkly into my ear, his teeth almost scraping the skin, causing me to whimper.

These assholes… like a person can _turn_ straight.

"If you continue on this sick, disgusting lifestyle I _will_ shoot you," he whispered in my ear.

My hands began to shake as tears sprung into my eyes. How am I supposed to get out of this? I did what entered my mind on extinct:

Scream for help.

"Blaine! Dad! Help, please!" I squealed.

Then I felt his rough hand palm me through my jeans. I gasped, I felt so violated and disgusting, and he was being so rough it _hurt_. "Ugh, leave me al—"

Before I could finish Jimmy gagged me with something else from his inside pocket of his jacket. It felt like some sort of material. I didn't see because I was focused on him groping me roughly and the gun to my throat.

"That's your boyfriend's name, huh? The sick little fuck toy you like to think of?" he spat in my face.

Then he squeezed me.

Hard.

I arched my back and squealed, closing my eyes tight because it hurt so badly. He must have liked that reaction because he continued to squeeze my soft penis, and then I continued to squeal from pain.

"Yeah, you probably like that, don't you?" he breathed in my ear.

Before I was sure he could damage me down there, I heard footsteps and my dad's voice:

"Leave him alone!"

I saw dad and Blaine enter from the corner of my eye. They were both terrified looking but dad seemed more stern, like he could punch this guy in the face.

When the gun was removed from my face and his hands from my pants I rolled over to the side of the couch, feeling like I should hide myself from being so embarrassed. God, this is humiliating. Oh my god, I can't breathe. I started to wheeze, so scared.

"Get out of my house or I'll call the cops!" I heard my dad yell one last time before I heard some loud footsteps and the door close shut. I began to cry, so humiliated and scared and feeling so disgusting. Why do they want to do this to me?

As tears poured from my eyes, I saw Blaine crouch down in-front of the couch; rushing to my side. He just watched me, looking cautious and in control, careful not to touch me.

I felt dad's hand on my shoulder. "Son, what—"

"Please dad go. Just please go," I weakly sobbed into the couch cushion. Blaine looked at me pitifully as a silence fell.

I heard dad clear his throat before speaking. "I'll finish folding laundry. Come get me when he calms down," he said, speaking to Blaine and patting him on the shoulder.

"Do you want me to leave too?" Blaine asked worried, looking my in the eyes. I feel like I need to be alone for some reason. I'm so embarrassed that Blaine saw Jimmy touch me. I don't want anyone to touch me right now. But then…Blaine always makes me feel better.

"I don't know," I sobbed, so confused. I felt weight beside me on the couch and heard Blaine's soft murmur:

"Come here."

I didn't even think. I didn't even rationalize if Blaine would hurt or touch me. I turned and held onto him tight as I felt his loving arms wrap around me. There was silence and no words exchanged for a while as he sat there in the silence, waiting for me to calm down.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked quietly, probably thinking about the horrific scene that he saw.

"No, not too bad I don't think so. I just want them to leave me _alone_," I cried, shaking my head into his stomach.

"I do too," he agreed.

Before I could even want to think about what came out of my mouth, I knew this was what did it for me. This is what caused me to change my mind.

"I want to press charges," I cried. For a while I didn't think Blaine was going to say anything, which kind of freaked me out. Isn't he the one who suggested I think about this? After a minute or so, and me getting a little worried, I heard Blaine speak up.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

I nodded almost violently. "Yes I just—I don't want to worry about living anymore," I said as I felt his fingers through my hair. "Could I talk to your dad?" I asked him. If I was to go to any lawyer, why not Blaine's dad?

He's probably the only non-homophobe lawyer in Lima who would _want_ to help me; I think he even suggested it one time. He also is working with all of Charles's other victims.

"Of—Of course you can," Blaine replied.

I smiled into his shirt, my crying slowly coming to a stop. This really did scare me, going to court about this. But I don't think it could be any scarier than another one of Charles's buddies, maybe even Charles himself, coming into my home and trying to kill me.

This must be stopped.

I can't live like this anymore, I need justice, and I need my life back.

ooOOoo

We lay like that for a while.

Blaine sitting on the couch with my face buried into his shirt and my head on his thigh. Most of the time we laid it was quiet, even after I let out all of my tears. But sometimes he would rake his hands through my hair or rub my shoulders or back.

He was comforting me without words, letting me know that somehow everything will be okay. We've gone this far, right?

"I'll be right back," I heard Blaine say quietly while he was rubbing my back. I sat up out of his way and he left the room and went downstairs. I smiled watching him leave to go get my father.

I looked around; oh no I'm alone again. I started to squirm in my seat waiting for them to come back. Is this what it's going to feel like every time I'm alone?

Like someone can come in, unannounced, and threaten and physically violate me?

I heard footsteps become louder and then Dad and Blaine appeared from the back of the room. Blaine sat beside me and put his arm around my back as dad sat on the other side of me on the couch.

"Did you know who he was?" Dad asked quietly.

I nodded; blinking back tears that I didn't know could form after all that I've cried. "Yes I knew his name, and I knew what he did to me."

Blaine bit his lip, like he was trying to stop himself from saying something.

"Then why did you let him in?" Dad questioned.

"I didn't want to at first. I almost had a panic attack when I first saw him. But he looked so sincere and he kept asking to apologize. Even when I let him in he didn't do anything. We were sitting there and that's when he started moving close to me and—and threatening me," I replied, trying to stop an embarrassing, emotional hiccup from releasing.

"You thought he really meant to apologize?" Blaine asked.

"Not at first but he really wanted to and I just—if it was real I didn't want to be mean and turn him down," I sighed, shrugging; just now realizing how stupid I was to let Jimmy in.

"What else did he do?" Dad asked.

I took a deep, shaky sigh. I hate talking about this. I hate talking about the things these men do to me because I feel disgusting and so embarrassed.

"He kept saying…ugly things right in my ear. I could feel his breath on my face," I began, feeling Blaine's grip around my back tighten a little in anger. "His face was right in-front of mine and then he—he took out a gun and told me to turn straight or he'd shoot me." I shook my head.

"Is he insane?" Dad yelled.

"Just ignorant, close-minded people have no idea that we can't _turn_ straight, like we can't _turn_ gay," Blaine answered for dad, indicating the "_we_" as the whole LGBT community I assumed. Dad just continued to shake his head in shame.

"Then he started…t—touching me. That's when I screamed for you and Blaine…then he gagged me and started squeezing me…then you two ran in," I finished, trying harder to control my voice's emotion a little more.

Dad reached over and patted my shoulder. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Dad you didn't do anything wrong. Please don't…" I trailed off.

"You shouldn't have to go through that. It's not right," he said.

"Well a larger portion of Lima would disagree," I muttered angry.

"They don't know what they're talking about. They are just bigoted homophobes who obviously has no life to be torturing innocent people like us," Blaine reminded me softly, rubbing my arm. I smiled weakly up at him, he never failed to remind me of the day I first met him:

ooOOoo

"_Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt."_

ooOOoo

No one said anything after that. Dad just sat there with a grim look on his face while Blaine's face looked sad but still welcoming to me. After a moment or two of silence I laid my head on Blaine's shoulder and he kissed my hair, wrapping his arm around my waist cautiously.

We were all tired. This day was shocking and terrifying enough for all of us to handle.

"Did you get your work done?" Dad asked, changing the subject after a while of silence.

"Almost," I shrugged, trying to not think of the even that happened when I was almost completed.

"You can finish the rest at Blaine's house I guess," Dad offered. I looked at the time. Wow, it was getting late.

I nodded and leant over to hug him, "Are you still coming to see me tomorrow?"

"Of course! You don't have to ask me that kiddo." Even though my face was buried in dad's shoulder, I could feel a smile in his voice. I grinned to myself and relaxed in my dad's arms before gathering up my things and heading back to Westerville.

ooOOoo

Even though Dad and Blaine probably scared the hell out of Jimmy, Blaine and I were still worried that any of Charles "helpers", or even Charles himself, could be looming around my street. Blaine knew a detour so we took that, just in case any of them sick men wanted to follow us. If they found out Blaine's address, I'd be really screwed…

Wait, Jimmy was here.

And Blaine's car was.

He could have got Blaine's license plate number before or after he left.

"Blaine?" I asked, worriedly.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning down the radio a little as he got into the left lane on the interstate, passing some farmer with his arm hanging out the window of his pick-up.

"Could you get another license plate tomorrow?" I asked, twiddling with my thumbs anxiously.

His bushy eyebrows rose as he continued to pass the pickup and then get over. "Why? I don't need to until at least eight more—"

I sighed, irritated. "Please? Can you just do it?" I stressed.

I was feeling a little anger rise up in me and in no time my emotion grew from a little irritation to shaking with rage.

"Baby, what's wrong? I'm not even sure I can get another one until this one expires."

"Well could you try?!" I screamed, slamming my hands down on my seat to try to get them to stop shaking.

Blaine sighed as he watched me, "I might if you tell me why," he said quietly.

After a couple minutes of silence filled with me trying to calm down and forget my irritation, my hands slowed down and I didn't feel like I was about to say something completely stupid and completely uncontrolled.

I took a deep breath before speaking, making sure my emotions were completely under control. "You were parked in my driveway today…Jimmy was there. Since Charles and his helpers know where I live they might have been looming around, checking the regular vehicles. Now that they know that one is yours they could have got your number and then they can find out where I'm staying. Or worse, they could do this to you, too."

I winced remembering what Jimmy said to me earlier this evening.

ooOOoo

_We went to that store one day and saw your boyfriend there and we were going to attack him but we lost our crowbar. A few days later…that's when you arrived."_

ooOOoo

"So you want me to get a new number, too?" Blaine asked slowly.

"Please, Blaine! This is important!" I snapped and then mentally cursed for the sudden outburst.

Damn. Just when I thought I had my outbursts controlled…

"I—I know its important baby. I'll just…I'll try to get one of those customized ones. That'll work. I'll go in the morning when they open. It'll be okay," Blaine reassured me, placing his free hand on my knee and gently rubbing it.

I sighed and nodded, relieved that my current address would be unknown to Charles and the rest. But how long does it take to find an address? It only takes an hour out of their time to get here. It was a while ago when Jimmy was out my house…

Oh god.

My eyes grew wide.

"What if they're already there when we get there?" I asked Blaine so fast I was surprised he knew what I said.

His eyebrows rose again and he just shook his head. "I don't think so…if they are, we can stay at Cooper's extra house when he comes to Ohio. He's in Cali right now so it's vacant. It's like two streets down."

I sighed and then smiled how Blaine stays calm during this crisis completely amazes me.

"Do you have a key?" I asked.

"Of course," Blaine replied with a small shrug.

I smiled as a plan began to form in my head. When we get to Blaine's house and if something looks abnormal we can just call Randall and make sure no one strange is there. And if so we can go to Cooper's old home.

We can stay there during the week and then when I see Dad, Carole, and Finn on the weekends maybe nothing horrifying will happen like today…

Unless they spot Blaine's car again.

"What about when we visit my dad again? They might come back," I said to Blaine in a rush, again.

Blaine let out a small chuckle. Why is he laughing? This isn't funny; this is my life I am worried about. I'm allowed to panic.

"We can park in someone else's yard and then walk. What about two houses down?" he smiled.

Two houses down? I raised an eyebrow as I envisioned my street, imaging who would live two houses down from me.

"Mr. Crayson's driveway?" I asked him, remembering the small brick house owned by an older man that hardly appears.

"You think he'll be alright with that?" Blaine asked me.

"I think so. All he does is stay inside and do puzzles. It's not like he goes anywhere. Except on Wednesdays when his daughter comes to visit," I remembered, seeing a college-student aged girl visiting him once during the week.

ooOOoo

During the remainder of the ride to Blaine's, we just listened to music and chatted occasionally. Our plan seemed foil-proof for now and I was extremely satisfied, also feeling a little tacky like Hannibal from the A-Team; loving when a plan comes together.

Thank you dad for making me watch that movie….

Blaine pulled up in his driveway and there were no suspicious cars or people looming around outside or the street. Maybe I was worried for nothing. Blaine began to walk towards the door while I rested my weight on my crutches; stumbling after him,

With my broken legs.

My deranged, never-knowing-when-I'm-gonna-snap, mind,

And my anal bruises that never seem to go away.

I limped slowly, eyes to the ground.

I _hate_ this.

I hate how pathetic my life is. My life was already pathetic enough; being a highly aware stereotypical gay in the Glee club, not being able to shop at some stores because "my lifestyle is offensive to some of the managers".

Now _this_?

This permanent attack that will never leave my mind? No matter how hard I try to fill my life with things I love…the attack still plays for me and it hurts, even if it's not actually happening.

"What's wrong, baby?" a soothing voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up and realized I didn't take more than four steps from the car and Blaine was standing in-front of me, his beautiful eyes filled with worry.

"I—I'm fine I just…today was a lot for me," I lied, shrugging, hoping he would buy it.

He bit his lip but nodded anyway and rubbed my shoulder.

"Come on. Let's go see if Dad's awake."

Chapter Reviews from Chapter Sixteen and Fifteen

16:

**LeBeauAJ** : Thank you! But yes Kurt did anyway): enjoy this chapter!

**Sarahamanda: **Thank you! Here's an update! Enjoy!(:

**nbjd: **Wow. I'm shocked to leave you speechless! *cue open mouth* But here is your answer and an update! Enjoy!(:

**herecomethefireworks****: **Sorry but yes! Enjoy!(: 

**sadiejane35**: Yes sorry again but the wait is now over!(:

**gleefreak102****: **Here's an update! And obviously you DO know what happens!:D enjoy!

**Mynamjo: **Yes sadly this IS Kurt's luck…and he IS partly okay! Thankfully he decided to press charges! Woot woot Blaine!

15:

**LeBeauAJ****: **Aw, thank you! That is so sweet! VIRTUAL KLAINE SUPPORTER HUGS for the only review on that chapter that belongs to you! ^_^

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! Leave a review on thoughts and feedback and I'll **_**always**_** reply on the next chapter! Coming up in three weeks: Kurt and Blaine talk to Blaine's dad and hear more from Blaine's mom and what's going on with Kurt's abnormal behavior and small lies. Next chapter post in three weeks! Stay tuned! Love and Klainebows to all! **


	18. Chapter 18: The Family Issues

**A/N: A day late! I know, I'm sorry! Busy again! And Wow! This story has reached up to 102 followers! Thank you all so, so much! Okay, this chapter is sort of filler for the progression this story is about to make. This chapter covers some small story lines I've been addressing like: Kurt pressing charges, Blaine's mom's problem with him and Kurt, and Kurt's emotions/depression. Also! I have uploaded an edited, easier-read version of the first two chapters of this story, AND I have edited a chapter that confused a lot of people: Chapter 14: The Plan. So if you want, you can check them out too after your read this update.**

**Warning! Swearing and talk of a sexual assault**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee or its characters. All property goes to Fox, Ryan Murphy, and the rest of its rightful owners.**

Finding Courage

Chapter 18: The Family Issues

Kurt and I walked bravely up to dad's office door and knocked. It _is_ late but when dad is working on a case he usually stays up late working on it, plus we saw the light on underneath the door.

"Who is it?" we heard him call out, his tone sounded irritated.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk to him." Kurt bit his lip, glancing at me nervous.

"No, we are." I insisted and placed my hand on his arm signaling that we are not going anywhere. "It's me and Kurt, dad." I announced to him.

"Come in," he sighed pretty loudly. Yes dad, I know you're busy but this is kind of important.

"I don't think—"

"Yes we are doing this Kurt, come on," I interrupted him, opening the door to my dad's office and following after Kurt stumbled in on his crutches. Dad's eyebrows rose at Kurt's crutches.

"No wheelchair?" he asked lowly, slightly intrigued but still seemed tired and irritated that we interrupted him.

"He's been walking pretty well for a while so we decided to try it out," I said after helping Kurt sit across from dad's desk, and after an I-can-sit-down-well-on-my-own glare from Kurt, I sat in the chair beside him.

"What is it?" Dad asked. I looked at Kurt with a nod of the head, telling him to talk. He shook his head with wide eyes, obviously terrified of my dad's frustration with us in his office. "What is it, Kurt?" Dad asked him.

Kurt sighed and wiped his hands on his pants. "I—I want to press charges," he squeaked.

Dad's eyebrows rose instantly, and all of the frustration that he was indicating to us previously melted away, he knew this was important. He placed his glasses on his desk and clasped his hands together.

"You do?" he asked, intrigued. Kurt nodded, swallowing thickly. "You decided this on your own?" Kurt nodded again. "What made you change your mind?"

"Dad," I warned him. Dad looked at me confused and I shot him a glance while I shook my head. Today was such a hard day I don't want Kurt to have to repeat it.

"So you want to go through trial?" Dad asked, ignoring his previous question.

"Yes, sir," Kurt replied politely. I almost laughed, not because of Kurt's manners, which I found adorable, but because he only said it because he is terrified of my dad, which is not necessary.

"He would like to go through you, dad of course," I stated, clearing up the obvious question.

"Hmm…Well have you contacted the police yet?" Dad asked Kurt as he opened up a filing cabinet near his desk, searching through papers.

Kurt's eyes grew wide and looked at me frantic. Why is he so upset? All he has to say is no…Ah yes, the medicine effecting his emotions. How could I forget?

"I—I don't know what to do. I just decided this and I don't even know where to begin…" Kurt trailed off, starting to sob.

Dad immediately stopped looking through papers and looked at me curiously. "Why is he crying?" he asked slowly.

"Medicine," I replied to dad, sighing before turning to a helplessly hallucinating Kurt. "Calm down Kurt everything is going to be _fine_. We'll take this step by step, alright?" I barely rubbed up and down his arm. He looked away from dad a little embarrassed and gave me a short nod.

"Just listen to dad. He knows what he's talking about and he knows about everything that's going to have to be done first," I continued to sooth him which calmed his emotions down bit by bit.

"Kurt you're seventeen, right?" Dad asked him and Kurt gave him a wordless nod.

"Alright, I suggest your father or step-mother to call this number…" Dad started as he began to scribble down a name and number on a sheet of paper.

"He's the police officer I've been sending most of the victims from Charles' assaults to. You and your father or step-mother can meet with him as soon as possible and he'll tell you everything that's going to have to happen for a thorough investigation on your attack," Dad finished, giving Kurt the number.

Kurt took the piece of paper and glanced down as Dad began to further explain the process. "The investigation might take a while but we don't know. It just depends on the facts and what they find out." Kurt nodded understandingly, but a little saddened at that face. "After the investigation Mr. Begley, that's the police officer here, will fill out a police report and send it to your local county district attorney."

"That's you, right?" Kurt asked.

"_Right_ and I will determine whether to take him to court, which I _will_. After I determine to or not, I have to research your claim and make a court date, then set up a winning argument. But, I'm in the middle of four other trials right now so after the investigation, I'll have to wait to research your case before we can make a court date," Dad finished.

I knew this whole process, I've heard of Dad speak to mom and me about cases before so I just sat there and zoned out while he spoke to Kurt but the one thing that got my attention was:

I'll have to wait to research your case.

I felt like my heart dropped to the floor. I was so happy Kurt finally decided to press charges. I felt like after this happened and Charles was arrested, Kurt could finally start getting on track. But hearing this was like a punch to the stomach for me.

"What do you mean you have to wait?" I asked, a little angry.

"It _means_ that until my other four clients' trials are over with, I can't start on Kurt's case," Dad said slowly.

"How long will that take?" I snapped.

"I don't know Blaine…a couple months?" Dad answered frustrated with me.

I stood up and neared closer to dad. My cool and collected feelings were out the window for sure. I have been keeping strong for Kurt for so long, trying to be a rock for him when he's going through rocket-high emotions or panic attacks that somehow _this_ was the last straw.

"A couple _months_?! He's waited a _month_ to get out of the hospital and another for him to even _decide_ this. Why do we have to wait?"

"Blaine! It's not a big deal!" Dad stood up as well and began to yell at me. Dad and I have a bit of a temper problem from time to time. Tonight was a good example of that. While poor Kurt had to sit in one of Dad's office chairs and watch us scream.

"Yes it _is_ a big deal! This is important to both of us and he _needs_ to be safe as soon as possible!"

"But if Charles is arrested for any of his other assaults then the reason for Kurt's trial will be already covered. All we'll have to do is get Kurt a restraining order then," Dad calmed his voice down, controlling his temper a lot more than I was.

"But what if he doesn't?" I said, my voice almost cracking.

Dad's arms seemed to loosen on the desk as he remembered his first victim's trial; the room seemed to grow very quiet all of a sudden as I realized what an impact that question was to Dad.

"What if he _doesn't_ get arrested and is still out there assaulting people like us? Or still trying to hurt Kurt worse like he did today?" I questioned him further and tried to control my voice better. Then I realized what I blurted out and mentally cursed myself.

Dad's eyebrows shot up and looked at a very frightened Kurt. "What…did Charles find you? What happened, Blaine?" he turned to me.

"No, Jimmy," Kurt spoke up.

"Who's Jimmy?" Dad shook his head.

"One of his 'henchmen' It's not that it matters anyway because _you_ can't pull a few strings for him," I stressed.

"Blaine you're being selfish, these people need justice too," Kurt spoke up quietly, always thinking of other people.

"Blaine, _what_ happened today? If it's anything serious as a physical assault you can add that to your claim when you speak with Officer Begley." Dad then turned to Kurt and asked him quietly, "Did he physically hurt you?"

Kurt nodded slowly.

"Well what was it!? Did he punch you, slap, kick…?" Dad was beginning to get frustrated, when he works on a case he likes to know the facts. But Kurt is highly frightened right now and I could tell Dad wasn't regarding Kurt's feelings while he was getting frustrated.

"It was…sexually," I spoke up for Kurt.

"It wasn't anything serious like a couple months ago. Just—just _touching_ and things like that," Kurt said uncomfortably.

Dad nodded slowly and sucked his lips in as he took in the information. "Okay, I want you to call your father or step-mother _tonight_ and tell them about Officer Begley and meeting with him as soon as possible. I'm sorry Blaine but that's just the way this stuff works. I can't start on Kurt's until I'm finished with Ethan's," Dad spoke to both of us while keeping his voice down for Mom's sake.

I shook my head as I helped Kurt up. "Yeah well I guess Kurt and I have gotten a pretty good taste on how the world works."

ooOOoo

"It's not that big of a deal, Blaine."

"Yes it _is_ a big deal! He put you through _all_ this pressure trying to get you to press charges, go through trail, now that you've finally decided to…it might be a couple months before the court date…and who knows how long until the trial ends!? It's like he doesn't appreciate what you had to go through to make this decision."

I was pacing back and forth in my bedroom while Kurt was sitting on the edge of my bed, listening to me rant.

"These other people had to wait too," he said sympathetically.

"But you're my _boyfriend_ and what if the damage done to you is worse than the other guys? Don't you deserve it more?" I tried to get him to side with me.

"Everyone deserves justice for this kind of thing." Kurt shrugged.

"_Why_ are you siding with him? You didn't even like him before he came to realize his acceptance for me! For us!" I groaned, feeling a headache start to take over my thoughts.

"I'm not siding with anyone! I'm just telling you what I think. Come on Blaine sit down, just…sit right here," Kurt patted on the spot beside him on the bed.

I sighed and reluctantly sat beside him; he wrapped his arm around me and offered me an adorable grin. There is no way that grin could not make me smile, no matter how pissed off I was at my dad.

"I just…I'm tired of having to go through this crap," I muttered, feeling how drained I was.

"What do you mean?" he asked lightly.

"You deserve to be safe and happy. Are you happy right now?" I questioned him.

His eyebrows rose and the sudden challenge. "Not really—"

"That's what I thought. I just want this intolerance and hate to _end_ so people like us can have a good life. What is it going to take for that to happen? You didn't deserve anything that sick man put you through and now we have to deal with everything this world is throwing at us," I interrupted him and relaxed my head on his shoulder half-way through my rambling.

"You're an amazing boyfriend," he remarked, almost breathless.

"Huh?" I asked confused and still so tired, I thought we were talking about Dad and the deadline of this trial, not me.

"I just…I thought I was trying to do this all on my own since it happened to just me but…you're stressing over it too even though you don't technically have to," Kurt chuckled a little.

My head popped up. "Yes I do. I've told you since this happened that I promised to keep you safe, that you'll find happiness again and whatever it takes I'm going to make that happen," I said firmly.

"I _am_ happy," he insisted with a little smile.

I shook my head again. "No you're not you don't have to—"

"What chance in a lifetime does a gay kid in Lima, Ohio have to find their true love in _high_ _school_? Now I get to spend every day with you and…we're going though this together to bring justice. It's…kind of exhilarating." He gave my shoulders a squeeze.

"But you only see your family on the weekends and you can barely walk and this medicine is causing—"

"I don't care. Because I know that's only temporary. After this trial…after Charles is out of my life…I get to spend the rest of it with you. I find that very satisfying," Kurt interrupted me and gave me a little peck on the lips. I was completely silent as he pulled away from my lips. I ran out of things to say from his encouragement.

"But for your dad, I think you need to be a good son," Kurt said carefully after a small silence.

Does Kurt not think I'm a good son?

"What do you mean?" I looked at him confused.

"Your dad is doing a lot for the LGBT community right now, even though he doesn't realize it," Kurt clarified.

"He's just doing what a lawyer does. People come to him with claims and he helps fight for them." I shrugged, not really seeing where Kurt is going with this.

"But he is the only lawyer in Lima that will fight for justice to gay rights. For as long as we dated, he hardly spoke to us and when he did it was completely inappropriate at times. But now look at how he's changed and I think you had something to do with that." Kurt gave me a little poke on the shoulder, sealed with a grin.

"_We_ did," I corrected, turning my head to grin back at him.

"_We_?"

"Yeah, he knows you make me happy, he knows you're important to me and maybe _seeing_ us in action was better proof for him than just telling him that it's normal for me to fall in love with guys other than girls."

Kurt nodded and squeezed my shoulders. "That's also true. But what I'm getting at is I think your dad needs to know how much you appreciate this. You do appreciate what he's doing, right?"

I nodded instantly at his question. "Yes, of course! I—I just wish he could work on your case as soon as the police report gets filed," I mumbled the last part, mostly to myself.

"You don't have to do this but…I think you should come to your dad's next court date."

I scrunched my eyebrows together. Huh, I've never been to one of dad's trials before.

"The opening date for Ethan?" I asked and he nodded. Yeah, I could do that. "I think that's a good idea," I said softly to him.

"I'm full of good ideas," Kurt said as he lifted his shoulders with an adorable wink. I chuckled at him and then realized something completely crucial to me going to dad's next trial.

"Wait, Charles will be there. If I see him…I may want to kill him right there and I'm pretty sure murder is illegal," I stated.

"Honey if you _really_ want my court date to come Charles is going to _have_ to be alive."

"I want him dead though," I said simply.

Kurt chuckled, "I do too but you know what? Sometimes even when it's hard we have to take the high road."

"Ugh, that damn high road."

ooOOoo

_Knock Knock_

"Hmm?..." I mumbled in my sleep.

_Knock Knock _"Blaine?" I heard someone sniff. I almost jumped out of bed hearing Kurt's voice sound broken and him sniffing from the other side of the door. I ran to my bedroom door and opened it. The light was off in the hallway and in my room but I saw Kurt there in his bathrobe with tussled hair, glistening skin, and redden eyes.

As soon as he saw me he began to ramble and apologize, "I'm sorry Blaine, I know you're asleep and it's too early in the morning but I couldn't fall back asleep and it was so—"

"Stop, please. What's wrong? I could care less about the time," I interrupted him, rubbing my temples a little.

"I had a nightmare," he said brokenly. I nodded wordlessly and took his hand and guided him to my bed, closing the door behind him. After helping him take his bathrobe off and settling him underneath the covers, I snuggled close to him and held him as he cried silently.

"What happened?" I asked softly.

"It was about Jimmy this time. I dreamed he did…worse thing than what he actually did," he sobbed into my extra pillow. We were both so tired and I honestly didn't know what to say so I just continued to rub his shoulders and tangle my legs with his.

"Just fall back asleep, you'll sleep better I promise," I cooed.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," Kurt mumbled after a little hiccup.

"Well you need your sleep; you're going to have to," I said as I wrapped my arms around his belly and gave him a little squeeze.

He cried out and pushed my arm away. "Ow! My cut still hurts."

I gasped, immediately feeling like a horrible person. I was trying to comfort him and make him feel better, now I just made him feel even worse. "I'm sorry baby, god I forgot I'm sorry," I apologized in a hurry, adjusting my arm to drape around his waist instead of touching any part of him.

"It's okay," he sighed sadly. I really wanted to kick myself now.

"Let's just go to sleep, alright? We need to catch up and I promise you'll sleep better this time. If you have another bad dream then you wake me up, alright?" I mumbled close to his hair as I wiped his wet cheek.

I felt him nod underneath my fingers. I leaned closer and kissed his cheek. "Good night, I love you."

"Love you too," Kurt mumbled sleepily.

After that, Kurt didn't wake up at all that night; he actually slept peacefully all night. My conscious kept waking me up every few hours to check on him and he would still be sleeping underneath my arms, sleeping so peacefully.

Sometimes, even though I felt like a creeper, I would just watch him sleep for a minute. He looked so peaceful and I wanted to remember what that looked like because I knew that I don't get to see that on him a lot.

That Sunday morning, I woke up and saw the light streaming in from my closed window. I glanced at the alarm clock.

8:13 A.M.

Wow, my conscious let me sleep for four more hours before waking me up. Somehow my body seemed to sleep on the side of the bed instead of the middle and Kurt had his arm and leg draped over my body as his head shared a pillow with me.

God, he looked so peaceful.

I really want to get up and get a new license plate but I don't want to wake him up. That flew out the window when my bedroom door banged open and hit the wall on the other side. I wouldn't have been as shocked and scared if it was my dad.

No, it was mom.

Seeing Kurt and I sleeping together.

With his body half on top of mine.

Gee thanks, Karma.

She gasped a little but her face showed no disgust which was incredibly weird. Kurt jumped and woke up from the sudden noise, when he saw mom standing in the doorway he gasped and jumped to the other side of the bed, looking away.

"Blaine Randall Anderson! You promised me you would mow the lawn at seven this morning," Mom gritted to me.

Ugh, I forgot about that. I should have set my alarm.

"I'm sorry mom I completely forgot I—"

"You _know_ we are having company over tonight, I don't want them thinking we live in a damn pasture," she interrupted me angrily.

A pasture mom, really?

"Mom it's not that long—"

"Go mow the lawn. Kurt can go back to sleep. You need your sleep don't you?" She neared close to Kurt as he talked with him in that creepy tone she seemed to reserve just for him. "Do you want something to eat?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I'll just toast me bagel after I—"

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Kurt," Mom interrupted me and both Kurt and I were left with our mouths open. Kurt, trying to be polite towards her, turned to face her and shook his head instantly.

"I—No thanks Mrs. Anderson I—I'm really sleepy. I'll be fine. Thanks for offering," he stuttered nervously.

"You're welcome. Go change, Blaine."

I nodded and jumped out of bed, rushing to my closet.

"I'll be at the gym for my yoga class. I except half of the yard finished by the time I get back," Mom announced and then closed the door without another word.

That was weird.

"Why did she ask if I wanted something if she's leaving?" Kurt wondered out loud as he snuggled back into the bed with his heard on my pillow.

"She probably wanted me to make it for you," I grumbled, taking my tank top off and replacing with another. Before grabbing a pair of shorts and changing from the waist down in my bathroom, I heard Kurt mumbled sleepily from his pillow.

"_Could_ you get me something?"

"I thought you were fine." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I—I don't want your mom making me anything. She scares me," he said quietly and I chuckled, not disagreeing at all.

"What do you want, sweetie?" I grinned at him.

"Do you have any sugary cereal?"

"Um yeah I think we have Cookie Crisp and Captain Crunch…" I trailed off, trying to recall our sugary cereals.

"I'm in the mood for something unhealthy. Captain Crunch, please?" he gave me to most adorable, innocent grin.

I smiled, "Of course. Whole milk or two percent?"

"Two percent! You are _not_ fatting me up completely Anderson!" Kurt shrieked.

I chuckled, "Alright. Let me change pants and then I'll get your food." I gave him a kiss in his messy hair and then continued with my previous duties.

After changing and giving Kurt exactly what he ordered, I raced outside to mow the lawn and hoping I could get done in record time so Kurt wouldn't be too bored by himself.

It just so happened that I did get half the yard done by the time mom's yoga class was over, actually I had two-thirds of the yard done, so all I had to do was a smaller section and I would be finished with this smelly work.

When I treaded inside, after taking my shoes off of course, I found Dad watching the news drinking coffee, and mom tackling the dishes.

"Where's Kurt?" I asked, to no one in particular, but hoping dad would answer.

"In _your_ bedroom still I suppose," Mom replied, a bitter tone to indicating he was in my bedroom.

I bit my tongue and nodded. "Thanks mom."

I walked into my bedroom and found Kurt lying on his side, almost half way off the bed, with his head hanging down. I thought he was asleep but when I neared closer his head popped up, saw me, and then looked down.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, he looked like Eeyore; very depressed.

"You stink, Blaine," he stated while completely ignoring my question. That's strange he seems depressed and angry at the same time.

"I'm about to take a shower…But what's wrong?" I asked sympathetically, nearing closer to him.

"I'm _fine_," he said angrily.

Yes Kurt you are completely fine. The tone in your voice gives that away. "Tell me what's wrong," I insisted.

Kurt immediately sat up in bed and I saw his eyes gleaming, on the verge of tears. "Can you just go please? Just leave me alone! Quit treating me like I'm a damn porcelain doll!" he screamed.

I bit my tongue, resisting the urge to say something completely insensitive and sarcastic.

"Tell me what's wrong, Kurt," I repeated.

"Leave! God, how many times do I have to yell at you for you to receive this?! Leave me alone!" He screamed, throwing a pillow at me. This just fell to my feet.

"Okay…I'm _not_ going to leave. I'm taking a shower in my bathroom. You need to calm down before you talk to me again," I said to him and walked off to my room, completely ignoring the comment he made next:

"Whatever, _dad_."

This is the time where even though I love Kurt with everything I have, I really just want to shake him to let him know how he makes me feel when he goes through emotional imbalance.

I bit my tongue again as I got a change of clothes and entered my bathroom. As I turned the shower on and started to strip down I heard Kurt begin to cry.

I stood close to the door so I could hear him more clearly and a very small little mumble of his that I heard said, "I hate my life."

Reviews from Chapter Seventeen:

**Sarahamanda: **Thanks! Here's the next update!(:

**Herecomethefireworks: **Haha wow thank you! But the wait is no longer! Except for three MORE weeks! But Klaine will be safe soon enough! (:

**Andrea.85: **Wow! What a review! Thanks so much! It IS a hard story to write ;) but here's another update! Hope you enjoy! And the sadness will start to die down very soon! Not to worry.

**Gatsbyabroad: **I know I am so sorry for the inconvenience. I private messaged you and explained in detail. The chapter HAS been fixed though, sorry about that!

**A/N: Coming up in three weeks: The dinner with the Anderson's and what Blaine's mom really thinks of her son and Kurt, also Kurt will be meeting with officer Begley and their neighbor from two houses down I have previously mentioned. "Take A Bite Of My Heart Tonight" will be updated next Monday and I have also edited the first two chapters of this story and a chapter that left everyone confused…so stay tuned! Love and Klainebows to all!**


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